I am so excited. A, my sort-of daughter-in-law, the mother of my first dearly adored granddaughter, is seriously considering moving to Denver. At first I was surprised, but the more I thought of it, the more I like the idea. Especially because her mom and stepdad (who are her main emotional support) would also go, moving there as soon as they sell their own house. Her brother already lives there. I'm thrilled, because this way it'd be So Much Easier to squeeze in more visits, and see both granddaughters, and at least one son. And if N (the other son ) ever does move back there too instead of traveling, I could see him too.
This all came up rather suddenly, and I don't know what is spurring the discussion, but whatever it is, I'm all for it. I'm booked to fly down to Phoenix in January for a quick weekend with them, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be able to leave before then: she needs to find a job up there first, and then sell her house.
Cinnamon the Siamese is adjusting to living with us. She has spent several days now living in the bathroom, perched or curled up on a shelf overlooking the sink. Have no idea why. I'm concerned she might be sick-- J keeps finding little spots of vomit on the rugs. But she is eating just fine, and drinking plenty of water. She's greeting me now with little croaky squeaks, and likes to be petted and cuddled up to a point. Then, whap! out comes the paw.
The only issue we keep noticing is the ongoing battle against the fleas. Murphy got treated with Comfortis, and yet we notice him and the 3 kitties still scratching, so either the kitties need treating too, or we need to bomb the house once again. How to do so, since it's winter, and where/what can we do with the kitties while the spray does its job? Only one of the kitties goes outside during the winter, which explains the fleas--I think.
My daughter is having serious financial issues. She is not earning much from the part-time job, and even with the monthly help from her grandpa, my dad, that's not nearly enough to cover her expenses. I think she is living beyond her means, but she's also had some serious medical issues and that does account for at least $2000 of her bills. Fortunately or unfortunately, many many people are in the same boat: facing medical issues with no insurance. She is in the process of contacting each biller and working out payment plans. Still, it'll take literally years before she is out of debt.
Unless she manages to land a good-paying job soon, or even at graduation 6 months from now, this is just going to get worse. I need to remember I'm helpless to do much, since we have our own debt. But I did take her grocery shopping Monday afternoon. She may not have cash money to pay bills, but we can at least help with food, which she wasn't even bothering with when working out a budget. She does need to eat. That might be part of the medical issue-- a poor-student's diet certainly doesn't help with emotional and financial well-being, and it definitely might be contributing to her recent panic attacks. Money lessons are so damn difficult to live through, and learn from. J and I are still learning money lessons, even though we are both doing much much better than we were in previous marriages.
I remember learning some harsh lessons after my gramma died, and her sorely needed generous monthly checks stopped. My cousin, who was managing her finances at that time, was perfectly willing to continue sending those checks after her death, but I felt, finally, horribly embarrassed at that idea, and just decided to bite the bullet; I hoped that would be the final shove my then-husband needed to get a damn job and keep it. Didn't work.
Instead, I got a better job purely by "accident"--- or was it serendipity?? And eventually it dawned on me that I couldn't rely on anyone but myself to support myself. That started the process of returning to school, and getting a better job, and so on.
My daughter will have some more painful lessons too, when her grandpa's checks stop next year.
The local radio station I listen to in my work town only plays Christmas music now, 24/7. Sometimes I really like it, other times it's like, "enough already!!!" I'm grateful we have a great blues station, and a couple of great "timeless rock" stations. Music is so important. I remember visiting at mom's this last time, and I finally had asked if I could find some music to play while we did the Scrabble game. On the tv (that sounds weird) I found some great music channels, and was happily singing along to various tunes as we played. Suddenly mom looked up at me from her pondering of the board, and said, "You probably sing in the car, don't you?" I said that of course I did!
I don't know what I'd do if I could listen to music. Springsteen is lining up another tour for next year... and I just cannot wait. I've already told J we will be going to whatever shows are on the West Coast. He's so wonderful. He just laughed, and said "As long as they aren't in LA. SanFrancisco is fine, Oakland, Seattle, Portland, wherever---but not LA!"
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Saturday
Nice few days. Wednesday I left work early at noon, and stopped at Target on the way home to pick up some socks. I was wearing my white nursing clogs, and almost immediately (even though I wiped their soles on the rug at the entrance) fell on the slippery fall. I was embarrassed, but surprisingly, no one even offered help. I got up as quickly as I could, and continued on my way, keeping to the carpeted areas as much as I could.
Got home around 2, and J and I left to do our last minute groceries, and picked up a pizza for dinner with a great coupon. At home again I did my walk, and then had to take a tramadol. I stayed up til 10 (!) to watch all of the X-Factor show I'm really enjoying. My one son called to say he and his gf had bought a huge turkey, and were in the process of thawing in, the cold water way. He asked me how to cook it, and so we had a nice 20 minute or so conversation about what they were doing-- it was nice.
Thursday morning I took my walk fairly early. My other son called to wish me Happy Thanksgiving too; he was going to spend the day at his boss's with the rest of the crew. It was great to hear from him, and coincidentally the other son called at the exact same time to ask more questions about the 20lb turkey they were dealing with.
I was much more sore from the fall, and dealt with that extra hip pain all day. Did my Thanksgiving prep work, got the eggs cooking for deviled eggs, and we cleaned up the house. Neither one of us heard from our combined 3 youngest kids, although we'd sent emails to each, outlining when we'd be eating and so on. But no one had called to say they'd be there, or when. Weird. J was rather upset especially, at not hearing from his daughter once again, and could easily have worked himself into a depression. So we just decided to look at it as an opportunity to have an extra nice dinner on our own if no one showed up, and treat it as a special day to spend together, whether or not we spent it with our children; shortly after we came to that decision, my daughter showed up!
And we had a very nice rest of the day: Z and V both came, separately.V only stayed an hour or so, to eat some turkey, and share some of the dessert. But it was still a nice time. We sat around later, talking and laughing, listening to the music on the stereo, reviewing plans for the future.
Z left by 5 so he could help his mom with the dinner she had planned for around 6. (So it worked out just fine that we ate around 2, and they had theirs at 6. Planning these things with divorced families is sometimes a challenge.)
Meanwhile we watched the news, and then a movie which is part of our holiday tradition--Love Actually-- and even J watched this time. S left afterwards, and I think we went right to bed. I tried calling mom (but she was too tired to talk, I found out later) so I ended up just leaving a message. Long day... exhausted!
Friday my hip was not any better, so I decided not to push it by walking; instead I went outside after breakfast and grabbed the rake. Our lawn has been slowly covered, deeper and deeper; the past couple of weeks of rain and wind have really done their jobs as far as stripping the trees. J was in a very foul mood once again , over the past and how his ex had turned the kids (V) away. I've learned once he's sunk in those moods that physical labor really does help him. There's almost nothing I can say that'll ease his pain, so I steer us both to work. Fortunately the weather was gorgeously bright, sunny with blue skies. We took advantage of it and raked out leaves from various flower beds, mowed, emptied all the gutters using the ladders and leaf blowers, blew leaves off roofs of house, carport, and workshop. Tried re-seeding the lawn in certain places, too: found a sale on grass seed and took advantage of it. Hopefully the chickens won't eat it all!
We started all this outdoor stuff shortly after 9am. Took a break around 1 for 20 minutes to grab some leftovers for lunch, and went back at it. I had to stop at around 3, utterly exhausted with a nasty blister in the webbing of my right hand, even though I'd been wearing gloves. When J was finally done, he still had to go and blow off H&H's lawn, which he did in exchange for borrowing that leaf blower. When he got back from that I needed to go get my prescriptions, so I offered to do that alone; he wouldn't hear of it, and insisted on coming along. The pharmacy is in Safeway, and that's pretty close. The shops in that mall weren't as busy as I expected, but it was pretty late in the day...
At home again we watched the news, and then started to watch a Robert Downey Jr movie called Iron Man, but we were both exhausted. I think he went to bed around 9, and I joined him an hour later.
This morning I have my meeting, and since it's still supposed to be a sunny if cold day, we might do more outside work. I'll try another walk, but man, my hip is still aching...
Got home around 2, and J and I left to do our last minute groceries, and picked up a pizza for dinner with a great coupon. At home again I did my walk, and then had to take a tramadol. I stayed up til 10 (!) to watch all of the X-Factor show I'm really enjoying. My one son called to say he and his gf had bought a huge turkey, and were in the process of thawing in, the cold water way. He asked me how to cook it, and so we had a nice 20 minute or so conversation about what they were doing-- it was nice.
Thursday morning I took my walk fairly early. My other son called to wish me Happy Thanksgiving too; he was going to spend the day at his boss's with the rest of the crew. It was great to hear from him, and coincidentally the other son called at the exact same time to ask more questions about the 20lb turkey they were dealing with.
I was much more sore from the fall, and dealt with that extra hip pain all day. Did my Thanksgiving prep work, got the eggs cooking for deviled eggs, and we cleaned up the house. Neither one of us heard from our combined 3 youngest kids, although we'd sent emails to each, outlining when we'd be eating and so on. But no one had called to say they'd be there, or when. Weird. J was rather upset especially, at not hearing from his daughter once again, and could easily have worked himself into a depression. So we just decided to look at it as an opportunity to have an extra nice dinner on our own if no one showed up, and treat it as a special day to spend together, whether or not we spent it with our children; shortly after we came to that decision, my daughter showed up!
And we had a very nice rest of the day: Z and V both came, separately.V only stayed an hour or so, to eat some turkey, and share some of the dessert. But it was still a nice time. We sat around later, talking and laughing, listening to the music on the stereo, reviewing plans for the future.
Z left by 5 so he could help his mom with the dinner she had planned for around 6. (So it worked out just fine that we ate around 2, and they had theirs at 6. Planning these things with divorced families is sometimes a challenge.)
Meanwhile we watched the news, and then a movie which is part of our holiday tradition--Love Actually-- and even J watched this time. S left afterwards, and I think we went right to bed. I tried calling mom (but she was too tired to talk, I found out later) so I ended up just leaving a message. Long day... exhausted!
Friday my hip was not any better, so I decided not to push it by walking; instead I went outside after breakfast and grabbed the rake. Our lawn has been slowly covered, deeper and deeper; the past couple of weeks of rain and wind have really done their jobs as far as stripping the trees. J was in a very foul mood once again , over the past and how his ex had turned the kids (V) away. I've learned once he's sunk in those moods that physical labor really does help him. There's almost nothing I can say that'll ease his pain, so I steer us both to work. Fortunately the weather was gorgeously bright, sunny with blue skies. We took advantage of it and raked out leaves from various flower beds, mowed, emptied all the gutters using the ladders and leaf blowers, blew leaves off roofs of house, carport, and workshop. Tried re-seeding the lawn in certain places, too: found a sale on grass seed and took advantage of it. Hopefully the chickens won't eat it all!
We started all this outdoor stuff shortly after 9am. Took a break around 1 for 20 minutes to grab some leftovers for lunch, and went back at it. I had to stop at around 3, utterly exhausted with a nasty blister in the webbing of my right hand, even though I'd been wearing gloves. When J was finally done, he still had to go and blow off H&H's lawn, which he did in exchange for borrowing that leaf blower. When he got back from that I needed to go get my prescriptions, so I offered to do that alone; he wouldn't hear of it, and insisted on coming along. The pharmacy is in Safeway, and that's pretty close. The shops in that mall weren't as busy as I expected, but it was pretty late in the day...
At home again we watched the news, and then started to watch a Robert Downey Jr movie called Iron Man, but we were both exhausted. I think he went to bed around 9, and I joined him an hour later.
This morning I have my meeting, and since it's still supposed to be a sunny if cold day, we might do more outside work. I'll try another walk, but man, my hip is still aching...
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tuesday
One more update.
Last weekend when J's son Z stayed at our house to watch over the kitties and chickens, we warned him that the kitties are very vocal at night, and that's why we've been putting them in the bus at night. (I hated doing that, but I also know that shortly after I moved in up here, the noise from the kitties was more than J could deal with-- he was wakeful, and sure that this was why I hadn't been sleeping well for years. Soon he had me reassured they would be fine overnight in the converted-to-a-grow-room bus. I had to agree it was quite warm in there, and that we couldn't hear them outside at night. So they've been out there nightly ever since. )
Well, Z decided not to do that. On our return he reported to us that the cats hadn't made any noise at all. Incredulous, we tried leaving them inside the house a few nights later. That was 5 nights ago. There hasn't been a sound. I'm stunned. I'm also so relieved that they are inside with us; since Cinnamon's arrival, the resident cats have been even more affectionate, wanting to be in laps a good portion of the time.
Elizabeth's been steadily growing weaker in her back legs, but loves to be picked up and held in my lap for some cuddles in the morning before I leave for work. Sheba is not at all anxious to go out at night now that it's so cold, and wet, and dark, so she parks herself on my lap, and sits there til we all turn out the lights about 9 or 9:30.
I do not know where the kitties sleep, although last night Cinnamon slept on a low corner cupboard we have in the bedroom. She'd been on my pillow when I got home , and stayed there til J tried petting her (as he went to bed earlier than me) and she hissed-- he firmly picked her up off the pillow, and placed her at the foot of the bed, whereupon she jumped onto that corner cupboard and stayed there.
I absolutely love knowing "my" kitties are inside with us at night. I've felt guilty for the past 3 years that they were forced outside. But I had to go along with my husband's wishes, partly because I still felt as though it was "his" house, and partly because I didn't want to be the one responsible for him not sleeping well, and partly because I didn't want him to think I was --god forbid-- unreasonable about my cats. (Am I my mother's daughter, anyone??) I cried the first few nights they were out there, but over time I saw no problems, and the kitties seemed to hold no grudges, and we all 3 gradually got used to the routine.
Still, having them inside gives me a warm secure feeling, especially now that it's Winter. I'm just thrilled that Cinnamon is in our room, and settling in.
Last weekend when J's son Z stayed at our house to watch over the kitties and chickens, we warned him that the kitties are very vocal at night, and that's why we've been putting them in the bus at night. (I hated doing that, but I also know that shortly after I moved in up here, the noise from the kitties was more than J could deal with-- he was wakeful, and sure that this was why I hadn't been sleeping well for years. Soon he had me reassured they would be fine overnight in the converted-to-a-grow-room bus. I had to agree it was quite warm in there, and that we couldn't hear them outside at night. So they've been out there nightly ever since. )
Well, Z decided not to do that. On our return he reported to us that the cats hadn't made any noise at all. Incredulous, we tried leaving them inside the house a few nights later. That was 5 nights ago. There hasn't been a sound. I'm stunned. I'm also so relieved that they are inside with us; since Cinnamon's arrival, the resident cats have been even more affectionate, wanting to be in laps a good portion of the time.
Elizabeth's been steadily growing weaker in her back legs, but loves to be picked up and held in my lap for some cuddles in the morning before I leave for work. Sheba is not at all anxious to go out at night now that it's so cold, and wet, and dark, so she parks herself on my lap, and sits there til we all turn out the lights about 9 or 9:30.
I do not know where the kitties sleep, although last night Cinnamon slept on a low corner cupboard we have in the bedroom. She'd been on my pillow when I got home , and stayed there til J tried petting her (as he went to bed earlier than me) and she hissed-- he firmly picked her up off the pillow, and placed her at the foot of the bed, whereupon she jumped onto that corner cupboard and stayed there.
I absolutely love knowing "my" kitties are inside with us at night. I've felt guilty for the past 3 years that they were forced outside. But I had to go along with my husband's wishes, partly because I still felt as though it was "his" house, and partly because I didn't want to be the one responsible for him not sleeping well, and partly because I didn't want him to think I was --god forbid-- unreasonable about my cats. (Am I my mother's daughter, anyone??) I cried the first few nights they were out there, but over time I saw no problems, and the kitties seemed to hold no grudges, and we all 3 gradually got used to the routine.
Still, having them inside gives me a warm secure feeling, especially now that it's Winter. I'm just thrilled that Cinnamon is in our room, and settling in.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, and updates
First: Cinnamon is adjusting. We realized after 2 whole days that she'd decided to live upstairs, instead of with the rest of us. So J waited til she was downstairs and eating her breakfast, and then blocked off the access to the second level. Turns out she is one smart and agile kitty. Two separate times she managed to gracefully leap straight up and onto the mattress (which was blocking the landing). And then happily settled in again upstairs.
Finally the third try on Sunday morning worked. She nosed around numerous times, trying to find an opening up there, and then would run lightly down the stairs and wander around before heading back up and attempting that again. We tried to pretend we weren't watching her work on this, but a couple of times I caught her eye...and then I would casually looked away. In the end, I think she's given up. Yesterday afternoon we were enjoying a lazy quiet day inside reading, and J finally yawned and said he was going to take a nap. Once in the bedroom, there was Cinnamon, curled up on my pillow. She slept there most of the afternoon. So cute!
Second: The desk mom gave J last July, which we brought home and which has been sitting at a furniture restorer's busines since. Ivan, the restorer, finally brought it to us Saturday afternoon. What a difference some love and attention to detail makes! J is thrilled. Ivan had to special order or specially make several replacement pieces; he says it was made in 1768, by a Jonathan Kent. It's a captain's desk, made to be on shipboard, kind of a compact desk, the drawers pull out on the side, there's a felt-covered writing area--it's beautifully designed. (I did some research online and could find no captain's desks before the early 1800s, nor the builder's name...but I only spent an hour or so looking. I'm sure Ivan knows what he is doing, and has access to a lot of places I didn't. He says it's now worth about $4200, and recommended we add it to our insurance coverage.)
J rearranged the living room somewhat so the desk has a visible place in the corner, by the window. We're all adjusting to a different arrangement. Murphy loves lying along the back of the sofa again, where he can look out the window.
Third: J went to the podiatrist today, having been referred by his regular doc; this doc says yes, it really is "only" severe tendonitis in his left foot. He's been told to stay off his feet for two weeks, and buy some arch supports, and not to wear the beloved old deck shoes anymore. How he is going to manage staying off his feet I don't know... but I'm glad it wasn't a worse diagnosis.
These past few days just flew by as usual. I led at my meeting Saturday morning, and that was a great meeting. We started with 3 people! By the time we were half an hour in, there were about 16 more... later at home I walked the dog in the very cold weather, and then J's oldest son and his son stopped by for a while. Then Ivan called, saying he was on his way. While he was here, another friend Craig (who is the one who gave us Murphy) stopped by for awhile. Murphy is always thrilled to see him, and cuddles and wiggles as though he is overjoyed.
Craig told us he'd just spent close to $2000 on his favorite dog, when she had a burst abscess on her uterus. $2000! Holy cow...that would have been a tough choice to make...(Oddly, later that evening after J had gone to bed and I was sitting up reading, J's oldest son called in a panic: he was rushing to the vet and needed his dad's financial help. Their dog had lapped up some antifreeze...So J dressed and drove over to meet him with our credit card. He got back home before 11, and it turned out happily-- the dog *hadn't* eaten antifreeze after all. Sigh. $140 later...)
Later we made a quick trip to Blockbuster to return what we thought was a defective disc of the latest "Pirates" movie-- we couldn't get the DVD to play anymore after about an hour--it kept bouncing back to the beginning. Very frustrating! So we got a replacement disc, and also a free rental. We tried "Green Lantern". I don't remember this comic at all, but the movie wasn't bad, and we were able to see the whole thing with no problem. "Pirates"? No; even the second disc refused to play beyond the same certain point the other disc had stopped at. Argghhh! So I don't know now what the issue is, and neither does J. If "Green Lantern" hadn't worked we were all set to replace the DVD player...but it worked just fine.
One really good thing happened yesterday, good as in: made me feel good to do a good deed. After finishing our grocery shopping, I went to place the cart in the rack, and there was another cart with someone's handbag left in it. I looked around, but even though the parking lot was jammed, there was no one frantically looking around. I brought it inside and turned it over to customer service. I liked knowing that someone is going to feel so relieved when she calls that store and discovers that someone found it...
Friday, J had made plans to look at a set of chains he found on craigslist for the Lincoln. So we drove all the way to Lebanon again--twice in one week! Literally, I'd never been there before this past week, and now we've been twice. J liked the chains and bought them for $20; and then we stopped in at the new Walmart there for groceries and a replacement shower curtain, and some socks we both needed. J can't stand dealing with large crowds, so I tried to choose as quickly as I could. We found a really nice shower curtain not made in China, and compared prices on food items-- generally Winco, our regular store, has the cheaper prices. Then home, and a walk for me in the rain again.
I called mom late yesterday too, and once again it was about an hour. I could hear her lighting up cigarette after cigarette. Complaining about ongoing pain, commenting on her weight loss which is continuing, asking me if she is "dying of cancer right now". I think she's pretty close to stopping the Tarceva entirely, as it's really killing her energy level and appetite. She kept asking what I thought, and so I tried to be supportive of whatever decision she makes; either she is buying herself time, or she isn't, and she gets to be the one to decide. No one else is going to tell her what to do, although she desperately wants someone to.
I think we're both learning that even the docs don't really know what is going to work on any given person, and mom is no exception. So that gives her freedom to choose other treatments if she wants. Unfortunately, I think she is tempted to try some treatments which are hideously expensive, because of some anecdotal evidence. The good news there is that she doesn't have a lot of money to play with, and therefore her explorations won't get her too far... I'm sure if these various alternatives worked with any regularity, they would be getting all kinds of press. But she is convinced that the BigMedicine companies are suppressing the (alternative) meds which do work, because of their being a threat to the drug companies' profits. Jeez. Well, whatever. I'm certainly not going to argue or try to talk her out of that. That would be useless.
It was nice to hear from my dad this morning, that he thinks I'm doing the right thing, even if I'm not getting much appreciation! That felt really good to hear.
Tonight is my book study meeting, and that'll be nice. I'm glad this meeting is so close to my home, as the weather is quickly worsening--apparently there is a huge storm coming this way for tonight, and the rest of the week. I saw snow in the foothills this morning, and that's about right for this time of year.
Finally the third try on Sunday morning worked. She nosed around numerous times, trying to find an opening up there, and then would run lightly down the stairs and wander around before heading back up and attempting that again. We tried to pretend we weren't watching her work on this, but a couple of times I caught her eye...and then I would casually looked away. In the end, I think she's given up. Yesterday afternoon we were enjoying a lazy quiet day inside reading, and J finally yawned and said he was going to take a nap. Once in the bedroom, there was Cinnamon, curled up on my pillow. She slept there most of the afternoon. So cute!
Second: The desk mom gave J last July, which we brought home and which has been sitting at a furniture restorer's busines since. Ivan, the restorer, finally brought it to us Saturday afternoon. What a difference some love and attention to detail makes! J is thrilled. Ivan had to special order or specially make several replacement pieces; he says it was made in 1768, by a Jonathan Kent. It's a captain's desk, made to be on shipboard, kind of a compact desk, the drawers pull out on the side, there's a felt-covered writing area--it's beautifully designed. (I did some research online and could find no captain's desks before the early 1800s, nor the builder's name...but I only spent an hour or so looking. I'm sure Ivan knows what he is doing, and has access to a lot of places I didn't. He says it's now worth about $4200, and recommended we add it to our insurance coverage.)
J rearranged the living room somewhat so the desk has a visible place in the corner, by the window. We're all adjusting to a different arrangement. Murphy loves lying along the back of the sofa again, where he can look out the window.
Third: J went to the podiatrist today, having been referred by his regular doc; this doc says yes, it really is "only" severe tendonitis in his left foot. He's been told to stay off his feet for two weeks, and buy some arch supports, and not to wear the beloved old deck shoes anymore. How he is going to manage staying off his feet I don't know... but I'm glad it wasn't a worse diagnosis.
These past few days just flew by as usual. I led at my meeting Saturday morning, and that was a great meeting. We started with 3 people! By the time we were half an hour in, there were about 16 more... later at home I walked the dog in the very cold weather, and then J's oldest son and his son stopped by for a while. Then Ivan called, saying he was on his way. While he was here, another friend Craig (who is the one who gave us Murphy) stopped by for awhile. Murphy is always thrilled to see him, and cuddles and wiggles as though he is overjoyed.
Craig told us he'd just spent close to $2000 on his favorite dog, when she had a burst abscess on her uterus. $2000! Holy cow...that would have been a tough choice to make...(Oddly, later that evening after J had gone to bed and I was sitting up reading, J's oldest son called in a panic: he was rushing to the vet and needed his dad's financial help. Their dog had lapped up some antifreeze...So J dressed and drove over to meet him with our credit card. He got back home before 11, and it turned out happily-- the dog *hadn't* eaten antifreeze after all. Sigh. $140 later...)
Later we made a quick trip to Blockbuster to return what we thought was a defective disc of the latest "Pirates" movie-- we couldn't get the DVD to play anymore after about an hour--it kept bouncing back to the beginning. Very frustrating! So we got a replacement disc, and also a free rental. We tried "Green Lantern". I don't remember this comic at all, but the movie wasn't bad, and we were able to see the whole thing with no problem. "Pirates"? No; even the second disc refused to play beyond the same certain point the other disc had stopped at. Argghhh! So I don't know now what the issue is, and neither does J. If "Green Lantern" hadn't worked we were all set to replace the DVD player...but it worked just fine.
One really good thing happened yesterday, good as in: made me feel good to do a good deed. After finishing our grocery shopping, I went to place the cart in the rack, and there was another cart with someone's handbag left in it. I looked around, but even though the parking lot was jammed, there was no one frantically looking around. I brought it inside and turned it over to customer service. I liked knowing that someone is going to feel so relieved when she calls that store and discovers that someone found it...
Friday, J had made plans to look at a set of chains he found on craigslist for the Lincoln. So we drove all the way to Lebanon again--twice in one week! Literally, I'd never been there before this past week, and now we've been twice. J liked the chains and bought them for $20; and then we stopped in at the new Walmart there for groceries and a replacement shower curtain, and some socks we both needed. J can't stand dealing with large crowds, so I tried to choose as quickly as I could. We found a really nice shower curtain not made in China, and compared prices on food items-- generally Winco, our regular store, has the cheaper prices. Then home, and a walk for me in the rain again.
I called mom late yesterday too, and once again it was about an hour. I could hear her lighting up cigarette after cigarette. Complaining about ongoing pain, commenting on her weight loss which is continuing, asking me if she is "dying of cancer right now". I think she's pretty close to stopping the Tarceva entirely, as it's really killing her energy level and appetite. She kept asking what I thought, and so I tried to be supportive of whatever decision she makes; either she is buying herself time, or she isn't, and she gets to be the one to decide. No one else is going to tell her what to do, although she desperately wants someone to.
I think we're both learning that even the docs don't really know what is going to work on any given person, and mom is no exception. So that gives her freedom to choose other treatments if she wants. Unfortunately, I think she is tempted to try some treatments which are hideously expensive, because of some anecdotal evidence. The good news there is that she doesn't have a lot of money to play with, and therefore her explorations won't get her too far... I'm sure if these various alternatives worked with any regularity, they would be getting all kinds of press. But she is convinced that the BigMedicine companies are suppressing the (alternative) meds which do work, because of their being a threat to the drug companies' profits. Jeez. Well, whatever. I'm certainly not going to argue or try to talk her out of that. That would be useless.
It was nice to hear from my dad this morning, that he thinks I'm doing the right thing, even if I'm not getting much appreciation! That felt really good to hear.
Tonight is my book study meeting, and that'll be nice. I'm glad this meeting is so close to my home, as the weather is quickly worsening--apparently there is a huge storm coming this way for tonight, and the rest of the week. I saw snow in the foothills this morning, and that's about right for this time of year.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thursday
I don't know what happened to me yesterday. Maybe it was the accumulation of a lot of emotion, but around 11 in the morning a Headache began. The gruesome details I won't go into but the Thing hung on all day, and worsened steadily despite doing everything I know of to deter/stop/cure whatever (acupressure, gulping lots of water, pinching the space between thumb and forefinger, fiorecet, excedrin, stretching exercises, getting up and moving often, aromatherapy, moving the freakin monitor so I wouldn't be at an unnatural angle, more stretching, deep breathing, placing an ice pack at the back of my neck). Nothing helped.
At 2, BossJ came in after her class, gave me my check, and I left at 2:30. At home I walked in the rain for over 2 miles, head pounding all the way, knowing I'd have to bathe the dog when I got home. He had a blast, but was completely soaked by the time we got in. Once inside J took over, so I could remove my wet clothes, pop a tramadol for my aching hip, and showered under very hot water, hot as I could stand. I even took half of a lorazepam because I was starting to think if I could just relax and *not* focus on the pain that would help. As it was, that was all I could deal with-- it was the worst headache ever, just back there throbbing away. Not a migraine, but just below that level.
J did his chiro thing on my neck, and rubbed my shoulders and back; I lay quietly in the darkened bedroom trying to breathe slowly. Later I wobbled out to lean back in my chair and sip some soup, which had no seasoning even. Bland. Ugh. But it was hot. And warming.
Finally I had a glass of wine, and when that failed to dull the constant pressure, I gave up, and went to bed. It was 7:15. I fell asleep pretty quickly and even when I woke at 6am, the last of it was still there. But taking two excedrin kicked it by about 9am.
I can do without those days.
At 2, BossJ came in after her class, gave me my check, and I left at 2:30. At home I walked in the rain for over 2 miles, head pounding all the way, knowing I'd have to bathe the dog when I got home. He had a blast, but was completely soaked by the time we got in. Once inside J took over, so I could remove my wet clothes, pop a tramadol for my aching hip, and showered under very hot water, hot as I could stand. I even took half of a lorazepam because I was starting to think if I could just relax and *not* focus on the pain that would help. As it was, that was all I could deal with-- it was the worst headache ever, just back there throbbing away. Not a migraine, but just below that level.
J did his chiro thing on my neck, and rubbed my shoulders and back; I lay quietly in the darkened bedroom trying to breathe slowly. Later I wobbled out to lean back in my chair and sip some soup, which had no seasoning even. Bland. Ugh. But it was hot. And warming.
Finally I had a glass of wine, and when that failed to dull the constant pressure, I gave up, and went to bed. It was 7:15. I fell asleep pretty quickly and even when I woke at 6am, the last of it was still there. But taking two excedrin kicked it by about 9am.
I can do without those days.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Wednesday
We are home. Sheer relief.
Leaving early Monday, we packed up and didn't wake mom until we were literally warming up the car. She is and always has been quite groggy in the morning, and of course now there's a lot of pain to deal with too. We all hugged and kissed goodbye, took some photos, she was very happy we'd been here, and we were glad to be able to do what we could. A friend told me to think of it as a gift, that my time up there is a gift to her in the ending of her life. And that has helped so much somehow. Puts a different perspective on this. Reminds me this is all day-by-day.
I had felt clogged up and sinus-y since Saturday, probably due to the smoke. I didn't feel clean and clear-lunged til Monday night. Good grief, it's a long drive, and a long day. S sat in back all the way, working on homework, listening to her IPhone. J and I talked a lot, but also enjoyed the silence a lot. We saw a bald eagle, and snow geese, and 3 separate sightings of the bighorn sheep, and a coyote, sitting on a hill overlooking the highway. It was a very windy and gusty ride for the first half--I was glad J was driving, and that we were in the Lincoln. Stopped in TriCities for McDonalds, and all in all it was a nice ride. A far cry from the Honda.
There would have been enough room for the desk she is giving me, but the forecast was for rain, and so we didn't dare risk it. It actually didn't rain til more than halfway home, but then it was pretty hard for an hour or so. Wrapping the desk in blankets would have protected the desk, but not the inside of the trunk. So, next time...
Arrived home about 5:30, S left almost right away for her home, and J and I unpacked, ate Mexican take-out, while I cooked up the roast chicken which we will have tonight; puttering in your own home is wonderful! Watched the news, cuddled the kitties a lot, they missed us, and the chickens did fine too. J got his tub bath, first since last Thursday, which he really loves.
We have a new family member. Recently I had seen an ad on craigslist: "retired cat needs retirement home"; foolishly I clicked on it and saw a beautiful Siamese, Cinnamon. I was horrified at the woman's description of not having time for this cat anymore (and there was more...). And so after talking to J about it he agreed we could go get her. He was concerned about the furniture, and whether she still had claws. So last week I'd texted with this woman and made tentative plans to pick her up Tuesday if all went well during the "interview" with her (the cat, not the woman--she couldn't bebothered to be there, but her fiance would be). And I left work at 2, got home by 3:15, and we left shortly afterwards to find this place over in Lebanon, a half hour away.
When we arrived, the place actually surprised me: lots of land, a well-lit and taken care of double-wide manufactured home, wide driveway with lots of parking; a large chicken coop and pen with about 20 chickens, several horses over in the next field, dogs running outside. Inside were 2 employees and the woman they were feeding (it is an adult foster care home), and Josh, the fiance. Seemed very nice, very surprised to know Karisten had been looking for a home for the cat.
*She* was walking briskly, curiously, right over to us, sniffing and allowing herself to be petted. She seemed quite active, and not at all her age, which was about 17. Apparently she'd been dumped at this residence with 2 kittens about 15 years ago, and the vet guessed her age to be 2 then; she was spayed and declawed. (YAY--phew!!) After talking with Josh, and determining diet, habits, health, moods, sleeping, etc, it turns out they just wanted a quiet home for her where she could live out her life-- with the foster home and all the other animals creating constant noise, she was kinda "grumpy" they said. (Who can blame her...)
Josh gave us the cans of cat food she'd been used to, and picked her up to say goodbye, telling us he wasn't a cat person but that she was sweet. He handed her over to me, and she was fine, resting quietly, purring, touching my hands. We had brought a cardboard pet carrier with us, so in she went without a struggle. We all shook hands again, and promised to stay in touch, via texts and facebook. (Sure enough, there was a fb friend request when I finally had a chance to check this morning...)
At home (after the quietest drive I have ever had with a cat--she didn't make a sound) I left her in the carrier for about half an hour, and let her get used to the sounds of the house, the news on tv, the greetings of Murphy and the two other cats, getting dinner, etc. I set up a food station for her near the other cats', and then moved the carrier into the bathroom (where the catboxes are, and the food and water). Opened the box, and she poked her head right out, exploring. I placed her near her food and she went right for it. As I stroked her back while she ate, she was making this funny growling/humming/talking noise--it's not loud or aggressive, it's like she is talking. Num-num-num-num.
Then we tried to just leave her alone and let her adjust. Elizabeth was quite surprised to see another face looking down on her from the ledge where the catfood bowls are! She was curious, but since she can't hear anything, she wasn't bothered by the noises. Later still, Sheba and Cinnamon faced off, some minor hissing on both sides, and again, we let them work it out. I think it helps that they are all senior cats.
After an hour or so, I was in the kitchen cleaning up, and caught a movement-- Cinnamon was out and exploring. Murphy promptly got up in J's lap, where Sheba had already settled herself. From that vantage point they watched Cinnamon's progress in the house. I was amazed at her boldness. Siamese trait?
She settled herself finally on the bottom step of the stairs, where she sat and washed, and finally curled up. I have no idea where she slept, but there was no sound during the night. (Sheba and Elizabeth always are put out in the old truck/growing room at night because of their night-time vocalizing.)
I'm happy J is at home, and able to monitor Cinnamon's adjustment; I kinda wish I could be there too. But I know he'll handle it, and that he is absolutely thrilled she is declawed. I'm absolutely thrilled I have a husband who is happy to make me happy! As a friend of his told him yesterday, "You're lucky-- my wife loves...horses!"
At work, I have only one patient this whole week, who has come and gone this morning already. Today is a catching up (on the Web!) day for me, my regular blogs, etc. I get paid today too, so will stop at the bank on the way home. BossJ and I got caught up yesterday, and exchanged news etc. I am really so lucky.
Leaving early Monday, we packed up and didn't wake mom until we were literally warming up the car. She is and always has been quite groggy in the morning, and of course now there's a lot of pain to deal with too. We all hugged and kissed goodbye, took some photos, she was very happy we'd been here, and we were glad to be able to do what we could. A friend told me to think of it as a gift, that my time up there is a gift to her in the ending of her life. And that has helped so much somehow. Puts a different perspective on this. Reminds me this is all day-by-day.
I had felt clogged up and sinus-y since Saturday, probably due to the smoke. I didn't feel clean and clear-lunged til Monday night. Good grief, it's a long drive, and a long day. S sat in back all the way, working on homework, listening to her IPhone. J and I talked a lot, but also enjoyed the silence a lot. We saw a bald eagle, and snow geese, and 3 separate sightings of the bighorn sheep, and a coyote, sitting on a hill overlooking the highway. It was a very windy and gusty ride for the first half--I was glad J was driving, and that we were in the Lincoln. Stopped in TriCities for McDonalds, and all in all it was a nice ride. A far cry from the Honda.
There would have been enough room for the desk she is giving me, but the forecast was for rain, and so we didn't dare risk it. It actually didn't rain til more than halfway home, but then it was pretty hard for an hour or so. Wrapping the desk in blankets would have protected the desk, but not the inside of the trunk. So, next time...
Arrived home about 5:30, S left almost right away for her home, and J and I unpacked, ate Mexican take-out, while I cooked up the roast chicken which we will have tonight; puttering in your own home is wonderful! Watched the news, cuddled the kitties a lot, they missed us, and the chickens did fine too. J got his tub bath, first since last Thursday, which he really loves.
We have a new family member. Recently I had seen an ad on craigslist: "retired cat needs retirement home"; foolishly I clicked on it and saw a beautiful Siamese, Cinnamon. I was horrified at the woman's description of not having time for this cat anymore (and there was more...). And so after talking to J about it he agreed we could go get her. He was concerned about the furniture, and whether she still had claws. So last week I'd texted with this woman and made tentative plans to pick her up Tuesday if all went well during the "interview" with her (the cat, not the woman--she couldn't be
When we arrived, the place actually surprised me: lots of land, a well-lit and taken care of double-wide manufactured home, wide driveway with lots of parking; a large chicken coop and pen with about 20 chickens, several horses over in the next field, dogs running outside. Inside were 2 employees and the woman they were feeding (it is an adult foster care home), and Josh, the fiance. Seemed very nice, very surprised to know Karisten had been looking for a home for the cat.
*She* was walking briskly, curiously, right over to us, sniffing and allowing herself to be petted. She seemed quite active, and not at all her age, which was about 17. Apparently she'd been dumped at this residence with 2 kittens about 15 years ago, and the vet guessed her age to be 2 then; she was spayed and declawed. (YAY--phew!!) After talking with Josh, and determining diet, habits, health, moods, sleeping, etc, it turns out they just wanted a quiet home for her where she could live out her life-- with the foster home and all the other animals creating constant noise, she was kinda "grumpy" they said. (Who can blame her...)
Josh gave us the cans of cat food she'd been used to, and picked her up to say goodbye, telling us he wasn't a cat person but that she was sweet. He handed her over to me, and she was fine, resting quietly, purring, touching my hands. We had brought a cardboard pet carrier with us, so in she went without a struggle. We all shook hands again, and promised to stay in touch, via texts and facebook. (Sure enough, there was a fb friend request when I finally had a chance to check this morning...)
At home (after the quietest drive I have ever had with a cat--she didn't make a sound) I left her in the carrier for about half an hour, and let her get used to the sounds of the house, the news on tv, the greetings of Murphy and the two other cats, getting dinner, etc. I set up a food station for her near the other cats', and then moved the carrier into the bathroom (where the catboxes are, and the food and water). Opened the box, and she poked her head right out, exploring. I placed her near her food and she went right for it. As I stroked her back while she ate, she was making this funny growling/humming/talking noise--it's not loud or aggressive, it's like she is talking. Num-num-num-num.
Then we tried to just leave her alone and let her adjust. Elizabeth was quite surprised to see another face looking down on her from the ledge where the catfood bowls are! She was curious, but since she can't hear anything, she wasn't bothered by the noises. Later still, Sheba and Cinnamon faced off, some minor hissing on both sides, and again, we let them work it out. I think it helps that they are all senior cats.
After an hour or so, I was in the kitchen cleaning up, and caught a movement-- Cinnamon was out and exploring. Murphy promptly got up in J's lap, where Sheba had already settled herself. From that vantage point they watched Cinnamon's progress in the house. I was amazed at her boldness. Siamese trait?
She settled herself finally on the bottom step of the stairs, where she sat and washed, and finally curled up. I have no idea where she slept, but there was no sound during the night. (Sheba and Elizabeth always are put out in the old truck/growing room at night because of their night-time vocalizing.)
I'm happy J is at home, and able to monitor Cinnamon's adjustment; I kinda wish I could be there too. But I know he'll handle it, and that he is absolutely thrilled she is declawed. I'm absolutely thrilled I have a husband who is happy to make me happy! As a friend of his told him yesterday, "You're lucky-- my wife loves...horses!"
At work, I have only one patient this whole week, who has come and gone this morning already. Today is a catching up (on the Web!) day for me, my regular blogs, etc. I get paid today too, so will stop at the bank on the way home. BossJ and I got caught up yesterday, and exchanged news etc. I am really so lucky.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Sunday, at mom's
Yesterday was filled with more awkward moments.
First, she slept until almost 1 in the afternoon. We were awake by 6:30. Because we'd gotten in about 5 the day before when it was already dark, it was too dark to look at the various outside chores she had planned. So in the morning, we learned it had snowed, but also that there was very little information to go on as far as what she wanted done. Yes, she'd left a chore list, but it apparently only "made sense to the writer", as J tactfully put it. He was very frustrated, and both of us felt groggy anyway. Neither of us had slept well. So he kind of milled around looking for stuff to do.
I made breakfast for us, and even lunch. Emptied the fridge of the expired stinking items, and later she retrieved the dead avocados. J and I exchanged glances of understanding, because we knew she'd object to some aspect of my cleaning!
I worked on the piles of mail and various papers in different stacks, learning that she hadn't been able to keep up with dealing with payments to a few crucial places. I found several "final notices", and hope we can deal with them today, a Sunday.
When she finally did wake up she appeared very groggy, too. I know she was up very late, at least until 1 or 1:30. J and I had fallen into bed around 10, while S stayed up with her for awhile. Took her awhile to get going, and by the time she did, she basically forced herself to because the snow had started up again, big time, and she needed to get up to the barn herself. (Never mind that J and S were ready and willing to do those chores, she decided she needed to be there too.) The snow was rapidly covering the ground, the trees, wind blowing madly.Around that time, I guess it was close to 2, the lights, computers, microwave, electric heaters, everything shut off quite suddenly. There we were, sitting in the dark. And it stayed dark.
Mom and J and S bundled up and went outside to do the barn and chicken coop stuff, and I stayed in the house with Murphy. He and I had played outside in the snow for about 5 minutes before I went in, thinking he'd be chasing after Grace the Akita, and enjoying the snow. No way-- he sat outside the back door, occasionally giving a sorrowful little bark. Meanwhile it got darker and darker. And colder.
When they all came back in, the first thing J did was get the wood stove started, and soon we had warmth, and found enough candles, and eventually we had light from about 8 candles in the dining and kitchen areas, sitting around the table talking. During those conversations, various awkward moments would come up: mom would say something completely outrageous and either J and I would quickly exchange glances, or S and I would; telepathically we all had to decide in an instant whether to comment or clarify, or ignore. Examples:
S asked her for what she knew about the candle sticks she had just been given, mom would give a little history, and always she was the Star of the story. Uncle Karl had given her, (and not Mr and Mrs so-and-so) the case of wine because she alone had commented on the "superb quality" of that wine which had been served at dinner. Uncle Karl gave her the candlesticks because she was full of "life and vibrant glowing beauty". Uncle Dean gifting her with $8000 because she had been the one person to stand up to him (when he announced someone's minor crime should be "shot outright"). Numerous other instances which I just could not think of anything to say in response to. I tried to busy myself with re-heating dinner, or cleaning up an area.
Finally after dinner, the power people arrived: in the middle of an extremely awkward moment during which J was being forced to explain or defend or something, he suddenly said,"there's somebody's headlights coming up the drive", which he could see in the utter blackness outside. The snow had stopped, and there was about 2 inches accumulation. We all hurried outside feeling like we'd been saved, and I swear mom would have thrown her arms around this rep from the power company: he said there was a fuse blown at the substation and they were tracking its effects. No word about when it would be fixed.
When we got back inside and thawed out again, someone suggested Scrabble. And that's what we did. Eventually the lights did come back on, and oh were we relieved! I was not looking forward to trying to stay warm with no electric blanket, no heat, no water--because by then mom had decided we didn't have a good enough water supply so no one could wash dishes or take a shower or even fill up the sink to let dishes soak.
This morning it is now 9:25, and it's gloriously sunny outside, the snow is melting, it's warm inside. S is sleeping on the sofa, mom hasn't woken yet. I've been asked to clear out the contents of the cupboards above the washer and dryer but not to throw anything away. Huh???
One more day. We'll be leaving at 9 tomorrow. Thank god the three of us are here together.
First, she slept until almost 1 in the afternoon. We were awake by 6:30. Because we'd gotten in about 5 the day before when it was already dark, it was too dark to look at the various outside chores she had planned. So in the morning, we learned it had snowed, but also that there was very little information to go on as far as what she wanted done. Yes, she'd left a chore list, but it apparently only "made sense to the writer", as J tactfully put it. He was very frustrated, and both of us felt groggy anyway. Neither of us had slept well. So he kind of milled around looking for stuff to do.
I made breakfast for us, and even lunch. Emptied the fridge of the expired stinking items, and later she retrieved the dead avocados. J and I exchanged glances of understanding, because we knew she'd object to some aspect of my cleaning!
I worked on the piles of mail and various papers in different stacks, learning that she hadn't been able to keep up with dealing with payments to a few crucial places. I found several "final notices", and hope we can deal with them today, a Sunday.
When she finally did wake up she appeared very groggy, too. I know she was up very late, at least until 1 or 1:30. J and I had fallen into bed around 10, while S stayed up with her for awhile. Took her awhile to get going, and by the time she did, she basically forced herself to because the snow had started up again, big time, and she needed to get up to the barn herself. (Never mind that J and S were ready and willing to do those chores, she decided she needed to be there too.) The snow was rapidly covering the ground, the trees, wind blowing madly.Around that time, I guess it was close to 2, the lights, computers, microwave, electric heaters, everything shut off quite suddenly. There we were, sitting in the dark. And it stayed dark.
Mom and J and S bundled up and went outside to do the barn and chicken coop stuff, and I stayed in the house with Murphy. He and I had played outside in the snow for about 5 minutes before I went in, thinking he'd be chasing after Grace the Akita, and enjoying the snow. No way-- he sat outside the back door, occasionally giving a sorrowful little bark. Meanwhile it got darker and darker. And colder.
When they all came back in, the first thing J did was get the wood stove started, and soon we had warmth, and found enough candles, and eventually we had light from about 8 candles in the dining and kitchen areas, sitting around the table talking. During those conversations, various awkward moments would come up: mom would say something completely outrageous and either J and I would quickly exchange glances, or S and I would; telepathically we all had to decide in an instant whether to comment or clarify, or ignore. Examples:
S asked her for what she knew about the candle sticks she had just been given, mom would give a little history, and always she was the Star of the story. Uncle Karl had given her, (and not Mr and Mrs so-and-so) the case of wine because she alone had commented on the "superb quality" of that wine which had been served at dinner. Uncle Karl gave her the candlesticks because she was full of "life and vibrant glowing beauty". Uncle Dean gifting her with $8000 because she had been the one person to stand up to him (when he announced someone's minor crime should be "shot outright"). Numerous other instances which I just could not think of anything to say in response to. I tried to busy myself with re-heating dinner, or cleaning up an area.
Finally after dinner, the power people arrived: in the middle of an extremely awkward moment during which J was being forced to explain or defend or something, he suddenly said,"there's somebody's headlights coming up the drive", which he could see in the utter blackness outside. The snow had stopped, and there was about 2 inches accumulation. We all hurried outside feeling like we'd been saved, and I swear mom would have thrown her arms around this rep from the power company: he said there was a fuse blown at the substation and they were tracking its effects. No word about when it would be fixed.
When we got back inside and thawed out again, someone suggested Scrabble. And that's what we did. Eventually the lights did come back on, and oh were we relieved! I was not looking forward to trying to stay warm with no electric blanket, no heat, no water--because by then mom had decided we didn't have a good enough water supply so no one could wash dishes or take a shower or even fill up the sink to let dishes soak.
This morning it is now 9:25, and it's gloriously sunny outside, the snow is melting, it's warm inside. S is sleeping on the sofa, mom hasn't woken yet. I've been asked to clear out the contents of the cupboards above the washer and dryer but not to throw anything away. Huh???
One more day. We'll be leaving at 9 tomorrow. Thank god the three of us are here together.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Wednesday
Not too busy a weekend. Meeting Saturday morning, walking in the afternoon,and my daughter called to say she had exciting news to share in person. She arrived at the end of us watching "Inception", and we talked a bit before she broke the news that she's been chosen Editor of the local site of a national campus online magazine she's been writing for. She's only been writing for them a few months. Clearly she has made an impression!
To celebrate she treated us to pizza, and then we tried to watch a movie, but the copy of the DVD we'd rented was defective. Arghhhh! Nothing more frustrating than settling in for a good show, and about 20minutes in the thing it started jumping scenes... I called them to complain and was emailed coupons for 2 free rentals--which expire Sunday. So we won't be able to take advantage of these after all. (Because we leave Friday morning and don't get back til Monday night.)
Before we started watching the movie I received a phone call from my missing son--I was very happy to hear his voice. He had good news too, having been promoted to manager of the sales crew. He was calling from Memphis; they had just taken a tour of Graceland! That's a place I've always wanted to visit... he was pretty stoked about it. Wonderful to hear his voice, and he sounded much less stressed.
Then to the coast Sunday morning, to write up and have signed an official bill of sale for the boat, to Travis. He said again we can of course take the boat out anytime, and also offered to set us up for crabbing. All supplies, boat, etc. Think we'll do that.
Then we drove down 101 to Lost Creek and had a wonderful walk/play/soaking-in-of the ocean. The place was almost deserted, just the way we like it. Water wasn't very cold, but I still wouldn't have wanted to step into it wearing a swimsuit. We walked a good mile down and back. Wonderful.
On the way back up the trail to the car, since Murphy was not on a leash, I decided to see if he'd follow my orders while he was not on that leash. Our code word is "with me", said firmly with a tug on the leash whenever he gets to pulling, or starting to get hyper, or barking, or jumping at another dog. So I tried it, and to my amazement he obeyed: his ears went back down, and he dropped back to my left side right by my foot. I had to say it a few times as we were ascending the trail back to the road, but he obeyed. J was awestruck, and kept commenting on how well I'd done in training him. Frankly I was awestruck too.
Stopped into a fudge shop, the only one which was open. The one I wanted to buy from wasn't open so this was a new place. Everything looked yummy, and we bought a hunk of fudge, and some chocolate covered caramels. Disappointingly they didn't taste as good as they looked. Maybe that's my lesson: another reminder to stay away from that which doesn't like me: wow, did I have a headache on the way home. Plus I could feel that intense chocolate in my system--quite a sugar boost.
Home to walk again, and then we just had a quiet evening at home. I called Mom and listened to her for close to an hour. She is all excited that we are arriving Friday. With any luck the composting toilet will be installed by then. This is Wednesday, and J and I have received so many emails regarding the shipment, the picking up of, the size and number of boxes...and then more correspondence regarding who is installing it, and when etc etc etc.
My daughter called and gave me a pre-birthday gift of a decision between seeing The Nutcracker ballet in December, or a ballet set to Beatles music on my actual birthday weekend. What a tough choice!! Love Nutcracker...love the Beatles. But in the end I texted her "Nutcracker...". And she called yesterday to say she'd gotten seats for us and for J too! I'm so excited...I'd thought it would be a mother-daughter thing, but I'm even more touched that she invited J too. He absolutely adores ballet, and is looking forward to this as much as I am.
Nice long email from my dad, bringing me up to date-- sounds like surgery is on the horizon there.
Most of my friends in the East do have their power back now after that October snowstorm. My old hometown's online headline was that " about 12 still remain without power" in the town. Jeez...
Guess I'm just mentally preparing for the upcoming weekend. Yesterday at work was just killer-- my monitor was there from 9 til after 4, and that's a loooong day for me. I was bushed when I got home. It was already dark, so I didn't walk-- took a break from that. Meantime, J had been the recipient of some money owed him, so jointly we decided to give in and take the dog to the vet, to fight the damned fleas. Since January we've been doing everything possible, and tried every potential home remedy and treatment. Absolutely nothing has helped. A friend has been having similar issues with his small dogs, and also finally took them to the vet, who prescribed Comfortis. Friend says it worked like magic.
So Murphy went to the vet. (I'd tried ordering this online but you need a vet's rx, and our previous vet wouldn't do it without seeing the dog. Sigh. I understand. And I hate the damn games pet owners have to play.) The new vet was someone J's son recommended, and J liked him a lot. The exam, and the one pill, and two worming pills cost $77. Not too bad. Interestingly, this vet says he doesn't even recommend Frontline or Advantage anymore, as they simply don't work. Maybe that's just here in Oregon, but it was nice to get that official confirmation, that it wasn't just anecdotal evidence among all my/our pet owning friends.
And that night, last night, he was scratching noticeably less.
Maybe this will truly work. Keepingmy fingers crossed...
To celebrate she treated us to pizza, and then we tried to watch a movie, but the copy of the DVD we'd rented was defective. Arghhhh! Nothing more frustrating than settling in for a good show, and about 20minutes in the thing it started jumping scenes... I called them to complain and was emailed coupons for 2 free rentals--which expire Sunday. So we won't be able to take advantage of these after all. (Because we leave Friday morning and don't get back til Monday night.)
Before we started watching the movie I received a phone call from my missing son--I was very happy to hear his voice. He had good news too, having been promoted to manager of the sales crew. He was calling from Memphis; they had just taken a tour of Graceland! That's a place I've always wanted to visit... he was pretty stoked about it. Wonderful to hear his voice, and he sounded much less stressed.
Then to the coast Sunday morning, to write up and have signed an official bill of sale for the boat, to Travis. He said again we can of course take the boat out anytime, and also offered to set us up for crabbing. All supplies, boat, etc. Think we'll do that.
Then we drove down 101 to Lost Creek and had a wonderful walk/play/soaking-in-of the ocean. The place was almost deserted, just the way we like it. Water wasn't very cold, but I still wouldn't have wanted to step into it wearing a swimsuit. We walked a good mile down and back. Wonderful.
On the way back up the trail to the car, since Murphy was not on a leash, I decided to see if he'd follow my orders while he was not on that leash. Our code word is "with me", said firmly with a tug on the leash whenever he gets to pulling, or starting to get hyper, or barking, or jumping at another dog. So I tried it, and to my amazement he obeyed: his ears went back down, and he dropped back to my left side right by my foot. I had to say it a few times as we were ascending the trail back to the road, but he obeyed. J was awestruck, and kept commenting on how well I'd done in training him. Frankly I was awestruck too.
Stopped into a fudge shop, the only one which was open. The one I wanted to buy from wasn't open so this was a new place. Everything looked yummy, and we bought a hunk of fudge, and some chocolate covered caramels. Disappointingly they didn't taste as good as they looked. Maybe that's my lesson: another reminder to stay away from that which doesn't like me: wow, did I have a headache on the way home. Plus I could feel that intense chocolate in my system--quite a sugar boost.
Home to walk again, and then we just had a quiet evening at home. I called Mom and listened to her for close to an hour. She is all excited that we are arriving Friday. With any luck the composting toilet will be installed by then. This is Wednesday, and J and I have received so many emails regarding the shipment, the picking up of, the size and number of boxes...and then more correspondence regarding who is installing it, and when etc etc etc.
My daughter called and gave me a pre-birthday gift of a decision between seeing The Nutcracker ballet in December, or a ballet set to Beatles music on my actual birthday weekend. What a tough choice!! Love Nutcracker...love the Beatles. But in the end I texted her "Nutcracker...". And she called yesterday to say she'd gotten seats for us and for J too! I'm so excited...I'd thought it would be a mother-daughter thing, but I'm even more touched that she invited J too. He absolutely adores ballet, and is looking forward to this as much as I am.
Nice long email from my dad, bringing me up to date-- sounds like surgery is on the horizon there.
Most of my friends in the East do have their power back now after that October snowstorm. My old hometown's online headline was that " about 12 still remain without power" in the town. Jeez...
Guess I'm just mentally preparing for the upcoming weekend. Yesterday at work was just killer-- my monitor was there from 9 til after 4, and that's a loooong day for me. I was bushed when I got home. It was already dark, so I didn't walk-- took a break from that. Meantime, J had been the recipient of some money owed him, so jointly we decided to give in and take the dog to the vet, to fight the damned fleas. Since January we've been doing everything possible, and tried every potential home remedy and treatment. Absolutely nothing has helped. A friend has been having similar issues with his small dogs, and also finally took them to the vet, who prescribed Comfortis. Friend says it worked like magic.
So Murphy went to the vet. (I'd tried ordering this online but you need a vet's rx, and our previous vet wouldn't do it without seeing the dog. Sigh. I understand. And I hate the damn games pet owners have to play.) The new vet was someone J's son recommended, and J liked him a lot. The exam, and the one pill, and two worming pills cost $77. Not too bad. Interestingly, this vet says he doesn't even recommend Frontline or Advantage anymore, as they simply don't work. Maybe that's just here in Oregon, but it was nice to get that official confirmation, that it wasn't just anecdotal evidence among all my/our pet owning friends.
And that night, last night, he was scratching noticeably less.
Maybe this will truly work. Keepingmy fingers crossed...
Friday, November 4, 2011
Friday
This morning we got to sleep in til about 6:30. Nice--normally J is wakened by the dog, who does a little submarine kind of tunneling in the space between our bodies, and gives him lots of doggy kisses and sneezes til J gets up. It's very cute to listen to, especially knowing I can just lie there and let him handle the morning chores!
I learned yesterday that my GI doc wants me to be alcohol-free for 7 weeks, before I do the repeat labs. That was news to me; my understanding was that I was to *cut back* if I wanted to, prior to the labs being drawn this weekend. So the new plan is a shocker for me. (Frankly I don't understand it. From what I've read, the alcohol needs to be gone from one's system for a month before the GGT level drops to normal. In any case, I certainly haven't been alcohol free!)
So I explained I wanted to wait and do this early next year, and then have the labs redrawn in mid-February instead. They of course agreed. Then I called my own doc and asked her to order the GGT only, so I can participate in the research study. She agreed. She had said I didn't have to be fasting, so we had breakfast...but when I did more research this morning prior to going to the lab, I read that the best and most accurate results come when one *is* fasting. Hmm. So I'll go Monday morning instead, first thing. Too bad all the docs can't agree!
And then we did our few errands: the bank, picked up some groceries, and the DMV to get a replacement handicapped tag. We also have rented two movies, using my free pass codes.
It's so cold here today. When I walked with the dog, I could see my breath...
We also discovered we'd made a miscalculation on the money: J filled up the tank using the debit card instead of the gas card... that was enough to cause an immediate hunt for more cash, so that we didn't overdraw. We found just over $30 in our change jar alone, and I took $40 from the $130 we had set aside for the drive up to Spokane. Both of those together are enough to make this work out. Phew! Thank goodness for the change jar...otherwise we would have needed to take a cash advance on a credit card, something we definitely do not want to do.
He is still very upset and mulling over what to say if/when his daughter calls him; he has sent her an email describing how upset he is, saying however that he is ready to talk with her if she wants to. Now the hard part is waiting for her to respond.This is so hard for him; knowing that *she* knows she messed up, but equally he is not willing to just let it go.
I learned yesterday that my GI doc wants me to be alcohol-free for 7 weeks, before I do the repeat labs. That was news to me; my understanding was that I was to *cut back* if I wanted to, prior to the labs being drawn this weekend. So the new plan is a shocker for me. (Frankly I don't understand it. From what I've read, the alcohol needs to be gone from one's system for a month before the GGT level drops to normal. In any case, I certainly haven't been alcohol free!)
So I explained I wanted to wait and do this early next year, and then have the labs redrawn in mid-February instead. They of course agreed. Then I called my own doc and asked her to order the GGT only, so I can participate in the research study. She agreed. She had said I didn't have to be fasting, so we had breakfast...but when I did more research this morning prior to going to the lab, I read that the best and most accurate results come when one *is* fasting. Hmm. So I'll go Monday morning instead, first thing. Too bad all the docs can't agree!
And then we did our few errands: the bank, picked up some groceries, and the DMV to get a replacement handicapped tag. We also have rented two movies, using my free pass codes.
It's so cold here today. When I walked with the dog, I could see my breath...
We also discovered we'd made a miscalculation on the money: J filled up the tank using the debit card instead of the gas card... that was enough to cause an immediate hunt for more cash, so that we didn't overdraw. We found just over $30 in our change jar alone, and I took $40 from the $130 we had set aside for the drive up to Spokane. Both of those together are enough to make this work out. Phew! Thank goodness for the change jar...otherwise we would have needed to take a cash advance on a credit card, something we definitely do not want to do.
He is still very upset and mulling over what to say if/when his daughter calls him; he has sent her an email describing how upset he is, saying however that he is ready to talk with her if she wants to. Now the hard part is waiting for her to respond.This is so hard for him; knowing that *she* knows she messed up, but equally he is not willing to just let it go.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Wednesday
Last night we sat down to pay the bills as we normally do on our 3 paydays a month. I had the pleasure of contributing an extra $285, what I'd earned doing my second job for those few weeks. That was nice!
Still, we also had to pay the property taxes (almost $1600) and the flood insurance ($754). Ouch ouch ouch. We had to basically wipe out the entire savings account to pay these. Can't put them off; and of course both are mandatory. I should be used to this by now, but other than the last 3 years with J, I've never owned a house long enough to have to pay taxes. It's a shock every time. But thank god the house itself is paid off, otherwise we'd never be able to make it.
So, we're back to zero. Usually we have something in savings, but since we also just paid for the Lincoln outright, that wasn't very long ago either and we just haven't had a chance to replenish. On the other hand, we're caught up for another year, and we paid off the less-than-$100 balance on the second to last cc. Only two left, each owing less than $1000.
And, we didn't have to use a cc to pay any part of the taxes or the flood insurance. I think last year we did do that, so yay for us. In the meantime, we will be eating lean for a few weeks, til my next payday on the 16th. That's okay-- we do have food.
J's utility trailer is up for sale on craigslist. Also his practically new voice-over equipment, which he never did get use from, because of the stroke. Hopefully someone will want either one soon. That would help replenish savings.
Monday morning we learned that once again J's youngest daughter has lied to him. Her birthday was this past Sunday, but because of her crazy work schedule she told him she couldn't come up, and even said that she wasn't free for him to go down to have lunch with her to celebrate. This was all discussed the weekend before her birthday, the weekend of the 22/23rd.
On Facebook then, what should appear but birthday party photos, from a family celebration and dinner at her mom's house on 10/23, which is less than a mile from where we live. Had V said, "by the way Daddy I *am* going to be at mom's so maybe I could stop by?" She had not. Not a word, except how long her hours were at the store, and how her schedule was jammed full. She usually does not respond to emails or phone calls either, except for several days later, complaining of being too busy.
But within 3 hours of those photos appearing, amazingly there was an email, all cute and perky and loving, asking if she could come here Thursday night for her birthday dinner. (God, I hate being so bitchy about her. I need to stop this.) (But I also need to vent.) I ache for J, he is so hurt, and puzzled, and bewildered.
There is a long back story to this, involving years of J being the sane partner in a bipolar marriage, and lots of verbal abuse from the wife toward the husband, etc. Lots of stress and drama. Even a vow by that wife that she was going to ruin the kids' love for their dad if it was the last thing she ever did.
So it seems this (and all the previous difficulties) are all related to the manipulating taking place.
On the other hand, the "kids" are now 24 and 21. They are old enough to make up their own minds according to what they see; that's my take on it. But J feels they are deeply affected, and aren't clearly seeing what is happening; and even if they did, that side of the family is very wealthy, and money is a huge draw for the kids. He's not making excuses, just explanations. And he therefore frequently feels compelled to point out to them exactly how they are being played. Despite my feeling that he needs to *not* do this, he does occasionally. The kids then seem to understand, and they promise that's not happening, blah blah blah, and then things seem fine for a period of time. That's where we were again, until Monday.
Maybe my divorce wasn't so bad after all! He refuses to speak to me, and has ever since the divorce was official. At the time I was frustrated because we still had an under-18 daughter with issues that needed (I thought) both parents' involvement. But that never happened, and eventually we (my daughter and I) were able to get past all that. At least I never had to deal with my ex's insanity in my AfterDivorceLife.
Today is also slow at work, so I'm catching up with email, blogs, surfing, doing research on my own. I'm ready for tomorrow's 3 patients, which in research world is a lot of work.
I was not mentally prepared to drive the Lincoln today, but I did: This morning it was bitter cold at 32 degrees, with extremely thick fog. J usually warms up the car for me in the mornings, so I can get into a cozy car, and that's what I was thinking when I went outside--"ah, a cosy morning drive"...only to see the Lincoln, headlights on, facing the road, ready for me in the dark. So sweet of him...but I panicked at first. I hope I didn't sound ungrateful!
The fog has remained, although now at least it's light outside. Still very cold. I want to get home today early enough that I can walk while it's still light. Next week after the time change I'll be walking in the dark again. I've noticed a lot of hawks around this season. I hear the coyotes at night, along with the owls. My cousin in Vermont commented on how many woolly bears she'd seen this year, and I was jealous because they are not at all common here; the very next week on my walks I must have seen 8 or 10. Weird!
My main concern is J, now. These issues with his daughter do come up regularly. It hurts me to see this happening. He will work through it on his own, and he does bounce back within a week or even less. In the meantime, he is very quiet, and sometimes he gets physically ill. I hope that doesn't happen this time.
Still, we also had to pay the property taxes (almost $1600) and the flood insurance ($754). Ouch ouch ouch. We had to basically wipe out the entire savings account to pay these. Can't put them off; and of course both are mandatory. I should be used to this by now, but other than the last 3 years with J, I've never owned a house long enough to have to pay taxes. It's a shock every time. But thank god the house itself is paid off, otherwise we'd never be able to make it.
So, we're back to zero. Usually we have something in savings, but since we also just paid for the Lincoln outright, that wasn't very long ago either and we just haven't had a chance to replenish. On the other hand, we're caught up for another year, and we paid off the less-than-$100 balance on the second to last cc. Only two left, each owing less than $1000.
And, we didn't have to use a cc to pay any part of the taxes or the flood insurance. I think last year we did do that, so yay for us. In the meantime, we will be eating lean for a few weeks, til my next payday on the 16th. That's okay-- we do have food.
J's utility trailer is up for sale on craigslist. Also his practically new voice-over equipment, which he never did get use from, because of the stroke. Hopefully someone will want either one soon. That would help replenish savings.
Monday morning we learned that once again J's youngest daughter has lied to him. Her birthday was this past Sunday, but because of her crazy work schedule she told him she couldn't come up, and even said that she wasn't free for him to go down to have lunch with her to celebrate. This was all discussed the weekend before her birthday, the weekend of the 22/23rd.
On Facebook then, what should appear but birthday party photos, from a family celebration and dinner at her mom's house on 10/23, which is less than a mile from where we live. Had V said, "by the way Daddy I *am* going to be at mom's so maybe I could stop by?" She had not. Not a word, except how long her hours were at the store, and how her schedule was jammed full. She usually does not respond to emails or phone calls either, except for several days later, complaining of being too busy.
But within 3 hours of those photos appearing, amazingly there was an email, all cute and perky and loving, asking if she could come here Thursday night for her birthday dinner. (God, I hate being so bitchy about her. I need to stop this.) (But I also need to vent.) I ache for J, he is so hurt, and puzzled, and bewildered.
There is a long back story to this, involving years of J being the sane partner in a bipolar marriage, and lots of verbal abuse from the wife toward the husband, etc. Lots of stress and drama. Even a vow by that wife that she was going to ruin the kids' love for their dad if it was the last thing she ever did.
So it seems this (and all the previous difficulties) are all related to the manipulating taking place.
On the other hand, the "kids" are now 24 and 21. They are old enough to make up their own minds according to what they see; that's my take on it. But J feels they are deeply affected, and aren't clearly seeing what is happening; and even if they did, that side of the family is very wealthy, and money is a huge draw for the kids. He's not making excuses, just explanations. And he therefore frequently feels compelled to point out to them exactly how they are being played. Despite my feeling that he needs to *not* do this, he does occasionally. The kids then seem to understand, and they promise that's not happening, blah blah blah, and then things seem fine for a period of time. That's where we were again, until Monday.
Maybe my divorce wasn't so bad after all! He refuses to speak to me, and has ever since the divorce was official. At the time I was frustrated because we still had an under-18 daughter with issues that needed (I thought) both parents' involvement. But that never happened, and eventually we (my daughter and I) were able to get past all that. At least I never had to deal with my ex's insanity in my AfterDivorceLife.
Today is also slow at work, so I'm catching up with email, blogs, surfing, doing research on my own. I'm ready for tomorrow's 3 patients, which in research world is a lot of work.
I was not mentally prepared to drive the Lincoln today, but I did: This morning it was bitter cold at 32 degrees, with extremely thick fog. J usually warms up the car for me in the mornings, so I can get into a cozy car, and that's what I was thinking when I went outside--"ah, a cosy morning drive"...only to see the Lincoln, headlights on, facing the road, ready for me in the dark. So sweet of him...but I panicked at first. I hope I didn't sound ungrateful!
The fog has remained, although now at least it's light outside. Still very cold. I want to get home today early enough that I can walk while it's still light. Next week after the time change I'll be walking in the dark again. I've noticed a lot of hawks around this season. I hear the coyotes at night, along with the owls. My cousin in Vermont commented on how many woolly bears she'd seen this year, and I was jealous because they are not at all common here; the very next week on my walks I must have seen 8 or 10. Weird!
My main concern is J, now. These issues with his daughter do come up regularly. It hurts me to see this happening. He will work through it on his own, and he does bounce back within a week or even less. In the meantime, he is very quiet, and sometimes he gets physically ill. I hope that doesn't happen this time.
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