Sunday

I'm so tired right now; this may not make much sense.

One of the big car races in DB is being held right now, and it started on Friday. It's a 24/7 race: Drivers race the track continuously from what we can tell. The Speedway is about 2 miles from us as the crow flies, right next to the airport; this endless race is loud and irritating to say the least. We've heard it before of course, but never for this long. Never for this many hours or days in a row. It's so loud it's difficult to sleep.

J and I are utterly exhausted. I think I managed about an hour last night. At around 4am, it occurred to me to find some earplugs.  Which I couldn't bring myself to get up out of bed to hunt down. Too tired.

At 5, the cat started demanding her breakfast. And the dogs woke up and began scratching, jingling their tags.  The hell with it. We both got up. I'm far too tired and grumpy to head to Pilates, so it will be a quiet indoor day, as it is also raining.

This week was  steady and busy at work. Coworker is still present most days, unresponsive to attempts to socialize, but infrequently she does suddenly take part in conversations as if nothing was wrong. It's so unpredictable. And very frustrating to work with.

On Thursday one of J's friends from Portland arrived for dinner and to spend the night. Ben is a professional photographer working with Nike. He also is the one who took J's professional photos when he was trying to be an actor back there.  In any case, Ben and his gf both have family in southern FL, so while they were visiting family for the week, they drove up here specifically to see J and meet me. I hadn't met him before, so I was anxious about this.

Sis and BIL also came to dinner, and it actually went very well. We all got along well, there was lots of laughing, exchanging stories, and compatibility. Ben is in his mid 30s I'd guess, and the gf appeared younger (but it's so hard for me to tell these days how old people are). Ben adores J. I don't know why I'm surprised anymore over the way people respond to him, but he makes friends wherever he goes.  I liked Ben, too.

They stayed overnight, but since I get up and leave for work by 7:30 in the morning I didn't see them again. They had breakfast with J, and then left around 11, to drive back to Ft Lauderdale.

In the beginning of the week, BIL's mom died; they had just agreed on Saturday that she would go into Hospice care, giving her 2-6 weeks to live. But Monday afternoon she passed.  BIL and Sis will go back there for the funeral next weekend. (BIL is overloaded with work and school and some free lance work, in addition to having an hour commute each way to work. I don't know how he manages this, but he appears to be superhuman, just as I believe J is.)

And my poor Bro is dealing with a kidney stone. It's been a very tough week for everyone.

Not to mention the horrific and terrifying political scenes, every single day. I don't watch the news. I skim the headlines on BBC and NPR, and if I am more interested I then read the article. I just cannot bear the endless state of tension and fear.  It's just exhausting.

One overwhelming sweet thing happened yesterday. At my meeting, the topic was, oddly,  pain management, as it applied to AlAnon tools. But since I work in pain management, I read aloud the appropriate section in the book we are studying, and then shared about my sons. One son is the alcoholic father of the new baby, and my other son is also living in that house. But apparently the landlady has now given that second son 30 days to move out. My son brushed it off to me in a text, saying it was no big deal, he'd just find another place to live. And it's true in some ways: he is a survivor, and he's certainly been through this before. But that does not lessen my worry over him.

Nor does it lessen my worry over the baby's dad; both of them are in precarious shape, one with where to live, the other in his relationship with the baby's mom.  I don't know what will happen. I shared with my group that because of AlAnon I had hope, and a Higher Power, and that I knew they each had a Higher Power too. Then I stopped talking, and others shared, and as always it was an emotional and uplifting meeting.

At the end of the meeting, an old-timer came up to me, and talked with me at some length about his own son, who died of an overdose many years ago. Then he took my hands and asked if he could pray with me. We bowed our heads. He spoke a few words of prayer and then  asked for help and hope and love for my sons.  That caught me off guard: I'd thought he was speaking to share his experience, strength, and hope regarding his own son. Instead, the love and understanding and support was for me, and for my sons.   

I left the room, blinking back tears. Outside, J was waiting for me in the truck, and I barely managed to climb in when the floodgates opened. Totally unexpected. J was very worried, but I reassured him this was a good thing, that I'd been given love and support from an unexpected source.   (I never really allow myself to feel how deeply I am worried, until someone offers some kindness, a hug, an acknowledgement of what I'm going through. I think I'm afraid I wouldn't stop crying.)

Well. It was a peaceful day after that. We picked up some groceries, and then watched two movies on Netflix and Amazon. One with Anthony Hopkins, called The Edge, about  three survivors of a plane crash in Alaska. The other one was called The Words, with Jeremy Irons and Bradley Cooper. Also excellent, in a completely different way.

Today I want to watch the movie about Edward R Murrow, as someone on Facebook suggested. I have never seen that one, and I think it might be appropriate.  The rain is slowing down, and the temperature is only 47 degrees. J has the fireplace going, and it's cozy inside. No need to go anywhere today, even if we had the energy. Maybe a good long nap later when the race is over.

Sunday

This afternoon we are inside.  It's cloudy, windy as hell outside, and quite warm--way upper 70s.  Supposed to be a "storm": Severe weather. But other than the gray clouds and wind, it doesn't look like rain will hit. Too bad. It's clear we need it.

The pool is covered with leaves, despite J having gone out earlier to clear away all the accumulated leaves. He has to do this 2-3 times daily now.  He has 6 garbage bags full of dead leaves. We just put those out on the curb and on Wednesday mornings they come pick  up all yard debris.

He spent his morning doing that, and bringing in most of the outdoor furniture, in preparation for this storm. He gets his physical labor doing that.  Meanwhile I went to Pilates.  When I got back we kenneled the dogs and hit the grocery store, and then to Petco PetSmart whatever it is, for bird seed.  This was on sale, so a 40lb bag was $20 instead of $29. Yay!

Wednesday night we drove over to Sis' house and had a finger-food snack-type dinner, and then piled into their car to go to a concert; this is a venue we've now been to a few times, close by her house. The band is big in the NW; I've heard of them for years but never saw them. Turns out Sis is a huge fan, and generously invited us to join them, and we were delighted to accept. It was a lot of fun: the music was a young  woman singer fronting a band which consisted of piano, drums, horns, sax, violins, and a few others, performing songs from all around the world, beautifully sung in different languages.  Some were low key, some high energy, people were encouraged to dance in the area in front of them. It was like a 40s nightclub  with a modern Latin and Parisian flair. Hard to describe, but great to listen to.

All week, Coworker E has been fighting this respiratory thing, so she is still sick. Some days she talks to us, other days not a word. We are all kind of adjusting to her mood, which seems ridiculous to me--that we have to adjust to her. But clearly she is not going to adjust to us.  She is just riding out her last days, and no one knows, least of all her, when her last day will be. I'll be glad when it's all over, even if it does mean more work.

On Friday J met with the rep here to review and then change his Medicare supplement plan to Optima (dropping the AARP supplement), so after 2/1 there will no longer be a chunk of cash coming out of his SS money to pay for that plan's deductible. This is a highly rated plan, with far better costs for us. Phew. Rx's are cheaper, no monthly deductible, lower out of pocket costs, and a lower maximum out of pocket yearly. He gets to keep his cardiologist, but will have to change to a different primary care.

Fortunately the new doc's office is just down the street from where I work, so that's a better drive than the 10 miles or so he was doing before. We wish he didn't have to leave his current PCP, but they don't take that Medicare supplement.

No other news on my end. It seems like the days are always very busy, but when I look back over the week I can't really come up with anything unusual that I did. For instance, we moved the microwave to a small table next to the fridge. That clears off the counter space we do have , and makes a big difference visually; time will tell if it's a permanent change. We have re-arranged the living room a few times, looking for that best layout; that's a work in progress too.

Our wooden kitchen table is not only old --which we like-- but its chairs are uncomfortable and squeak with every movement. I've been wanting to replace it, but that's certainly not a necessary expense right now. Still it's one of those little annoyances.  In the meantime, J's daughter in OH has the family dining table and chairs which were J's grandmother's. He really wants that set here, as the daughter is preparing to sell her house and live full-time in an RV instead. The question is how to get it here. I haven't seen it, but I hope it's more comfortable. We tend to gather in the kitchen, rather than the living room.

The inauguration was on Friday. I could not bring myself to watch the news that night. It seemed like a sad, grieving kind of day. I only skimmed the headlines on Google and BBC and NPR; more and more I cannot stand to see that man's face. Thankfully 99% of my friends feel the same way, so we commiserate in person or online-- or I just don't discuss politics with people.   It's going to be a long and difficult 4 years. The less I see of that Cheeto, the better for my mental health. Sigh.

As an early birthday present to myself, I ordered a copy of one of my favorite Westerns, How the West Was Won. I think I've actually owned this in the past, but it has disappeared. In any case, this morning it arrived from Amazon, and we will be watching it later today. These old movies bring me more comfort than almost anything else, except my books. But with watching a movie,  I can also be grooming the dogs, or coloring, or doing some sewing.

 Maybe I will even bake cookies for J. He's been so patient and supportive as I work through my grief and worry and stresses. Food is not supposed to be a "reward", but sometimes it just is.

Tuesday

Two things happened this week so far.

One: J's most expensive medication Pradaxa needed a refill. He called the pharmacy, ordered the refill, and  was told the rx was in and waiting for him, and the cost was $460.  Gulp. Normally with his insurance it's about $56 monthly. Something happened this month with the insurance  coverage, some glitch or donut hole again, and he was going to have no drug coverage. 

However! The pharmacist told him about a financial assistance program run by the manufacturer. Each pt gets one month free coverage per year for this drug...and so J chose this month, of course.  So after all the paperwork was filled out, sure enough it was free.

You can bet we will be sticking with this pharmacy. It was an amazing blessing. Next month his insurance will cover all this.

The other thing that happened was that my sonN's gf slash mother of his youngest child sent me a private message on Facebook. She  basically asked me for help. She asked what to do about SonN and sonJ's excessive drinking, asked if I thought it would help for her to kick sonJ out,  or to try to have a "sober house", as she called it.  She said she and the baby had moved out of their shared bedroom, and were in a room of their own, waiting to hear from me.

Wow.

 I didn't get this message until later in the day, and I wrote back that I was so sorry to hear of this, that I hoped both boys had been honest with her from the start about their drinking problems and about their multiple times in rehab. I wrote that they had been struggling with drugs and alcohol since the age of 12, and that I hadn't found anything to help except AlAnon.  I wrote that she is going to need a lot of help and support, and that's what I found there in the rooms of Al Anon. I wrote that a sober house is a great idea, but that alcohol will win every time until the drinker decides to quit. I told her she could call me anytime, and gave her my number.

  I have so much sympathy, empathy, sorrow, grief,  sadness. I so wish there was something I could do. It is heart-breaking, especially with small children involved.  I don't know what will happen of course, but I pray for my sons, and my daughter, and my grandchildren every single day. I'm grateful to be so far away---and I feel utterly selfish saying that, too. I'm grateful I'm not closer to them and therefore not even remotely tempted to stick my nose in and "help". It's far easier to accept my powerlessness over the situation when it's not right in my face.

So hard to be a mother sometimes. There is so much grief. I wonder what my lesson is here.

Sunday

Well, that chicken dish J was making turned out wonderfully!  We'll definitely have that again--it was simple and tasty, and the leftover chicken went in my salad for lunch the next day.

The first three days of the week were very hard at work. I can't remember now whether that Monday was the day we were told that Coworker was going to come in later than usual because she was going to meet with HR first. Actually yes, it must have been Monday, because RN and I were wondering how we'd manage the day rooming two providers' patients with just us two.

But just as the PA's first pt was checking in, he came bursting out of his office with a panicked look on his face, and announced he had an emergency at home and had to leave. He called out that he would try to come back if he could, but he just didn't know the emergency yet.  And he rushed out.

We were stunned and also relieved. Not a great way to start the day, and yet it made the day easier, kind of. So then we did manage between us the first few patients, after the PA's patients were all contacted and rescheduled.

We had been told Coworker would be in around 9-ish.  At 10:30 she strolled in. And didn't speak to anyone, or acknowledge us in any way. She sat down and immediately started searching the job postings in our company. Then she started packing up the stuff she'd left. Not working or helping us.

Eventually I got up the courage (and time) to say, Hey, what's going on? Aren't you going to talk to us? She looked at me and said "I have nothing to say to you. I said how I felt last Friday, and nothing's changed. You expect it to be just like it was before, but that ain't never going to happen, you guys let me down big time."  Then she went back to what she was doing. Cold.

At some point the PA came back to the office and didn't share with us what had happened. But as soon as the Boss-Doc realized he was back, she marched right to him and said, "Go home.  We rescheduled your patients, and I don't need you here today."  Yes, she was quite rude. So the poor guy left.  He was back the next day, and for the rest of the week, but has confided in me that he is now looking to find a different position within the company too. This isn't the first time she's been rude, either to him, or to Coworker,

Well.  It was like that with Co-worker for two more days. Hard to believe now, that we somehow got through those awkward days, but we did. Several of us took anti-anxiety meds to get through, because it was so damn uncomfortable. RN and I would text each other at night, talking about how to deal with it.

On Wednesday I started going to the gym after work , and while it felt good to start up again, it was very hard on my hips. That day I did the treadmill and the next day I did the recumbent bike.  Then I took a break.

Thursday, Coworker had begun thawing a little bit. She spoke to me calmly a couple of times when I asked a direct question on how to do something.  By Friday she confided she wanted to be assigned to work with me and DrI on those days, instead of with RN and DrD as had been the case all along. That involved checking with our manager, so she sent an email.  She is now waiting to hear back.

When she was out to lunch, DrD told me and RN privately that Coworker had filed an official complaint against her. (This probably explains why Coworker is having trouble finding another position to transfer to within the company:  no one wants to take the chance on her doing the same thing in their office, to their own provider. She has shot herself in the foot...)

 Friday night I made the trip to my sister's house right after I left work, to feed the kitties while she was out of town.  I had thought about walking on the beach while I was there, but forgot to bring clothes to change into, so ended up not doing that.

At home two things had happened that day. One, Fiona had her grooming appt, and got something called a bikini cut--for cats. Umm, okay. What she looks like is ridiculous! Poor thing. She has no more mats, true, but the amount of fur that was shaved off was tremendous. From the waist area down, she has none left, except on her tail and the area around her paws.  Well, she has some fur--she wasn't shaved down to the skin, quite, but pretty darn close. She apparently got her nails clipped too--a huge relief.

 The second thing was that B (J's daughter) arrived, bringing her 7 yr old grandson.  This is Sunday, and they are leaving later today after dinner. So, a thankfully short visit; still, it's intense having two people here 24/7. It gets easier each time,  and thankfully the weather  has been great: low 70s, sunny, gorgeous blue skies.

She keeps the kiddo busy, and he's actually been in the pool a lot!  Kids...fearless.  We took them to a park nearby which has a lot of bird and duck wildlife, and walked the area trails. That was a good time. The dogs loved it too.

It's been a pretty low key visit, a low key weekend. Saturday morning I went to my meeting as usual, after going back to my sister's house again to feed the kitties their breakfast. Then back at home and we didn't really do too much. Lots of time sitting by the pool, keeping the kiddo occupied. At night after dinner we watched Bambi.

The rest of the money from the Oregon Credit Union finally arrived yesterday; with it we will pay the two final bills from there, the water bill and the electric bill. Then we'll put gas in the car, and we should make it until payday. 

I went to the Pilates class this morning, and am now home. A lazy afternoon ahead. Then Sis and BIL will come over later for a potluck dinner before B and the kiddo leave.

Peaceful...

Sunday

So, a mixed week. Shorter, but extremely intense. I'm worn out.

Monday I was off work, due to the holiday. In the afternoon we went out to pick up some wine at the wine store. (Here in Fl, there are two chains which provide only alcoholic beverages. I've learned never to buy my wine at Walmart or Target, for instance; there is nothing like our former food shopping places here, so we buy most groceries at Walmart or Target.  Up until recently I bought the wine there too. But Sis and Bro have opened my eyes. Total Wine and ABC Wine are gigantic stores with great prices. Walmart price for my preferred brand is $11-13 depending on their whim; TW has the exact same thing for $7.97. ABC which is slightly closer to us charges $8.08. Same bottle.)

Anyway we went there, picked up 3 bottles,  and went back out to the car. Which then refused to start. We had just done a few errands, and stopped it and restarted, etc. This time nothing. Long story short, the 24-hour roadside assistance came to us an hour later and jumped it, we drove home and J spent the evening charging it from the truck. Next morning he took me to work, and then dropped off the car at the shop, walking home. Fortunately we don't live far from it.

A few hours later he texted me that it was the alternator.  $415 later, everything is fixed, and they threw in an oil change.  Amazing how quickly we can go from "Hallelujah, we are almost all paid off!" To, "Holy crap, I'm glad we had some cash..."

Tuesday I went to work and discovered not only were we dealing with the PA now having his own patients (which we were expected to room, along with whichever doc was working that day), and the fact that we had one less exam room (because the pain therapist/psychologist--who is required to see all our narcotic patients-- moved into our office and took that exam room); not only were we dealing with an extra provider and one less room--but coworker E was ill, and not expected back until Thursday.  HOLY S**T. 

So, RN and I ran our butts off all day. There was no down time. In fact, we stayed overtime 15 minutes, which normally is not allowed. There was just not enough time....  Wednesday was a repeat of that day from hell,  except for the fact that the manager did find us a float person for part of the day. That did help.

At the end of the day we were told (by the boss DrD) that coworker E would be "assigned" to work with the PA rooming his patients, same as how I work with DrI, and RN works with DrD.  She was also to deal with tasks and phone calls and help us, as needed, because she would have more free time than us; the PA was "only" to be seeing 4-8 patients per day. RN texted her all  this info Wednesday night so that she would be prepared on her return. 

Thursday when she came in, it was clear she was very unhappy with the new plan, and determined to be the Victim, pointing out how unfair it all was. RN and I just looked at each other and tried to be sympathetic, as it was obvious she was still ill enough that she should have stayed home.  She complained and pouted and bitched to all throughout the day. Friday morning, it all blew up.

I'm not going to recount the morning in all the detail. Suffice to say that in front of patients and staff,  Coworker and DrD had loud words of dissent, both of them being rude and unprofessional to each other. Escalating, and ending with DrD demanding that Coworker come to her office right now. Coworker said loudly Are you kidding me?! And she marched right out of the office, straight to our manager.  RN and I were frozen in position: unable to not listen because we were both working right there.

The rest of the morning was awkward, to say the least. Friday both docs are in, and we are frantically busy anyway.  Coworker was obviously not around to help, and  when she did finally return she was furious-- at me and RN! Saying to us that we didn't have her back, that she felt we weren't on the same team, that we should have dropped everything to help her during that horrendous scene, and that RN was a "good nurse, but a timid shadow" who was "whipped by that doc", and that she, Coworker, had lost a lot of respect for her.  There was a lot more.

RN and I were stunned.  I told Coworker I couldn't even respond at that point, and that I'd have to think about what she was saying. Privately I was angry and frustrated that she was throwing a stupid, drama-filled hissy fit in the middle of a damn busy day, and that she expected us to take her side on top of that. I thought she was completely in the wrong. But I didn't have the nerve to say that to her. Plus, I thought it was not my business, unless I was asked. And no one had asked me.

Well, it all ended with Coworker packing up her things from her desk, and being told to go home for the rest of the day, with pay.  Coworker smugly said to me, This proves I'm in the right, otherwise they'd send me home with no pay. I said to her, Well, I don't know what they have to do... legally.

I don't know if she will be back on Monday. When I asked her, watching as she was packing up, she just smiled at me slyly and said, "I won't work in a hostile environment, so I don't know what to tell you."   Then  she walked out with all her things.

RN and I, along with the two front office staff, were asked to write up our versions of what we had witnessed, what had happened, and send them to the manager. When I'd sent mine, Manager emailed me back that these were now going to HR. Jeez.

We all finished out the day, talking of nothing else. The two RNs in the back help us with patients on Fridays while also preparing for the following week's patients, and we all talked about this in various combinations. I was relieved that we all felt the same way: that she had been the one to create this blow-up, that she was in the wrong to be so rude, that she'd been unhappy there for a long time and wasn't shy at all about saying so; it was all so dramatic of her.

We do all believe if she is that unhappy, she is better off not there in that office. And yet!  That leaves RN and me doing everything that it normally takes 3 people to do, and they had added another provider to the mix--we all feel that alone is insane, especially since we had one less exam room.

I don't know what will happen, but I hope to god they decide to rethink giving the PA his own schedule at this point. We need another MA first, and that worries me;  partly because the RNs in the back have been working short-handed since last August, and yet somehow the company cannot find a replacement. The two RNs are both utterly exhausted, and frustrated, and on the verge of burnout trying to cope with their jobs short-handed. I don't want that to happen now to RN and me. Neither one of us wants to --or is able to financially-- leave our jobs, but neither one of us wants to work seeing that many patients with the amount of work we have to do in preparation.

Friday night when we all left the office, for the first time both the back RNs, me and RN, and the front office person all walked out to the cars together,  talking about weekend plans. This has never happened before. It was like we were all reassuring each other we can get through this. 

Friday night I called my old credit union back in OR to find out what the holdup was on the check they were sending to close out my account there. Turns out there was a particular form they should have sent me, and they hadn't, and the person working on my account had "forgotten about it". Their words. No apology, no other explanation. Just the facts: she forgot about it. So she re-emailed me the form, I e-signed and returned, and she promised to send a cashier's check that day. We'll see.  This time I won't wait the 30 days they had said it would take the first time. If it's not here by Friday, I'm calling again.

Saturday we awoke to rain and thunder and lightning-- a lot of it!  I did go to my meeting, and then J and I drove to do our errands, grocery shopping. I'd gotten paid the day before so we had done our "financial analysis", and paid another bill off entirely.

Then home and stayed inside; enjoying the rain and wind and much cooler weather. We watched a James Bond movie we hadn't seen in a long time.   This morning I woke to discover much, much colder weather--36 degrees!... and I had  stomach problems. Ugh. So I didn't go to Pilates. Instead we sat in the kitchen, with the fire going, and enjoyed the warmth.

Later today we went to Petco to the vaccination clinic, and got Murphy and Fiona up to date on their rabies shots. Missy isn't due until January 2018, so that helped with the costs. Once we have those rabies certificates we can license the animals here in DB.

And then I stopped by the gym across the street from our subdivision, and got registered. I have a free membership through my work, so all I do now is stop by--probably on my way home from work--and  take advantage. Since I can't swim until it's warmer, I need to find something else to do.  Something physical. I'll get a quick tour of the place tomorrow, and hopefully there'll be a rowing machine, and some recumbent bikes. I saw lots of treadmills, and weights. J will join too when his insurance changes.

One other thing I learned is that a friend's husband passed away. I hadn't seen them in many years. Still, it's always a shock to hear of a death. He was in his 80s, and had been struggling with a lung condition.  Sad...

Almost 5 pm. Time to wrap this up. Dinner tonight is parmesan paprika chicken, and broccoli. The recipe looks fairly simple.  Yummy! 

Sunday, January1, 2017

Hard to believe it's 2017 already. (I clearly remember when it was 2000 for the first time, and thinking that someday 2015, and 2020, and 2045 would all sound "normal". There was debate over whether to say the dates as Twenty Seventeen, or Two thousand Seventeen. I say the former. After all, we never said One thousand nine hundred and sixty seven, for instance.)

Still. I took the tree down today, and the outside lights and decorations,  and the inside things, packed them all away. I've cleaned up, swept, done the cat boxes. Later today we will re-arrange the living room again, in that never ending quest for the perfect arrangement.

J meanwhile drove all the way to ...somewhere... 45 minutes one way, to buy our favorite pizza. Papa Murphy's has finally migrated East, and there are three in this state now. This was our most excellent pizza back in Oregon, and the one thing we really missed after moving here. It's the best take- and-bake you can find.  Funny. Anyway, he drove there and picked up three, and then drove back home.  We've frozen two of them, and will have one tonight for dinner, after which we will watch Star Wars, in a tribute to Carrie Fisher. (Tomorrow we will watch Singin' in the Rain, in a tribute to Debbie Reynolds. He doesn't know that though...)

Friday the check from the insurance company finally arrived.   J rushed it to the bank, and when it finally was credited to our account yesterday, Saturday morning, we sat down and paid off three credit cards, the ones with the largest balances. That felt so good! We have been struggling to figure out how to do this, and finally had accepted that it was just going to take a few years.

But once we realized the insurance settlement wasn't going to be enough to fix the pool enclosure anyway,  it was a no-brainer to decide to put that check towards the debt accrued after we moved here.  So this blasted hurricane turned out to be  a blessing in disguise, in that we got some cash as compensation for damages.

J and BIL feel they can put up some kind of covering, and that will do just fine. Meanwhile, we owe about $900 more on the remaining two credit cards, and then we work on paying back my Sis. She has been so patient, and we have been so appreciative. Granted, they are in a different financial state than we are, but it's felt so awkward to not be able to pay her yet. Soon we will be out of debt entirely. What a relief, what sheer relief.

Yesterday after doing the bills, and after my meeting, we did last minute food shopping, and also finally bought a vacuum cleaner. This is something we have been putting off ever since we moved here in March, thinking we just would sweep the tile floors. But now that we have two large rugs and some smaller ones, it definitely is a necessary expense. J assembled it today while I was at Pilates and did a test run. Amazing what a difference a vacuum makes.

We also bought a battery operated motion detector light for outside the work room door to the driveway. He will install that tomorrow also, and that will be a big relief. Getting home after dark happens often enough that I will feel a lot better about walking up a lighted driveway. Progress.

Friday was my department's Christmas lunch and party. Lettuce wraps were provided as the main lunch event, with salad. And a few of us brought in side dishes. Then we were all occupied with opening our stockings--these were filled over the past several weeks anonymously by co-workers, and most items were very inexpensive, and unwrapped. Someone was paying attention to conversations we've had in the past, as I got two maple sugar candies! 

Other things we got were tubes of body cream or lotion, or little candy bars, or glitter nail polish, or shimmery eye shadow, candles, lip gloss--things you can commonly find in the Dollar Store. I'd found some inexpensive but well-made holiday earrings at Kohl's, and used my rewards card there to pay for these. Then I wrapped them up, and divided them between my four closest co-workers. As I heard the others opening their stockings I heard  people exclaiming over them, and then wearing them!  So that made me feel good. One co-worker gave me  a bottle of champagne. Another one gave me a jade plant.  My doc gave me a gorgeous tall candle, and gift cards to both Bed Bath & Beyond, and Target. Very nice of him...

This week in particular I feel he and I have reached a new level of comfort. He jokes with me more, and shares details of his personal life. At one point he and I were talking about something, and then he walked a few steps to say something to another coworker; and RN said to me in a low wistful tone, "You're so lucky to be working with him!"  RN works with the other doc, who is a lot less relaxed, a  lot more formal, a lot more ...Type A. I smiled back at her, and whispered, "I was just thinking that myself. I feel so blessed!" He is so respectful, and interested in my views of a patient, or whatever it is we are talking about.

In other news, J's Cuisinart is one which has been recalled, so he called them and a replacement set of blades is being shipped. Scary to think these could have had disastrous consequences all along. Kind of like the Honda and its airbag issue.

He gave both dogs baths this week, and that's hard for him now, with his wrist issues . Suddenly we are noticing them doing a lot more scratching, and cannot figure out what is causing it. There are no fleas, and anyway they get Comfortis monthly; we've given them the same food for months so no changes there. We are wondering if they are being bothered by the gnats or no-see-ums just like we are. I've resorted to giving them half a Benadryl tablet 2-3 times a day so they can get some relief. Yesterday we did buy a different brand of dog food, and will try them on that just in case they have developed an allergy to the previous stuff.  It's hard to listen to them and watch them scratching endlessly. It's hard when the damn no-see-ums have attacked me; my skin swells up and it just makes me crazy to be scratching so hard. It's days before each bite finally calms down.

The past two days have been much cooler, and we've had to use had a nice fire in the fireplace in the mornings. It's so cozy. J gets colder anyway, being on blood thinners, so he feels the temperature change quite a bit sooner than me.

Yesterday morning, Saturday, I woke early with a bad headache, and took a Fiorecet right away after two hours, having expected that it would fade any time.... Three hours later I took another one.  By the end of my meeting at 11am, I was not noticing any difference. At that point I can either give up on the day and just sit. Or I can proceed with the day, as long as I'm not actually nauseated. So that was what I did. Proceed. We did our shopping and driving around and errands, on the last day of the year.

Later I tried to nap and couldn't.  At five-ish, we got our stuff together and drove to Sis' house. We left the dogs at home this time, since we didn't want them racing around their back yard collecting burrs again--those things are a serious pain to remove.

Bro and SIL joined us there, and once again we all had a wonderful time. Sis made red beans and rice, and crab-ish cakes (vegan), and (vegan) sausage, and  there was salad, and cornbread, and a delicacy my Aunt Mary used to make, cherry soup. Sis made this, and although it wasn't like I remembered, it was yummy just the same. So flavorful, and what a treat! 

We ate outside by the fire, and there was champagne, and wine, and mead made from honey.  BIL's daughter was there too, also without her dogs.  Sis had us all write down the things we wanted to literally burn in the fire, regarding anything that had happened in 2016, or frankly anything that we were ready to let go of.  That was a great exercise. Loved writing down the grief and frustration and despair and sadness, and then burning it all. A symbolic cleansing.

J and I left around 8:30, and were home in bed by 9:30. And were woken at midnight by fireworks! Apparently our new neighborhood really does it up big time...dogs were scared but didn't set off barking, thankfully.

This week Fiona goes to the groomer, where they swear they can remove the mats from a cat without using anesthesia. We'll see. Hope it doesn't traumatize her.  Next weekend we take all three animals for their rabies vaccine, and then we can get them all licensed here. I have to figure out how to find the microchip website so I can update their addresses. And then next month we register the car and truck here in Fl. Then we get our licenses updated too, and we will finally be official residents. This should all be completed by March, and that coincides with the anniversary of our arrival here. What a difference a year makes.

Here's a couple of updated photos...