Sunday

WE GOT THE HOUSE.

I can't believe after 7 long weeks the waiting is over.  On Wednesday afternoon, before Thanksgiving, we got  an email notifying us the seller's bank will not negotiate at all, so they wondered if we would pay their asking price. Our realtor said "Think about it and let me know."  Well, we've been nothing but thinking about it for all these weeks. And so when J called me at work and asked me this question, I said, YES! We want that house. So he emailed the realtor, and she emailed me back at work an addendum with the new bid; I electronically signed it, and returned it.

Technically I guess we haven't officially gotten the house, because we still need to arrange the financing. But our credit, my credit, is excellent, and we had been pre-approved way back in September when J first went to Florida to look. That of course has expired, so we start all over again, which shouldn't take long. We will contact a few banks there to see which offer will be best, and then we should close by Jan 15, according to the realtor.

The bad news: since they rejected our original lower offer --which we made to cover the cost of the needed repairs to the house and pool-- J broke the news to me that since we sure as hell don't have an extra $10K sitting around, somehow the extra money will need to be obtained.  I promptly had a meltdown. This was all on Thanksgiving Eve, as we were celebrating and discussing. It came down to the option, the only option, which was to take that amount from the IRA.

Now, I feel very insecure as it is, knowing I have so little saved for retirement. It was a huge struggle for me mentally to get to be okay with taking the original amount out for the down payment.  So to consider the unpleasant reality of taking more out was really scaring me. I was in tears. (Well, the only other option would be to sell the jewelry I have in reserve, which would possibly give me $8K altogether. Leaving me with absolutely nothing for the future, or in case of emergency.)

Just a few short months ago I was okay with using part of the IRA for the down payment because if J dies before me, I would have been receiving the life insurance, which would certainly either pay off whatever mortgage I had left, or give me a solid cushion  for retirement.   But since we had to drop the insurance, I now have nothing coming to me when/if he dies. I will have this house here which has a reverse mortgage on it. Depending on the market, I might get enough from a sale to give me as much as $30-40K after the mortgage is paid back. Not a lot.

So I wrote my dad. I asked him for a fresh set of eyes, a new perspective. I know he and J have both bought and sold a lot of houses in their lifetimes, and despite J's best efforts, I just was not understanding the "benefit" of transferring cash from the IRA to the repairs on a house I was buying. I was hoping he would be able to explain it in simple terms, and that would enable me to be okay with it.

After I wrote that, I went to bed, and slept for a few hours before waking around 2. I lay there pondering, and eventually was able to mentally shrug and resign myself to taking the chance of removing more cash, and then trusting to Fate to allow me to somehow regain those losses. I don't know how; maybe I will win the lottery! (I don't play, but whatever...miracles happen, right?)  I was awake until around 4:30.  When I did get up, good Lord was it cold! It has been bitterly cold, in the low 20s at night, since Tuesday night. Thank God for electric blankets.

 I got up and showered, and sat down to read email.  There was an understanding email from my Dad. I don't know how to describe the emotions that came over me as I read his words. He not only understood my despair, but he suggested an option I had never in my wildest imagination considered, that of gifting me the money, as a sort of advance on what will be an inheritance.  I burst into tears again, much to J's shock and concern.  I couldn't even speak, but just had him read the email. He sat there with me, with tears in his eyes, and shaking his head over the answer to the fears and prayers.  Both of us are so...humbled, so blessed.

I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted. Even now, 4 days later, I'm in tears writing this.  My words of gratitude feel so inadequate. I just am so...speechless. What an amazing amazing gift my father is to me.

If the closing does happen Jan 15, then he will send the money then, and my sister will be able to oversee the repairs, and cleaning, and whatever else has to be done before we can move in. We plan on leaving here Feb 22. My two year anniversary at work is Feb 17, a Wednesday, so I will give my two weeks' notice and plan on Feb 19 as my last day. Then we will finish the packing up of our last minute things over the weekend, and head out on Monday. That will give us each 2 more paychecks, and more of a base to finance the trip across. My pay periods are from the 21st of each month to the 20th of the next month, so this will work out perfectly.


The rest of the long week and holiday seem anti-climactic after this news!   My beloved little netbook/ laptop is about 7 years old, and is finally giving up the ghost. So I bit the bullet. I researched the tech guru sites, for the best reviews for what I needed,  and found a certified refurbished HP, for less than $200, which will be arriving this week. I also bought a 2 year warranty for it just in case... I'm excited for this new arrival.

J got paid the day before Thanksgiving so we sat down and did our bills Friday morning; I get paid tomorrow and so we will finish that process tomorrow night. This coming week the sewer people arrive to drain the septic tank. It's been 4 years already since he installed this new one, and he doesn't want to leave anything to chance after we leave.

Also this coming week he has a dentist appt for fixing two small cavities, and I have a vision exam; we are trying to get all health issues taken care of before it all changes after Jan 1. The following week I will see my own doc, and hopefully all my dietary changes will reflect in my improved labs.  And my dentist appt is also on the horizon.

Friday afternoon J and I went out to a movie!  We haven't been out to one since May, so this was exciting. We saw the new James Bond movie. Loved. It. I really really like Daniel Craig as Bond.

J had the two new-to-us tires put on my Honda, and that does help. We will be selling it shortly, so need to get that in order too. Sigh. I sure hate to give it up. But I think I have a buyer already--my good friend in AlAnon has a son who is looking for a good used car...

That saved me from figuring out what to say to my one son, who texted me yesterday asking if he could buy it and make payments. My instinctive first response was Oh Hell No. I can't, don't, trust him to make payments, sad as that is to say. Plus there's the little detail of him not having a license. He needs to get that straightened out, and pay any fines he needs to, and then be on a regular job for at least 6 months. But with my friend being a very strong buyer, I have that excuse...because that would be an awkward conversation.

Yesterday MissS and I drove up to Portland in the afternoon to visit with my smallest granddaughter, Layla. What an utterly completely enchanting child she is!  She is two now, and so tiny, and yet has changed so much since March. She speaks now, very softly: minding her manners, asking for bites, ride the swing or the "side". I could go on, but I won't. MissS took lots of photos, and I only got a few myself, but we did both get hugs this time, and she allowed each of us to hold her briefly. We went to a nearby playground in the park, and us 3 adults followed her outside in the bitter cold, probably not even 40 degrees. She enjoyed the swings, and the slide, and toddling around with another little girl (oddly almost the exact same age, and her name was Leela).  When it began to get dark, we drove to find an indoor place to warm up and found a Starbucks, where MissS treated us to hot drinks and a cup of fruit for Layla.

All too soon it was full dark, and time for us to go. She loved the RaggedyAnn doll, and the stuffed horse, and MissS also bought her two early readers. Layla is being taught to love books--I'm so impressed with her mom. Really like her a lot. For a 21 year old, she is very mature. I don't know when I will see them again, but MissS surely will....

Now here it is Sunday again. Despite having 4 days off in a row, it feels like it all flew by.Wonderful to have so much unstructured time.

Today J will wash the dogs, and then we are not doing much else. We've been so busy, and today is our day of rest. It's blindingly sunny outside, but the cold is daunting. I'm so looking forward to not being cold anymore. Now we can literally count the days, instead of not knowing when the move was going to happen.

Sunday

This morning I met up with two friends, and Golden Retriever named Tucker. It was 9am, and cold! 31 degrees, frosty, and the outside water bowl for the dogs was frozen. Very cold!  But we were all bundled up, and it was sunny, and we hadn't seen each other for several weeks so there was a lot to catch up on. We did a couple of miles, chattering all the way.

Back home, J had completed the prep for the turkey and bean chili, which provided lunch and a couple of other meals this week. I went outside and raked a lot of leaf piles, and tried to clean up outside, while J did the inside of the house, and also finished up some outside work on the back deck. He is teaching MissS about home maintenance, and preparations for winter.

Lunch was different: my son Jason drove up with his gf and her 2year old son (also named Jason.) I was anxious about it, but it went well. Jason was very happy to see me, and kept giving me hugs, and telling me he loved me. He is clearly interested in the upcoming move, and had questions.  He tried harder to keep a conversation going. The gf seems nice enough, seems to be a great mom, very patient. She is working full-time, planning on returning to school. Jason is working  about 35 hours a week, so that's good. I'm just now realizing we forgot to get pictures.

Yesterday after my meeting MissS and I did some errands, running around to several different places. We stopped at Goodwill and got her a safety vest for walking in the dark; this is a vest that lights up when car headlights sweep over it. No mistaking her for anything other than a person walking on the road in the dark! We also found a stuffed unicorn, and a Raggedy Ann doll, which we will wrap and bring to Portland on Saturday when we drive up to see my third little granddaughter. MissS  seemed a bit low, but I think it's the depression rearing its ugly head. Later she drove down to visit a friend, and to give me and J some privacy for the evening.

I had warned her that Jason and his gf were coming for lunch on Sunday, so she could make plans to be elsewhere.  But this morning, she surprised both of us: she said that she would come back here after her shift at the church, and then work outside for a while, before coming inside and then retiring upstairs to her room. I was so impressed at her courage, and so was J. That must have taken a lot of effort. But that's exactly what happened: all through this, neither she or Jason spoke to each other, or looked at each other, that I could see. Still, this was a big step.

No news on the house. Nada. So hard to wait. Each week our Realtor says, "Maybe next week we'll hear! Keep the faith!"

On Monday when we weighed, I had lost 1 more pound, for a total of 9 pounds lost  in the past 28 days. We voted to keep it going for another 28 days, and I think we will definitely tweak that a bit to deal with Thanksgiving. It will just be us 3, and we'll have turkey breast, and sweet potatoes, and some kind of veggie, and I don't know what we'll do for a healthy dessert. Technically we are only supposed to have protein and veggies on that day. But I refuse to not allow for transgressions, occasionally!

After that second cycle, no matter what weight we are, we will resume a normal eating plan, but it will be a lot more healthy. Now that we've worked so hard to cleanse our bodies of the bad stuff, I'm not going to go back to the old way. I'm very curious as to what effect this eating plan has had on my labs, so I have an appt scheduled with my own doc to check my labs, and review my meds. I have been dealing with high cholesterol for a few years, not terribly  high, but enough that I've been encouraged to make dietary changes to see if that will help. I had resisted giving up cheese or wine or certain other "bad foods", but since I've done this now I might as well have the labs drawn. I'll also notify her I am moving at some point soon, and hopefully she will help me get 90day supplies of all my meds.

Because... our health insurance changes as of the beginning of the year, and it is a drastic change. No more co-pays. I, the employee, am responsible for the first $3000 of medical expenses for the year, including labs, meds, office visits, tests, whatever, and after that deductible is met the company pays for 80%  of the rest. It's a huge change. Hopefully I won't be needing it for long; hopefully we will be on our way to Florida in early January, and then hopefully it won't take too long to find new employment. I won't be able to afford the Cobra coverage, but will apply for the ACA when we arrive.

So after this second cycle of 28 days, we will be less stringent on our meals, but I have a better idea of portion control now, and other healthier alternatives. I will be wanting more vegetarian meals, and fewer pre-packaged stuffs. This way of eating is much more expensive. We will be on a strict budget for the first months in Fl, unable to continue this eating plan. We all have worked so hard. I don't want to lose ground.

It's 4:30, and the sun is rapidly going down. Only got up to 40 degrees today; the chickens are sitting all bundled and fluffy on their roosts outside, not willing to go inside yet. This year we did not hook up a light inside their coop  to encourage more laying; but J will be setting up a heat lamp, I think. It feels colder, earlier this year.

Weekend flew by. Glad we have a short week ahead, only Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

Sunday

I did not make it to work last Monday. Woke up long enough to call in, and then fell right back asleep, completely forgetting to text my provider to let her know too. Fortunately she understood I was feeling awful, and that was a huge relief.

I did head back Tuesday, sounding awful but feeling well enough to make it. By Friday I was feeling  much better.  I hadn't heard from my friend though. She and I were scheduled to drive up to P'land on Saturday afternoon for a book signing, but it turned out we didn't go. She had gotten the same crud I had just gotten over. I am still dealing with the deep nagging chest cough, but otherwise I feel good.

In house news, on Friday we got an email from our Realtor: she had spoken with the seller's agent, and he sounded quite hopeful. The bank apparently has turned down two previous offers because they weren't submitting a high enough bid. So the fact that they are still "in review" with ours is a good thing. Realtor says we should feel pretty good. And that we should know something this coming week.

I agree it does sound good. I'm superstitious though, and am not counting on anything. J will start a conversation about anything related to the house: "I think we should paint the outside as soon as possible--that yellow is a hideous color..." and I will shush him quickly: "We can't even discuss this! We don't have the place, and we haven't seen it! Let's just wait and see..."   This happens over and over. I feel like a killjoy, but I honestly cannot even make any plans.

In other news, we are completing the first 28 days on the new eating plan. Tomorrow we weigh in. And then we will continue for another 28 days.

Last Monday I was sick, but J wanted me to weigh in on the home scale. He brought the scale to me as I lay in bed, and insisted  encouraged me to step on. I couldn't see it because I didn't have my contacts in. So he looked, and according to that scale I had lost 9 pounds. In two weeks. That was ridiculous.  Later I showered and dressed and after my contacts were in, I weighed myself. I had to re-zero the scale, and when I did, I saw a loss of 6 pounds. A little more realistic, but I was still not sure.

The first two weeks I'd weighed at work on the digital scale. So at work Tuesday first thing I got on that scale, and saw a loss of 4 pounds.  That felt more possible, more realistic. This makes a total of 8 pounds in three weeks. Not as dramatic as I had hoped, but hey, I'll take it. It's far better than weight watchers. It's also much healthier.

Meanwhile J has lost 15, and MissS has lost 11.  So tomorrow we will weigh for the fourth time, and do the measuring tape thing too. The book says measurements will be more visible proof that this is making a difference. I don't know, I am not feeling my clothes fitting any differently. This just means--to me anyway-- that I need to continue. It is working, no question. It's just expensive both in financial costs and time. Thank goodness for MissS's generosity with donating her food stamps to this shared cause! And thank goodness J is willing to take over all the prep and cooking and packing our lunches.

His clothes are just falling off of him. Losing that 15 pounds made a huge difference--it all came off his front, off his belly. MissS referred to him once as a string bean, and it's true that the weight loss is quite noticeable on him. He looks great. I think MissS and I have more to lose, and so it's not as noticeable on us yet. But we are seeing  a lot of progress.  We've both had just a couple of transgressions, but got right back on track by the next meal.

The doc who introduced me to this has been so helpful, so interested! She joined me again for lunch on Thursday in the break room, and we compared notes. (This is the same doc who had angrily told my previous provider to stop seeing certain of her, the doc's, patients, and then never spoke to or looked at her again, ever.  Refused to. Treated me  the same, but completely ignored my then-provider. Awkward....) So I'm continually surprised at our relationship at work, a bit hesitant to trust her, but then she has been perfectly fine with me.

Her MA told me confidentially that since starting this plan, the doc's wild mood swings have all but stopped, and that she is calmer and less likely to "go off". This plan requires giving up all caffeine and wine, chocolate, sugar, wheat, corn, and certain high-sugar fruits like grapes and bananas.  It's a huge change. It seems this plan can have drastic effects on the body and mind!  (After we have completed the 28 days, that period of time has theoretically healed the metabolism, and we can resume "normal" eating, gradually. But if one hasn't reached their goal weight, we just do another cycle. The doc is on the end of her second cycle. I'll be starting my second. She's been so encouraging.

This week J took the Honda also back to the dealer for another alignment after explaining to them that the rotors and bearings had also just been fixed. They didn't charge him again, which was nice. However, the car is now pulling to the left a bit, instead of the right. J was told our tires were shot...so he found an inexpensive pair and next payday we'll have those put on the back of the car.

On the plus side, driving it with the brand new window tinting on the back (and on the side where the window had fallen into the door slot)--what a difference it makes! Thank goodness I keep paperwork-- this was all free, because I got it done with a lifetime warranty 10 years ago.  There are a couple of small dings and a couple of scratches in the finish, but overall it looks pretty darn good for a 10year old car with 165K miles. I think we should be able to get approximately $3K for it when the tires are replaced. I hate that we have to get rid of it...but there is no way to get it to Florida.

This week also J was working on the preparations to have the bathroom tile re-grouted. J's youngest son Z now works for a tile-setter here in town, and is earning good money hand-over-fist. So J supplied the replacement tiles and Z came over yesterday morning to re-grout the bathroom;  he also insisted on re-doing the front entryway where there is tile. Both areas look so much better!  And, it didn't take him very long at all.

And he also went and bought a large dog crate off of craigslist. This size just fits behind the seats in the truck. With a thick pad on the bottom, this is where the dogs will spend their days on the road when we make the big trip. Feels good to have that done. One more thing.

For my part, after my meeting yesterday, I went and had my bangs trimmed. Back home, MissS and I took the dogs for a long walk. She is fighting a cold, but she agreed to accompany me anyway. It was so nice to be outside, even if it was damp and windy. Back at home I went to the back door to remove my muddy jeans, and looked out into the creek just in time to see a beautiful wood duck paddling by. They are so pretty!  We usually do see them in the fall and winter, but this was my first sighting this season. 

Also the robins are back. Growing up back East I knew it was spring when the robins showed up. But out here, they arrive in November or early December, and they hang around until March or so. They spend the winter here, but I have no idea where they summer.

Yukky weather! Raining, dreary, 40 degrees. Trees are almost bare of leaves. We will run by Goodwill shortly  to drop off two bags of stuff we aren't taking with us, and stop by the Humane Society to drop off some dog food that neither dog will eat, and then do some food shopping. Other than that, we will be inside today, listening to the wood stove crackling and spending a quiet afternoon. MissS works at her church nursery this morning for a few hours and then she is home too.  J will wash and dry the dogs, and I will be spending some time with them grooming and clipping.  Maybe some coloring after that. Peaceful. TYG.

Sunday

I have been dealing with a sore throat since Wednesday, which as of today has progressed to a deep chest cold. I managed to make it to work the rest of the week using lozenges and increasing my water intake even more. We were finally done with the training on the new UDS machine at noon on Friday, and I was able to leave for the day. I went home and took a long nap, and have been parked on the sofa ever since.

I was supposed to drive down to my old town yesterday and get the window tinting repair taken care of, and also see my son. (He wanted to introduce me to his new gf, Erin. I've seen photos, but haven't met her.)  But I woke up Saturday feeling much worse, so J insisted I stay home. He did the driving down there and waited while it was all done, and then drove back in the pouring rain.  I was so touched, and thankful, and felt so blessed to have someone else take care of these things.  My son and I agreed to reschedule for the 21st.

It was a quiet week at work. Two days with six patients!  Oh boy! I'm being sarcastic, but that's the most we've had so far in one day. It's getting there; now that the UDS machine is available, we should have a lot more on the schedule. We are the only office that has one, so we get referrals from other places too.

There's been some talk that the hospital's management is looking to start their own incontinence clinic, which would be direct competition for us. But they need to hire two more urologists first, so it will be awhile. In the meantime, NP is being asked to consider driving over to the coast 1-2 days a month, beating the competition in providing urology services there.  Right now, all the coast patients drive here; this is at least an hour drive, and can sometimes take up to 90minutes depending on where on the coast they are coming from, and whether they get stuck in the construction, or behind an RV. Since there's only one two-lane road, it can vary wildly.

I don't know whether I'd be going over there with her too, or whether they would have her on her own. But if she was on her own, that would leave me available to help the docs in the office on those days. A little scary to consider: I like helping them, but I sure don't know all the procedures yet. I've been there 3 months already.

No word on the house. Our Realtor talked with the seller's agent, and the last info on Thursday was that it was "in review" at the bank still; she was asked to check in again next Thursday.

The only other excitement (for me anyway) was the arrival in the mail of 4 more LeeChild books. I love Amazon. I love that I can  buy a used paperback for one penny and just pay the $4 shipping. I think I now finally have all his books. I've been on a Reacher kick for my reading recently.

I'm feeling kind of low, so will cut this short. Don't know if I will make it to work tomorrow. I think I could make it if I push myself, but do I want to do that? That's always the hardest decision: I've learned if I push myself, sometimes that does backfire.

Well. Back to the sofa for me, with blankets and pillows and cough drops and TV.

Sunday

Last week was basically a repeat of the week before. Patients daily, ranging from one --that was a very long day-- to 5. It's slow building a practice. Good lord, is it slow.

Food was the same, although we are beginning to get that routine down. Wednesday and Thursday continue to be difficult, as we are only allowed certain proteins and veggies in specified portions. The portions aren't huge, but they are enough to take the hunger pangs off. Unlimited veggies--but again, only certain ones. The good news was we each lost weight! J lost 8 pounds, MissS 7, and I lost 4. I was thrilled. It was worth it. That kind of gave me enough encouragement to go on despite the feeling of frustration at the limited amounts. We are all drinking so much water that we joke about how often we are in the bathroom.

J's only trouble (besides the endless food prep, and the shock over how expensive in both time and money these homemade prepared foods are) is an increase in his "whirlies". This is the vertigo which seems to be worse in the morning. Sometimes it's bad enough that he needs to stop and just sit for awhile. I cannot imagine how awful that must be. He remains so cheerful and patient--the man is a saint.

But just yesterday morning I happened to notice that the most recent bottle of one of his BP meds has a large warning which states "May Cause Dizziness". Huh. I swear that wasn't  there before... He's decided if it continues he will need to contact the cardiologist and describe the worsening intolerance to this med, and get it changed.

Both dogs got baths this week, and the grooming which is a major job. I sometimes feel I'm taking off enough fur and mats to build another dog. But they look 100% better afterwards, and don't scratch nearly as much.  The cats thankfully do not seem to be having an itching problem. Sheba is now 17 years old, and other than the night yowling which hasn't happened as often recently she is fine. Fiona is now 9, and as beautiful and cranky as ever.  MissS' two are a lot of fun to watch: Tessie is 6 months old and a typical kitten all the way. Mao is 6 years old, sleeps a lot on our bed during the day. Very different than the kitten she started with; he has mellowed. Thankfully all are healthy. MissS is in the process of finding a low-cost spay clinic for the kitten.

Yesterday was our big day for work outside. After my meeting I came home to discover a life insurance rep was visiting with J; we are debating whether to buy $5000 worth for $80 a month. It doesn't seem worth it to me. The previous policy was $100K, for $58; and that's the one that jumped to $196 in January this year.  Would I like a higher amount? Yes, but $5000 wouldn't go very far, seriously.  Well, we're considering it.

Anyway after he left, we had our quick meal, and then headed outside. The rainstorm was projected to be bad, so we jumped in. MissS and J tackled the installation of the new inserts for the gutters, and got the whole thing done by 4. Then they had the energy to empty out the bed of the truck which was filled with cut oak, given to us by our neighbor.  MissS also did a lot of raking, and we dumped those piles over the bank onto the creek bank.

Meanwhile I cleaned out the chicken coop, and then did the rest of the raking. I got the brilliant idea to dump the raked leaves and yard duff (three barrels worth) into the chicken pen. The chickens absolutely loved it! Since we cannot allow them outside anymore, I feel so guilty knowing I am depriving them of that scratch time they live for. Seeing them jump onto that leaf pile with such delight and busy-ness made me feel great; I love hearing their happy clucking.

Right around 5 the rain started with a vengeance. It got pretty dark and windy. MissS is doing the wood fire  now, learning to build good long-lasting fires.So she jumped right on it again and went outside to bring in more wood. J had started the dinner of avocado /turkey /bean chile in the slow cooker at noon, so that was simmering. It was so nice to be inside and warm, listening to the rain.

After dinner and the news, we watched the newest JurassicPark movie. Kind of predictable, but hey, technology has gotten a lot better in the 20 years since the first one, and the dinosaurs were amazing to see. Very enjoyable and scary in a good way.

We had no trick or treaters, which was fine, because we didn't have any candy. I think MissS was disappointed in that, but then she had a Halloween event at her pre-school involving candy and kids and costumes. I don't dare allow myself to be around the candy--too tempting.

Kind of a mellow week, actually. Did the gym 3 days after work. J took my Honda to the dealer for an alignment, which we hoped would fix the grinding/clashing noise I hear as I am braking. I'm exaggerating the noise, but we are both puzzled. As I am braking, the noise kicks in around 25mph and sounds like metal is grinding under my foot. The brakes have been totally torn apart and inspected, and pronounced perfect. But the alignment did not help, although it needed that too.

Got paid Friday, and that was wonderful. We got caught up on everything, and planned out what will be happening in the next 30 days. I also took one more step to prepare for the move: I set up online accounts for all the local bills, so MissS doesn't have to worry about forwarding any mail. The TV and Internet will be in her name.

We will have to find a new Medicare supplement in Florida for J, and he's pretty concerned about that. I don't think his current policy is national. I have the Medicare dot gov site saved for him, and I have the website saved for the ACA, in case I need to find health insurance on my own, but of course that depends on the job search and how long it takes me to find employment.

But there is still no word yet on the Florida house, despite the fact it's been 30 days now. We were told the bank had "up to 30 days" to make a decision. Hmm. It's maddening not knowing what will happen and when. One of my friends asked me yesterday "So, what happens if you don't get it?" I just stopped dead, and said I hadn't even thought that far ahead.

But of course I have now, ever since his question. I think we both agree we would just have to resume the search again. Thankfully my sister is still willing to help with this. I hope it doesn't come to that again...

This will be week three of the food plan. November. J has a dentist appt tomorrow because he is concerned about a tooth which might need to come out. Ugh. Sometimes I feel I am not earning money fast enough-- it's always something.

I'm working on remaining optimistic, and hopeful, and most of all grateful, for what has happened so far.