Monday

A holiday! A three day weekend! So happy for that. I so appreciate the extra day off. Grumble grumble, I'm too old to be working 5 days every week. (Jeez, that sounds so spoiled, and self-indulgent.)

And speaking of self-indulgent: I now know I do not ever, EVER, want to visit an "experimental" film festival again. One evening was waaaaay too much. The entries in P'land's third annual EFF were the very definition of self-indulgent crap, most of them anyway.

The one J was in was honestly one of the best, and surprisingly it drew major laughs. That reaction was not expected, so the director (Pam, who was sitting next to me) kept looking around in shock first, then dismay, and then gradual delight over the huge response.  She got major applause and cheers when it was over. And when J stepped off the stage (out of the shadows and into the light) to hand back the microphone, the audience finally could see him, and more applause and cheers rang out. He was caught off guard also, and then I think he bowed slightly, and grinned in appreciation. He sat back down next to me, and the rest of the evening's submissions followed.

 Pam's entry was number 2 and there were maybe 15 others following all ranging in length from 1 minute to 12 minutes.  These were almost indescribable: Some were just quick shots of blurry colors, set to weird uncomfortable music. Some were supposed to be thought-provoking and intense depictions of ...whatever. One was a scene of  a night-time skyline over LA, and various lights in the view would blink in time to music. For six minutes. One was about cute dogs who turned mutant and ate a troll-like creature who was trying to make friends with them. The whole evening was just one loooong exercise in young filmmakers attempting to mess with one's mind. The most disturbing piece was a 20minute attempt to show how various media portrayed 9-11. I wanted to leave.  (After that piece there was a Q&A with the director, and he actually said, "I'm very surprised no one got up and left...")

Afterwards J was encouraged to attend the after party at a place called the Funhouse, a bar/coffeehouse type of place where one could sign up to present one's poetry or music or whatever. This evening a young woman got up on stage, and went through a long preparation phase, before she introduced herself in a tiny shy little voice.  Then she began: she was screeching some words (and calling it singing) along to various beats she created on her keyboard.

Oh. My. God.  It was dreadful.  I can't even describe how bad it was. After we'd been listening about 12 minutes I couldn't bear it anymore. I was trying to think how to politely leave, when she suddenly reached a point in the screeching where she actually yelled at the top of her lungs. She was simultaneously hitting the mike to emphasize her anger, and everyone at the table startled in shock.  I whispered in J's ear that I was ready to go anytime. We left in the middle of her song emoting, and got outside not even finishing our drinks.

Other than that, it's been a good week and weekend. Saturday, S and I drove up to an outlet shopping center I've driven by countless times and always wondered about. The prospect of her leaving the US is making me realize we better do some of the things we've talked about before we don't have that opportunity...so while we enjoyed seeing things up there, the prices weren't as wonderful as one would think they'd be at an outlet store. I went specifically looking for a handbag to use this summer, and S wanted a pair of dressy black pants. Neither one of us found those, but she found a couple of skirts and a top; at an entirely different store we stopped at on the way home I found a top I liked.

So yesterday I drove over to Ross, and found a bag. Much cheaper, and more of what I wanted. That'll teach me...although we did have a good day, and it's all about spending time with loved ones, right?

My neck is slowly feeling better with the chiro treatments.  It's certainly not a modern miracle for me, but it's helping. Today my daughter is again coming up, and we'll prepare the paintings and artwork to be shipped out. Maybe we'll rent a movie for later...

It's another cold windy gloomy day, and I think it's best to remain inside--although  I really need my walks. We'll figure something out.

Sunday

I was disappointed yesterday morning by a text I got from sonN.  I'd been actually planning a trip down to SF to meet up with them, figuring out where to stay, and what to do, and how we'd manage P'land Friday night and then head out immediately the next morning for SF,  and what a lot of driving it was going to be on Memorial Day weekend, and whether to rent a bigger car because daughter wanted to come along. I foolishly allowed myself to get up real hopes that we'd have a great reunion, and finally J would meet both twins at the same time...combined with my worry about the cost of such an adventure.

Then the half-expected text came, after the frugal side of me sent N a text asking if he was going to be farther north, say, Redding.  The text said, nah, we're in Albuquerque at our new boss's house.  They've both jumped from the previous crew, and gone to try this new crew where theoretically they can keep more of their earnings.  Sigh.

Should have known better than to plan.  So I was kind of down yesterday morning. J had  left early for P'land, and I was then free to listen to my music, and putter here til it was time to head for the meeting. It was a small group, and some of the stories of difficulties other parents are having put things into perspective for me. I have absolutely nothing to complain about:  Both my sons are fed and housed. While they are going to have financial troubles when they eventually leave the magazine sales crews what with not ever having paid taxes, at least they are alive, supporting themselves. It may be velvet handcuffs, or whatever that phrase is, but  they are alive. They are not (as one member shared, crying, and hopeless) parked in her driveway refusing to go anywhere because they are unemployed and homeless and hungry. And they are not dead from an overdose, as another parent shared on this, the anniversary of that death.

Okay. New subject.

Last week the neck pain I've had for a month now progressed to both sides of my neck. I was frustrated and hurting, and J gently said again, why not try Frank (the chiropractor he's been seeing off and on for 20 years)?  I said grumpily that I'd have to think about it, because some part of me is frightened I will be adjusted incorrectly and be paralyzed forever.  But as the day wore on, I texted him, saying okay, please make an appt for me...and to my surprise I was lying on the bench just hours later. My chiro is very gentle, and reassuring, and took xrays. Much to my shock, even my own uneducated eyes  could see something not right. Turns out I have what he terms "moderate to severe" cervical osteoarthritis; what I am experiencing is a flare. Not a darned thing to be done, there's no cure, just treatments. So I am having a short series of adjustments, and stimulation with the TENS unit, and then at home applying ice, and doing certain stretching exercises, and ibuprofen, and  that's about it.

The good news is that even after that very first visit I was feeling better. I can continue with my walking, and was encouraged to find a place to lie down in the middle of the day (hah! that won't happen) to relieve the pressure off my neck. I had another visit late yesterday afternoon, and have another one or two later this week.  At $45  bucks a visit, it ain't cheap. But it is helping.

After the meeting yesterday I drove over to Lebanon and ordered some new scrubs from the only shop around, and she will even deliver them to my workplace, saving me the return trip to pick them up. I also stopped in Goodwill and looked there for some scrubs, finding a pair of pants and two tops. Yay for inexpensive scrubs!   Then home and took a nap. Managed a 2mile walk, saw a coyote fairly close by, and then home again to J, heating up some soup for our dinner. We had a nice loving peaceful evening, as always. He'd been asked to read for not only the role he was auditioning for, but for another part, and they had seem impressed.

Tomorrow morning is my mammogram, and tomorrow night is my chiro appt and then J's son is coming for dinner with his gf.   Both J and I have ever increasing lists of projects to get done for each day, or each weekend, or this summer.

Today is my Gramma's birthday. She died 13 years ago, but she is ever present in my mind and heart. Thursday night my sister and I had a wonderful long talk on the phone as we went over all of mom's and Gramma's artwork. We each have photos on our computers of each piece; we decided what to do with each piece, whether we wanted it or didn't, and then what to do with those. Surprisingly, there was only one piece we both wanted, and so we've agreed to check with my brother also, and if he doesn't want it, we'll share it so it spends time in both of our homes.

This was a project we've both kind of been putting off, fearing it would be a long drawn out process. In actuality, we got all that accomplished and even managed to get caught up with other things in about an hour.

One piece I'm particularly thrilled with keeping is the big Polseno ruffed grouse; and yet  where I will put it I don't know. Same with the gorgeous embroidery in the sadly mistreated frame. And the other very special piece was something that says Gramma to me, which is a painting of what looks like stone houses, surrounding a charming bay or lake, set in some hills. I think it'll need cleaning at some point, but I can remember this from my earliest memories of Boston.

The pieces that my sister wants I will package up and send. I hope to get this done in the next two weeks, so it will meet her emotional mental deadline of June 7, the first year of the anniversary of mom's death.   What an incredible year this has been for both of us.

Last August J and I were fortunate to be able to get tickets to Antiques Roadshow up in Seattle.  And last Monday night the first of those shows was aired. We were watching this with eagle eyes, and yup, caught brief glimpses of ourselves in the background. That was exciting!  it was memorable in that it was also the day after the Lincoln caught fire and burned to a crisp on the bridge in P'land.

Well. Lots to do here today, and I want to start checking things off my List. I'm kind of glad we are not driving down to SF next weekend. The film festival Friday night is going to be a big deal, and it's going to be especially enjoyable knowing I still have 3 more days off, to recover and to have no plans. Life is good, and I am blessed.

Monday

Another week has flown by. J has two auditions this week; although he didn't get the part he auditioned for last week, the casting agent asked him to attend both of the upcoming ones due to his "fantastic natural ability". That made him feel both excited and humbled.  The only down side is that these are in P'land, requiring a 90min drive each way. Sigh.

Work went well  last week. Some of the days seem long now that I'm settled in. The PA and I are constantly refining our working relationship,  and so that is an ongoing practice. He's very tight-lipped about his personal life, and doesn't share much info, but seems affable and friendly enough. Doesn't allow work to crossover into friendship. It's easier and more pleasant to spend a day with someone if we can share info or experiences, so this is a challenge for me, the way he keeps me and everyone else at a distance. Still, I have great relationships with everyone else. (Almost everyone, that is.)

Mother's Day was excellent, because it became Mother's Weekend for me.  J and his son went down to Eugene to a particular shop for a new pair of glasses for J, and it turned into a long day for them. So after my meeting, I rushed home and changed, and then my daughter arrived and we headed up to P'land just by ourselves to go to the zoo. Neither of us has been there in a loooong time, and it was a great idea. S brought me a box of chocolates from my favorite place, and a card which just  about made me cry.

The zoo was crowded,and we got to see every single thing in our three hours. Except penguins-- somehow we overlooked them. Elephants, including the new baby, cheetahs, otters, giraffes, lions, wild dogs, monkeys, all kinds of birds.

Then we drove home and found J cooking a great stir fry. We'd stopped and rented three movies as a big treat: the Jack Reacher movie, the first Star Trek movie, and one with TommyLeeJones and Meryl Streep called Hope Springs; wonderful weekend.

 And late yesterday my sons called; they are in Sacramento, and it was great to hear from them. They were fascinated by S's plans  for the future, and wanted to hear all about that.

Then J suggested that we drive down to where they are heading next, and meet them!  So that might happen...I haven't seen N in 4 years, and J in 3; it would be a huge thrill to see them. Between J's weekend plans and my inflexible work schedule it might be difficult, but I could make this work. We'll see.

Pay day today, so we will sit down now and go over bills. Then I head off to work, another long week.  This five-day work week is tough!!

Monday

It's 730, and normally I'd be leaving for work. On Mondays I am strongly encouraged to come in an hour or two later than my normal start time of 8, because that prevents me from  building up overtime during the following days. My days normally run from 745 or so til 5, and I work til after 5 on the Tuesdays and Thursdays DrSK is in.  The Powers That Be  would rather have me come in late (on a morning with no patients), than to leave early (on an afternoon with no patients). Rats: I'd rather leave early on those Fridays, frankly. But I have volunteered to leave early on other days, if things are slow. I sure don't need the full 40 hours each week, as long as I have my benefits.

The weather has been crazy hot the past few days. SO unusual for OR: every day is above 80 degrees, since last Wednesday I think. Normal weather in early May is cool, maybe in the 60s, with rain.

It's a well known fact that although the beginning of the summer camping season is Memorial Day; however it's also a known fact that it'll rain on that weekend. People around here just plan for it, and head off for outdoor activities anyway. Weird. I'm not a camper, but most of my friends are. I am an outdoor person, so it's been wonderful to work outside, and walk in these beautiful sunny windy hot days. Thank goodness for the wind...keeps it bearable.

J has the sprinkler system set up, and we got one final load of gardening earth unloaded from the truck yesterday, spread out  so J can till it into the current garden. Almost ready to plant the rest of our veggies. It was hot enough that I couldn't stay out as long as I wanted; I had to sit in the shade and sip on some water. J worked on, like the machine he is. Later we both took naps. Then I got up, only to sit out on the back deck, reading, and listening to the river creek water. So peaceful.  A deer trotted along the fence and then headed off into the field.

A friend from my meeting came over yesterday morning at 830, and we walked my usual route with the dog. It was so nice to talk, and compare notes. We saw the same gopher snake that my daughter and I had seen on Saturday afternoon, and both of us had the same reaction: OMG. She has the same fear and phobia I do, and we shared scary snake stories. She was horrified at my "mom and the rattlesnake" story, and that helped me get some closure to that process.

It's almost been a year that my daughter and I went up to mom's for what turned out to be S's last visit with her; it might actually have been mother's day weekend. And the Friday of Memorial Day weekend was when mom's friend called me to say "you need to be up there now, she is dying". And that set off my notifying BossJ that I had to quit, and then J and I making arrangements to stay up there for an extended period. My lord, we have been through a lot this past year.

Every day I thank god it's all over, at last. Every day I am so grateful for all the support provided by my sister, and husband, and daughter, and boss. I am so blessed.