Writing late, because Christmas...and MissS' visit.
MissS arrived late afternoon last Wednesday, and we stopped at a dollar store for something before going to our house. She's very good at hiding feelings, when she wants to. I have no idea how she felt about the house, but I think she liked it. (I wish she had been able to see it before the hurricane. Everything is different now, but J and I are finally recovering from the terrible shock and loss, and are beginning to see what the possibilities are for re-creating an oasis.)
Sis and BIL came for dinner that night too-- we all had leftovers, and just settled in, catching up. MissS was exhausted, and stressed from the travel, and BIL and I had to work early, so we made it an early night.
Sis came and took MissS for lunch and shopping on Thursday, getting back just before I got home from work. Then Bro and SIL came and picked up MissS for dinner. First time they've seen her in 10 years! J and I had a quiet evening.
Friday I didn't have to work, and it was payday. So J and I did our grocery shopping early in the morning, while MissS was still asleep. Then he and I sat, and worried about leaving the dogs all day in their crate--because we were going to be gone all day. I finally suggested we leave a key with our neighbor and our phone number, so that if we weren't back by 9pm she could come and let the dogs out.
Instead, when J brought the key over to Louise and explained our plan, she insisted on coming over twice later on to check on them. This is our 90 year old sweetheart of a neighbor. I can't explain how relieved I was that she was willing to do this. She came inside, and was formally introduced to the dogs--naturally they know her and she knows them because we share a fence, but having her inside the house and giving them treats made it a lot easier.
BIL and Sis then arrived, and we all packed up in their SUV, and headed out by 10:30. It was a long drive to Big Cat Rescue over in Tampa, with a hell of a lot of traffic due to the holiday weekend. But we all had a great time, arriving there around 2. Sis had picked up to-go sandwiches for us, and we had a picnic in the parking lot at the picnic benches.
Then we headed into the site for our behind-the-scenes tour of the Rescue facility; heard all about the animals and their individual stories, and had a fascinating and very moving tour of this amazing place. We were in a group of about 20 people, led by a guide, and we all had time to gaze and admire and learn a lot. I was pretty impressed, and fairly emotional at some of the stories.
We left there around 4, and took a different route home, going through a lot more rural central Florida. We actually saw two deer--first ones I've seen here, and two coyotes in a field, and drove through a huge state park (I think) where there were signs warning of bears. We passed under an animal overpass on the highway. Pretty amazing.
We arrived home late, around 7, and the dogs were just fine. We were so grateful to Louise. We three scrounged up some simple food, and watched a classic Christmas movie, "White Christmas", one of our favorites.
Next morning I went to my AlAnon meeting, and then later MissS and I hit a couple of antique stores downtown to look around, and took a tour of a local chocolate shop, enjoying the holiday atmosphere. Home again, we did some baking, and then got ready for dinner at Sis' house, bringing the dogs. I don't even remember what we ate, but it was all good as usual. We sat in the hot tub for awhile, and that felt heavenly...
Christmas morning! MissS and I joined Sis at her Pilates class with one other woman, and BIL. Then back at home we made cinnamon rolls (another tradition), and opened our presents. J's grandson Kevin arrived for the day, and we all spent the afternoon at Sis'. BIL's daughter was there too for the day having driven up from Orlando, and Bro and SIL also were there. We all brought and ate lots of food, with lots of desserts. It rained a lot, forcing us to be inside, but cleared up enough later so that we could actually all eat Christmas dinner outside on the patio. Lovely, lovely holiday...
Monday, MissS and I headed out to do some tourist shopping, and visited a beach where we parked and walked along the water, and then sat on the sand, sunning, enjoying the absolute perfection of the morning. We went to lunch at a local chain called SteakNShake, where you can get a good meal (not fast food burgers, but cooked to order) and fries for $4, and we also had lemonade, and then got their specialty shakes to go. Rushed home and dropped off a shake for J, and then ran back out to pick up a few groceries, before settling in on the sofa for a few hours of downtime: looking at photo albums, coloring, and talking.
Dinner was crab cakes, green beans, creamed onions, and cranberry jelly. All yummy. We were all fairly exhausted by then, so to bed. Up early this morning, and discussed a fairly serious issue she is dealing with financially, before I had to leave for work at 7:30. It was hard to leave, knowing that we don't know when we'll see each other again.
Sis picked her up for breakfast out, and then took her to the airport for her flight home. She and I texted during the day as she was traveling. At one point she was upgraded to first class, for the final leg to Portland! Must have been nice! I'm not sure I'll be able to stay up til her arrival home, but I will try.
It was wonderful to see her, and spend time together. I think she is now wanting to move here, but she has some planning to do, to make it happen. It was fun showing her the area. I suspect she thinks we do these high energy level, "fun things" all the time; this definitely doesn't happen all the time, I felt like explaining. We saved up and planned for these things specially for her visit.
J has been a saint, and encouraged me to spend as much time as possible with MissS , for which I am very grateful. He is a very understanding person. This has been an emotional time for all of us, in different ways. One of his exes just found some of his family photos in her belongings last week, and has posted them on FB for him; in particular an old B&W photo of him at 16, and his mom. He hadn't seen that in 35-ish years, thinking it was long gone. It was a huge blessing to receive that.
This weekend we'll take down the tree, and put away all the decorations. We hope to receive the insurance money by then too. That will be a nice close to the year. 2016 has been a huge year of changes.
It's after 9, and I'm off schedule. Normally I write on Sundays, so this feels odd. I'll get back into my routine next weekend.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Sunday
Another wonderful weekend is almost over.
Last Monday morning I came across a response a dear friend had made to a political post I put on Facebook. It seemed a thoughtful and concise response so I took a few extra minutes to write something in return. I then got off Facebook and raced to work.
During the day (I later found out) my sister also commented on this post and the friend then responded nastily, and it went back and forth. By the time I got on Facebook when I got home again that night, I was just in time to see him posting, "...and I'm unfriending you because I don't want to see your sister's postings..." Click. Gone. There was more, but I was flabbergasted. That was it. This is someone I have known since we were 9.
It took me a few days to figure out what to email to him privately, to which he responded very clearly that he has always had to "protect himself " from her. I have no idea what he is referring to, but the upshot is that I have lost a friendship-on-Facebook. He was quick to reassure me we are friends off Facebook. Politics. I've unfriended a few people due to their political beliefs, but not because they were nasty to me. He was nasty to her, for no reason that I can see. I'm sad to have gone through this, but it's pretty telling of his character. He is not like this in person, and only nasty about others when writing. I'm sad. And confused.
Tuesday afternoon at work I started noticing a bad, familiar feeling of nausea along with a steadily building headache. I kept thinking I would just get through the next few hours until the shift was over, and I did manage that barely. I got home knowing it was another migraine. I took my medication and lay down. I got up an hour later and had some nicely salty chicken salad J made, and went right back to bed. What an awful feeling that is. Thank God for migraine medications.
Wednesday J had an appt with who what we thought was the insurance co.; it turned out to be with FEMA. They have denied our request for financial aid, but approved us for a low interest loan if we want one. We don't. So we are stuck with a broken pool enclosure...and that will be just fine. We'll figure it out down the road.
Wednesday my doc was in the office seeing patients--not a usual day for him to be in the office seeing patients, but he was leaving town the rest of the week and therefore we assumed I'd be working with him. Instead, the other doc told me quite firmly that I'd be working with her as usual, and the two RNs would be working with my Doc. That didn't seem quite fair to me, as it seemed to be a Friday schedule; and we'd just doing this on a Wednesday instead. But that other doc said to me, "No, this is my Wednesday, and you're with me on Wednesdays." Oookay...she can be quite brusque at times, and we all know it.
That day my coworker E was muttering under her breath about quitting (again), partly because of this doc's attitude, and the next day she left early because there were no patients, and we didn't really need her... Friday she didn't come in at all. I don't know what's happening but I fear we will lose her. She's prickly to work with sometimes, but when she wants to, she is charming and a very hard worker.
Meanwhile J had an appt with his cardiologist that day; all is well. He goes back in 6 months, and does a repeat Holter monitor and labs, but those are normal things. He feels fine. They've changed his BP med to add a water pill component to it, to combat the edema he notices in his lower legs.
That night Sis and BIL came for dinner, and we all got caught up. They left on Friday to go visit BIL's parents for a long weekend, and J and I have been feeding the kitties in their absence. They should be back tonight.
This week J mailed all packages and Christmas cards for us, and he also started working on taking the kitchen door to the workroom down, so he can rehang it from the opposite side and add some pretty trim. Today he is all done except for the door handle (which is being recalcitrant!). Hanging it so it opens into the workroom, and from the left inside of the right gives a feeling of a lot more room in the kitchen.
He also planted the new plants out by the mailbox, and now has to remember to keep watering them until they are re-settled. He plans to contact our vet or a groomer so we can get Fiona's mats removed, since she won't let us tackle them.
J also fixed our torn sheet! Sis had told me about iron-on patches, and gave us her extra iron. I ordered some patches online, and they arrived Friday. Today J ironed that patch on, and voila! A beautiful fix. I'm so relieved.
I feel like he has been doing a lot this week, and that I'm not documenting all that he is doing--but the days just fly by. He is a hard worker, and I would be lost without him.
One more trip out to Sis' house right now and we'll get back in time for a light dinner. Tomorrow back to work, and Wednesday, MissS arrives! So excited. TYG.
Last Monday morning I came across a response a dear friend had made to a political post I put on Facebook. It seemed a thoughtful and concise response so I took a few extra minutes to write something in return. I then got off Facebook and raced to work.
During the day (I later found out) my sister also commented on this post and the friend then responded nastily, and it went back and forth. By the time I got on Facebook when I got home again that night, I was just in time to see him posting, "...and I'm unfriending you because I don't want to see your sister's postings..." Click. Gone. There was more, but I was flabbergasted. That was it. This is someone I have known since we were 9.
It took me a few days to figure out what to email to him privately, to which he responded very clearly that he has always had to "protect himself " from her. I have no idea what he is referring to, but the upshot is that I have lost a friendship-on-Facebook. He was quick to reassure me we are friends off Facebook. Politics. I've unfriended a few people due to their political beliefs, but not because they were nasty to me. He was nasty to her, for no reason that I can see. I'm sad to have gone through this, but it's pretty telling of his character. He is not like this in person, and only nasty about others when writing. I'm sad. And confused.
Tuesday afternoon at work I started noticing a bad, familiar feeling of nausea along with a steadily building headache. I kept thinking I would just get through the next few hours until the shift was over, and I did manage that barely. I got home knowing it was another migraine. I took my medication and lay down. I got up an hour later and had some nicely salty chicken salad J made, and went right back to bed. What an awful feeling that is. Thank God for migraine medications.
Wednesday J had an appt with who what we thought was the insurance co.; it turned out to be with FEMA. They have denied our request for financial aid, but approved us for a low interest loan if we want one. We don't. So we are stuck with a broken pool enclosure...and that will be just fine. We'll figure it out down the road.
Wednesday my doc was in the office seeing patients--not a usual day for him to be in the office seeing patients, but he was leaving town the rest of the week and therefore we assumed I'd be working with him. Instead, the other doc told me quite firmly that I'd be working with her as usual, and the two RNs would be working with my Doc. That didn't seem quite fair to me, as it seemed to be a Friday schedule; and we'd just doing this on a Wednesday instead. But that other doc said to me, "No, this is my Wednesday, and you're with me on Wednesdays." Oookay...she can be quite brusque at times, and we all know it.
That day my coworker E was muttering under her breath about quitting (again), partly because of this doc's attitude, and the next day she left early because there were no patients, and we didn't really need her... Friday she didn't come in at all. I don't know what's happening but I fear we will lose her. She's prickly to work with sometimes, but when she wants to, she is charming and a very hard worker.
Meanwhile J had an appt with his cardiologist that day; all is well. He goes back in 6 months, and does a repeat Holter monitor and labs, but those are normal things. He feels fine. They've changed his BP med to add a water pill component to it, to combat the edema he notices in his lower legs.
That night Sis and BIL came for dinner, and we all got caught up. They left on Friday to go visit BIL's parents for a long weekend, and J and I have been feeding the kitties in their absence. They should be back tonight.
This week J mailed all packages and Christmas cards for us, and he also started working on taking the kitchen door to the workroom down, so he can rehang it from the opposite side and add some pretty trim. Today he is all done except for the door handle (which is being recalcitrant!). Hanging it so it opens into the workroom, and from the left inside of the right gives a feeling of a lot more room in the kitchen.
He also planted the new plants out by the mailbox, and now has to remember to keep watering them until they are re-settled. He plans to contact our vet or a groomer so we can get Fiona's mats removed, since she won't let us tackle them.
J also fixed our torn sheet! Sis had told me about iron-on patches, and gave us her extra iron. I ordered some patches online, and they arrived Friday. Today J ironed that patch on, and voila! A beautiful fix. I'm so relieved.
I feel like he has been doing a lot this week, and that I'm not documenting all that he is doing--but the days just fly by. He is a hard worker, and I would be lost without him.
One more trip out to Sis' house right now and we'll get back in time for a light dinner. Tomorrow back to work, and Wednesday, MissS arrives! So excited. TYG.
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Sunday
J has taken to texting me in the morning speaking in the voice of the dogs. He walks them right after I leave for work. It's difficult for him because he is managing the two retractable leashes and his cane, remembering also to bring his own house keys and the little blue plastic poo bags ( we live in a residential neighborhood, and it is required, not to mention Polite, to pick up after one's pet).
So he sets off after I leave, and the first text I get is when they get home, around 9am. It's usually "from" Missy. She complains about how slow J is at walking, or how many dogs were barking at her, and how she wants to take off after them. Then Murphy takes over, and he grumbles about how young and foolish Missy is, and how eager she is to "start something". Then J gets on, and finishes the text by letting me know the plans for the rest of the day, and who he is going to call, etc. It always makes me smile.
This week I had my first cleaning with my new hygienist, Kelly. I was very upfront with her, saying that I always dread the dentist and cleanings, and explaining it was because of traumatic childhood dentist visits and the fact that I cannot keep my mouth open for very long, and that it's a small mouth anyway. She heard me out and then said that would be no problem, to just signal her when I needed to take a break, and we proceeded. It went fine. She was careful to explain just what she was doing each step of the way. Not that I haven't had this done many, many times before, but I definitely appreciated the advance warning. I like her. I already have my next visit scheduled for June.
One day this week, Wednesday, I got home and discovered J was having a lot of pain in his left wrist. He was obviously struggling, but when I suggested we go to the urgent care to have it evaluated, he absolutely refused. I made dinner that night, which is unusual--he usually does the cooking-- and he agreed to take one of his morphine pills after dinner. This did not help his pain. Three hours later he took another. I can count on one hand the number of times he has taken morphine twice in a day---but it didn't help. It was a long night.
The next morning he was no better, and in fact he was worse, but he refused to allow me to take him to Urgent Care. Finally in desperation I asked if he'd go if Sis went with him instead of me--since he didn't want me to feel badly over missing work. He quickly agreed. So I texted Sis, and fortunately her schedule was flexible that day; she immediately said, I'm getting dressed and I'm on my way.
I went to work, and was promptly drenched in work--Thursdays are one of the days my doc is in seeing patients. But over the next two hours, Sis and J texted me with updates. It ended up not being a fracture, and xrays did show a lot of arthritis--as expected-- and so it was diagnosed as an arthritis flare; he was given prednisone for five days, and a new wrist brace for the left hand/wrist, and told to take Tylenol for the pain. Tylenol! My God... I was shocked. If morphine wasn't touching it, how could Tylenol?? He was also told to rest, ice, compress (brace), and elevate for two weeks. Umm. Sure.
Well, Sis and J picked up the rx and she took him home, and he spent much of the day resting or sleeping until I got home. But by the next day he was 80% improved. He was much more cheerful and while he did "take it easy" (easier than usual), he has been doing better each day since.
Today we went to Lowe's and bought mulch and soil and found a couple of plants to put in around the mailbox; these are supposed to flower and ultimately attract butterflies. I'm excited to see how these do. J will plant them for me tomorrow.
Last night Sis and BIL, and Bro and SIL came for dinner. It was potluck, and a great success. It's so wonderful to be able to spend relaxing time with family. No drama, no drunken scenes, no tantrums, no unhappy noise. Just lots of laughing, exchanging news and plans--it's such a blessing. Both sibs are traveling next weekend to different parts of the country, so we won't be seeing each other again until Christmas weekend. (Can't believe it's almost here.)
This was all after my meeting in the morning, and after Sis and I had spent a few hours after that shopping. I got paid Friday, and after bills were paid we had enough left over that this was the Christmas "shopping spree" on Saturday afternoon. I found sheets and pillows for the second bedroom. We went to the Dollar Store so I could find little gifties for my co-workers' stockings. Then I found a few things I needed, and Sis found a few things she needed. It's always fun to do errands, shopping together.
The other big thing this week was learning we are getting $6700 from the insurance company. Stupidly, they mailed it to the Oregon address a few weeks ago, and since no one is at that address anymore, who knows where the check actually is. J called them Monday to inquire if there had been a decision yet; that was when they said it had been mailed to us on Nov 15. Hmm. Something wrong here. After this was straightened out, they said they would cancel that check and mail a replacement check out to us Tuesday morning. Well, it's Sunday evening and still not here. They are a local insurance company. No idea why it's not here yet.
Once the check is actually here in our hands, we have to sign it and mail it to our mortgage company--a Florida law, because the check is made out to us jointly with the mortgage company--and then they will sign and send it back to us. (For god's sake...what a runaround.) If we are lucky we'll have it by the end of the year...
We plan to pay off all credit card debt. If there is any left over,we'll buy a vacuum cleaner, and a replacement shed, and a tarp to cover the pool. It will be a huge relief to be out of debt.
Dinner is ready...
So he sets off after I leave, and the first text I get is when they get home, around 9am. It's usually "from" Missy. She complains about how slow J is at walking, or how many dogs were barking at her, and how she wants to take off after them. Then Murphy takes over, and he grumbles about how young and foolish Missy is, and how eager she is to "start something". Then J gets on, and finishes the text by letting me know the plans for the rest of the day, and who he is going to call, etc. It always makes me smile.
This week I had my first cleaning with my new hygienist, Kelly. I was very upfront with her, saying that I always dread the dentist and cleanings, and explaining it was because of traumatic childhood dentist visits and the fact that I cannot keep my mouth open for very long, and that it's a small mouth anyway. She heard me out and then said that would be no problem, to just signal her when I needed to take a break, and we proceeded. It went fine. She was careful to explain just what she was doing each step of the way. Not that I haven't had this done many, many times before, but I definitely appreciated the advance warning. I like her. I already have my next visit scheduled for June.
One day this week, Wednesday, I got home and discovered J was having a lot of pain in his left wrist. He was obviously struggling, but when I suggested we go to the urgent care to have it evaluated, he absolutely refused. I made dinner that night, which is unusual--he usually does the cooking-- and he agreed to take one of his morphine pills after dinner. This did not help his pain. Three hours later he took another. I can count on one hand the number of times he has taken morphine twice in a day---but it didn't help. It was a long night.
The next morning he was no better, and in fact he was worse, but he refused to allow me to take him to Urgent Care. Finally in desperation I asked if he'd go if Sis went with him instead of me--since he didn't want me to feel badly over missing work. He quickly agreed. So I texted Sis, and fortunately her schedule was flexible that day; she immediately said, I'm getting dressed and I'm on my way.
I went to work, and was promptly drenched in work--Thursdays are one of the days my doc is in seeing patients. But over the next two hours, Sis and J texted me with updates. It ended up not being a fracture, and xrays did show a lot of arthritis--as expected-- and so it was diagnosed as an arthritis flare; he was given prednisone for five days, and a new wrist brace for the left hand/wrist, and told to take Tylenol for the pain. Tylenol! My God... I was shocked. If morphine wasn't touching it, how could Tylenol?? He was also told to rest, ice, compress (brace), and elevate for two weeks. Umm. Sure.
Well, Sis and J picked up the rx and she took him home, and he spent much of the day resting or sleeping until I got home. But by the next day he was 80% improved. He was much more cheerful and while he did "take it easy" (easier than usual), he has been doing better each day since.
Today we went to Lowe's and bought mulch and soil and found a couple of plants to put in around the mailbox; these are supposed to flower and ultimately attract butterflies. I'm excited to see how these do. J will plant them for me tomorrow.
Last night Sis and BIL, and Bro and SIL came for dinner. It was potluck, and a great success. It's so wonderful to be able to spend relaxing time with family. No drama, no drunken scenes, no tantrums, no unhappy noise. Just lots of laughing, exchanging news and plans--it's such a blessing. Both sibs are traveling next weekend to different parts of the country, so we won't be seeing each other again until Christmas weekend. (Can't believe it's almost here.)
This was all after my meeting in the morning, and after Sis and I had spent a few hours after that shopping. I got paid Friday, and after bills were paid we had enough left over that this was the Christmas "shopping spree" on Saturday afternoon. I found sheets and pillows for the second bedroom. We went to the Dollar Store so I could find little gifties for my co-workers' stockings. Then I found a few things I needed, and Sis found a few things she needed. It's always fun to do errands, shopping together.
The other big thing this week was learning we are getting $6700 from the insurance company. Stupidly, they mailed it to the Oregon address a few weeks ago, and since no one is at that address anymore, who knows where the check actually is. J called them Monday to inquire if there had been a decision yet; that was when they said it had been mailed to us on Nov 15. Hmm. Something wrong here. After this was straightened out, they said they would cancel that check and mail a replacement check out to us Tuesday morning. Well, it's Sunday evening and still not here. They are a local insurance company. No idea why it's not here yet.
Once the check is actually here in our hands, we have to sign it and mail it to our mortgage company--a Florida law, because the check is made out to us jointly with the mortgage company--and then they will sign and send it back to us. (For god's sake...what a runaround.) If we are lucky we'll have it by the end of the year...
We plan to pay off all credit card debt. If there is any left over,we'll buy a vacuum cleaner, and a replacement shed, and a tarp to cover the pool. It will be a huge relief to be out of debt.
Dinner is ready...
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Sunday
Not too much going on this week. It was a long 5-day work week for us all!
I was the first one in on Monday morning; in my absence last Wednesday they had done the Christmas decorating. Wow. They really do it all up. Things hanging from the ceiling, things attached to walls, garlands, little Christmas decorations on all surfaces. Even individual stockings with each of our names, hanging outside every exam room door. Apparently we each bring items for all the other stockings, and in that way everyone ends up with their stocking filled with little goodies. M was quick to assure me these are usually dollar-store items, so definitely no big money involved. I was relieved...
Each day went well this past week; I don't have much anxiety over each day anymore. Fridays remain challenging because both docs are in seeing patients, which means I'm strictly responsible for rooming my own patients from start to finish, then presenting the pt's history and details to the Dr before he goes in the room, and then being available when he comes out to give me the orders, print out rx's, etc. Documenting everything he says and orders, and then making sure all that gets done is very challenging in the allotted amount of time.
The only good thing about Fridays is that the RNs in the back are available to be back-up. P usually works with me, and V works with the other dr. Oh, that, and the fact that we usually only see 8 patients on those days: 5-6 in the morning, and 2-3 in the afternoon, so we have time to clean rooms, re-stock, check messages and phone calls after all pts are gone.
However, this month is an exception. Because each doc will be taking some days off, the remaining days are supposedly available to see the pts that must be seen. Hah. In real life it means we are seeing anywhere from 11- 15 pts each day, which is a long and busy day. We scramble to do this, let me tell you.
But there are moments of quiet, too, and my coworkers are the best: we laugh, and listen to music on someone's phone, and share funny stories. This past Friday we all agreedwith sheer relief to put off our own staff Christmas party until January, when there isn't so much else to do.
At home J and I bought an artificial Christmas tree. It's something I swore I would never do. But a combination of things made us realize this was a better choice, at least for now. Not the least of which is we don't have a vacuum cleaner, and cleaning up dropped needles would be challenging. Also we discovered that either we have lost or did not bring certain Christmas boxes, or maybe we even tossed (or left back in OR) certain items due to lack of room in the trailer...
Anyway. We will hopefully be in better financial shape next year, and then we might decide on a real tree--I really miss that pine-y smell. They are pretty expensive here. In Oregon you can get a real tree for $10. Here, not so much. Plus we would have had to buy the stand, and the lights; I want some for outside and inside. Well, next year.
We do have two long artificial garlands to wrap around the porch pillars, and there is a connecting garland which has lights. And I do have the creches, and the ornaments, and the most precious of my indoor doo-dads. This is good.
Today J decided to tackle finishing the second bedroom, getting it ready for visitors. He put the bed together, and moved all boxes out to the workshop. Tomorrow he will hang most of the remaining paintings. Because in just a few weeks my beloved daughter arrives to spend Christmas here with us. A few weeks after that J's middle son and that son's two teenage sons will spend a long weekend. And a week after that, J's oldest daughter will again come with her grandson who is 7, also for a long weekend.
Then we have a break, and in February my oldest and dearest friend Jennie will be in FL with her fiance; they will be down in Sanibel, but we will all meet up halfway between there and here somewhere for a day. This is on my birthday weekend, so, a great way to celebrate.
And in March it will be a year since we moved here. Hard to believe!!
This past week Sis and BIL took us to see Melissa Etheridge doing a "holiday show" (which fortunately was in the same local venue as when she and I saw "Janis" in April). A great place, a great show--she has so much joy and enthusiasm. (Much like Springsteen.) We had a great time, and really enjoyed the music; she is someone I have wanted to see, but never got the chance to. She played a lot of her hits, and put her own twist on some classic Christmas songs. Oddly I do not own any of her music, but I will have to search out some on Amazon. The latest CD is mainly blues, which I love. She plays guitar mostly, and also the drums, and harmonica, and mandolin! A very talented musician.
This coming week I have a dental cleaning very early Monday morning; I'm dreading this, as usual. I have to work afterwards, and while the dentist is in my own building, I'm just concerned because of the comments last time over how small my mouth is. I'm sure this will be painful. Ugh. But it's needed, and will not cost me anything, on my company insurance.
These weekends just fly by. I didn't go to Pilates this morning, because yesterday J and I did some more yard work cleanup. My wrists are so sore! I don't feel I did very much, certainly not enough to warrant this kind of pain. Actually this also happened Friday morning at work: DrI suddenly said with great concern, "What's wrong-- why are you doing that?" and it was only then I realized I was shaking my hands and wrists to try to get some relief. I hadn't even been aware I was doing this. I brushed it off, and said, "Oh, I don't know, my wrists are hurting". He said, "Carpal tunnel??" And I said, "No! I'm not even going to say those words!" He laughed, saying, "Denial, okay..." but later I became aware of how often I was doing that. Hmm.
I think I understand better now what J is living with, and what my dad is living with. Wrist pain-- ugh. Not a whole lot to be done about this.
We watched The Grinch last weekend, and on Friday night we watched the Charlie Brown Christmas. I know it's early to watch these--but hey, it's December. It's time. I need a little boost, because I'm living in sunny warm FLORIDA now, and it certainly doesn't look like any Christmas I've ever experienced (at least since the late 70s when I was living in San Diego). I'm taking every opportunity to immerse myself.
Okay, done. J is cooking dinner, and I need to do something more than sitting here typing.
I was the first one in on Monday morning; in my absence last Wednesday they had done the Christmas decorating. Wow. They really do it all up. Things hanging from the ceiling, things attached to walls, garlands, little Christmas decorations on all surfaces. Even individual stockings with each of our names, hanging outside every exam room door. Apparently we each bring items for all the other stockings, and in that way everyone ends up with their stocking filled with little goodies. M was quick to assure me these are usually dollar-store items, so definitely no big money involved. I was relieved...
Each day went well this past week; I don't have much anxiety over each day anymore. Fridays remain challenging because both docs are in seeing patients, which means I'm strictly responsible for rooming my own patients from start to finish, then presenting the pt's history and details to the Dr before he goes in the room, and then being available when he comes out to give me the orders, print out rx's, etc. Documenting everything he says and orders, and then making sure all that gets done is very challenging in the allotted amount of time.
The only good thing about Fridays is that the RNs in the back are available to be back-up. P usually works with me, and V works with the other dr. Oh, that, and the fact that we usually only see 8 patients on those days: 5-6 in the morning, and 2-3 in the afternoon, so we have time to clean rooms, re-stock, check messages and phone calls after all pts are gone.
However, this month is an exception. Because each doc will be taking some days off, the remaining days are supposedly available to see the pts that must be seen. Hah. In real life it means we are seeing anywhere from 11- 15 pts each day, which is a long and busy day. We scramble to do this, let me tell you.
But there are moments of quiet, too, and my coworkers are the best: we laugh, and listen to music on someone's phone, and share funny stories. This past Friday we all agreed
At home J and I bought an artificial Christmas tree. It's something I swore I would never do. But a combination of things made us realize this was a better choice, at least for now. Not the least of which is we don't have a vacuum cleaner, and cleaning up dropped needles would be challenging. Also we discovered that either we have lost or did not bring certain Christmas boxes, or maybe we even tossed (or left back in OR) certain items due to lack of room in the trailer...
Anyway. We will hopefully be in better financial shape next year, and then we might decide on a real tree--I really miss that pine-y smell. They are pretty expensive here. In Oregon you can get a real tree for $10. Here, not so much. Plus we would have had to buy the stand, and the lights; I want some for outside and inside. Well, next year.
We do have two long artificial garlands to wrap around the porch pillars, and there is a connecting garland which has lights. And I do have the creches, and the ornaments, and the most precious of my indoor doo-dads. This is good.
Today J decided to tackle finishing the second bedroom, getting it ready for visitors. He put the bed together, and moved all boxes out to the workshop. Tomorrow he will hang most of the remaining paintings. Because in just a few weeks my beloved daughter arrives to spend Christmas here with us. A few weeks after that J's middle son and that son's two teenage sons will spend a long weekend. And a week after that, J's oldest daughter will again come with her grandson who is 7, also for a long weekend.
Then we have a break, and in February my oldest and dearest friend Jennie will be in FL with her fiance; they will be down in Sanibel, but we will all meet up halfway between there and here somewhere for a day. This is on my birthday weekend, so, a great way to celebrate.
And in March it will be a year since we moved here. Hard to believe!!
This past week Sis and BIL took us to see Melissa Etheridge doing a "holiday show" (which fortunately was in the same local venue as when she and I saw "Janis" in April). A great place, a great show--she has so much joy and enthusiasm. (Much like Springsteen.) We had a great time, and really enjoyed the music; she is someone I have wanted to see, but never got the chance to. She played a lot of her hits, and put her own twist on some classic Christmas songs. Oddly I do not own any of her music, but I will have to search out some on Amazon. The latest CD is mainly blues, which I love. She plays guitar mostly, and also the drums, and harmonica, and mandolin! A very talented musician.
This coming week I have a dental cleaning very early Monday morning; I'm dreading this, as usual. I have to work afterwards, and while the dentist is in my own building, I'm just concerned because of the comments last time over how small my mouth is. I'm sure this will be painful. Ugh. But it's needed, and will not cost me anything, on my company insurance.
These weekends just fly by. I didn't go to Pilates this morning, because yesterday J and I did some more yard work cleanup. My wrists are so sore! I don't feel I did very much, certainly not enough to warrant this kind of pain. Actually this also happened Friday morning at work: DrI suddenly said with great concern, "What's wrong-- why are you doing that?" and it was only then I realized I was shaking my hands and wrists to try to get some relief. I hadn't even been aware I was doing this. I brushed it off, and said, "Oh, I don't know, my wrists are hurting". He said, "Carpal tunnel??" And I said, "No! I'm not even going to say those words!" He laughed, saying, "Denial, okay..." but later I became aware of how often I was doing that. Hmm.
I think I understand better now what J is living with, and what my dad is living with. Wrist pain-- ugh. Not a whole lot to be done about this.
We watched The Grinch last weekend, and on Friday night we watched the Charlie Brown Christmas. I know it's early to watch these--but hey, it's December. It's time. I need a little boost, because I'm living in sunny warm FLORIDA now, and it certainly doesn't look like any Christmas I've ever experienced (at least since the late 70s when I was living in San Diego). I'm taking every opportunity to immerse myself.
Okay, done. J is cooking dinner, and I need to do something more than sitting here typing.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Sunday
This has been such a nice 5-day break from work. It's a wonderful sunny and warm morning. I just got back from Pilates. We have the windows open, there's a breeze blowing through. I'm feeling pretty lazy today.
Wednesday early morning we dropped off the Caddy for a repair--the piece we ordered had arrived, and needed to be installed. We then did last minute holiday food shopping using a gift card my employer provided to all employees, and we did our regular food shopping too since each of us got paid that day. We got home and looked at all the bills again, and paid what we needed to, and confirmed we are where we need to be. J has accidentally broken a window in the workshop room, so he was waiting to hear back from a couple of glass cutters on the price. Hopefully tomorrow it will be ready for pick up.
Thanksgiving was a great day: I did major cleaning in the morning and made my deviled eggs, plating it with cut-up celery and carrots. Then it was J's turn in the kitchen to make his acorn squash dish, prepare the ham, and rolls. My sister and BIL and his visiting daughter showed up around 2 bringing home-made stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, chocolate bourbon truffles, and of course wine and beer. We started it all cooking, and then settled out by the pool to talk and sit in the sun.
At 4-ish my brother and SIL arrived bringing flowers and candles, sliced roast turkey, and three desserts: pecan pie, apple pie, and a couple of slices of vegan cheesecake. And more wine and champagne. SIL has such an eye for decorating, whether it's for home or table--she provides the nicely elegant touches, and makes it a celebration.
We all had far too much to eat, and took a lot of photos, and laughed. There wasn't too much talk of politics, for which I was grateful. BIL's daughter is interesting and thoughtful and seems so nice. She brought her three dogs (which stayed at BIL's house out in their yard, while she was visiting here from Orlando). She will come back up for Christmas, when my daughter is here too.
The next day I walked on the beach with my sister, a good long walk. Not too many people, but beautiful weather. Then I got my hair cut, trying a different hair stylist this time. I was afraid it might be awkward--using a new person while my "regular" person was right there-- but it was just fine. Then home, where J and I were happy to just relax, and not do too much. We read, and napped, and watched a movie, and just had leftovers.
Saturday I went to my meeting in the morning, and then stopped at Target to find a few things, coming home to find J still feeling very tired. He was actually cold too, and therefore stayed inside, napping off and on. He bathed both dogs, and then I gave them their monthly flea meds, a chewable pill. We see no sign of fleas, but both of them are scratching a lot, and we're not sure if it's the shampoo, the dry air here, allergies, or what.
In the afternoon we tackled the Medicare issue. We realized his meds are going to cost more next year with his current supplement, so we went online to review the options for his coverage. We found a great variety, whittling the list down to 3 possibles. Monday he will call his current PCP and see if they take any of these plans, and then he will have to decide which one to switch to. If the doc doesn't take any of these, then J has to decide if it's worth it to change plans. I'd hate to lose this doc, personally, but maybe it won't have to happen.
This afternoon we plan to do the same with our auto insurance. Currently we have it bundled with the house-in-Oregon's insurance, but since we no longer own that house, we need to change. The insurance there is not a national provider, so that means we look around here, just for car insurance.
Also this afternoon, BIL will come by and help J with removing the plywood they used to board up the windows before the hurricane; since we don't have a shed, we have no place to store it all, and so BIL offered to store it in their storage unit for us. What a generous offer! I'm so thrilled not to see these constant visual reminders of what happened to us.
The piles of scrap metal and the last of the debris were all picked up last Wednesday, so our front yard is clean and empty for the first time in many weeks. Such a relief not to have to see that all the time. Slowly we are recovering.
Next week we return to 5 full days, and I will have no more time off until the Friday before Christmas. I'm looking forward to decorating the house this year. We will get a Christmas tree next payday, and then I can get started.
Feeling pretty blessed here, these days. My usual sense of profound gratitude is returning.
Wednesday early morning we dropped off the Caddy for a repair--the piece we ordered had arrived, and needed to be installed. We then did last minute holiday food shopping using a gift card my employer provided to all employees, and we did our regular food shopping too since each of us got paid that day. We got home and looked at all the bills again, and paid what we needed to, and confirmed we are where we need to be. J has accidentally broken a window in the workshop room, so he was waiting to hear back from a couple of glass cutters on the price. Hopefully tomorrow it will be ready for pick up.
Thanksgiving was a great day: I did major cleaning in the morning and made my deviled eggs, plating it with cut-up celery and carrots. Then it was J's turn in the kitchen to make his acorn squash dish, prepare the ham, and rolls. My sister and BIL and his visiting daughter showed up around 2 bringing home-made stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, chocolate bourbon truffles, and of course wine and beer. We started it all cooking, and then settled out by the pool to talk and sit in the sun.
At 4-ish my brother and SIL arrived bringing flowers and candles, sliced roast turkey, and three desserts: pecan pie, apple pie, and a couple of slices of vegan cheesecake. And more wine and champagne. SIL has such an eye for decorating, whether it's for home or table--she provides the nicely elegant touches, and makes it a celebration.
We all had far too much to eat, and took a lot of photos, and laughed. There wasn't too much talk of politics, for which I was grateful. BIL's daughter is interesting and thoughtful and seems so nice. She brought her three dogs (which stayed at BIL's house out in their yard, while she was visiting here from Orlando). She will come back up for Christmas, when my daughter is here too.
The next day I walked on the beach with my sister, a good long walk. Not too many people, but beautiful weather. Then I got my hair cut, trying a different hair stylist this time. I was afraid it might be awkward--using a new person while my "regular" person was right there-- but it was just fine. Then home, where J and I were happy to just relax, and not do too much. We read, and napped, and watched a movie, and just had leftovers.
Saturday I went to my meeting in the morning, and then stopped at Target to find a few things, coming home to find J still feeling very tired. He was actually cold too, and therefore stayed inside, napping off and on. He bathed both dogs, and then I gave them their monthly flea meds, a chewable pill. We see no sign of fleas, but both of them are scratching a lot, and we're not sure if it's the shampoo, the dry air here, allergies, or what.
In the afternoon we tackled the Medicare issue. We realized his meds are going to cost more next year with his current supplement, so we went online to review the options for his coverage. We found a great variety, whittling the list down to 3 possibles. Monday he will call his current PCP and see if they take any of these plans, and then he will have to decide which one to switch to. If the doc doesn't take any of these, then J has to decide if it's worth it to change plans. I'd hate to lose this doc, personally, but maybe it won't have to happen.
This afternoon we plan to do the same with our auto insurance. Currently we have it bundled with the house-in-Oregon's insurance, but since we no longer own that house, we need to change. The insurance there is not a national provider, so that means we look around here, just for car insurance.
Also this afternoon, BIL will come by and help J with removing the plywood they used to board up the windows before the hurricane; since we don't have a shed, we have no place to store it all, and so BIL offered to store it in their storage unit for us. What a generous offer! I'm so thrilled not to see these constant visual reminders of what happened to us.
The piles of scrap metal and the last of the debris were all picked up last Wednesday, so our front yard is clean and empty for the first time in many weeks. Such a relief not to have to see that all the time. Slowly we are recovering.
Next week we return to 5 full days, and I will have no more time off until the Friday before Christmas. I'm looking forward to decorating the house this year. We will get a Christmas tree next payday, and then I can get started.
Feeling pretty blessed here, these days. My usual sense of profound gratitude is returning.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Sunday
This week was much better.
We are adjusting to a new reality: T as president-elect. This is frightening to me, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. One of my cousins signed me up to a "secret" group on Facebook called Pantsuit Nation. This is where Clinton supporters can go to express fears, or preferably, share stories about how they in their own worlds, their own lives, are fighting back against T's hatred agenda. It's inspiring and reassuring to hear how many thousands of people of all kinds are sickened and horrified by this election, and sharing how they are showing support to the ones he is attacking. I'm never going to be okay with this president, no matter what he does. It's the first time I've ever been so frightened of the next four years.
I've had two nightmares this week, both dealing with the election result; one even had Putin playing a starring role, insisting forcefully that I give up all my jewelry to him. The other one was a tall dark-suited man standing outside my living room window looking in at me, reaching for the door handle. In the dream I was both unable to speak and unable to move, and this powerful dread was what woke me, in tears.
A political cartoon I saw this week showed a frightened young child in her dark bedroom with a horrible monster standing very close to her. In the lighted open doorway her father is saying "I know you're frightened but he's in the room now, let's just give him a chance"... I'm paraphrasing but the gist of this is so true. I think it's supposed to be funny?? But I don't see the humor. It's too close to reality.
Wednesday morning I had a new patient exam with my new dentist; it's right across the hallway from my own pain management office. I'm going back for a cleaning in two weeks, but they really worried me: one, they were concerned with how small my mouth is, how they will work in there. I agreed that yes, it's been a problem my whole life, and said believe me it's very painful for me too, twice every damn year. Two, I apparently need a crown replaced and the back tooth right next to it needs a replacement filling, as it's still silver and there is decay starting.
Well, that ain't happening, folks. We are too far in debt, and this is not an emergency. I've never been told this was a problem before either. I hate settling in with new providers--especially dentists. Damn, I hate dentists. I will wait until the next cleaning sometime next summer, and see what has happened by then. I explained I couldn't afford it just then and they were fine with that.
Later that day after work, Sis, BIL, J and me all jumped in BIL's vehicle and drove down to Orlando for the concert. I vastly underestimated the amount of security at the venue, and ended up having to drink my water bottle of wine right at the entrance, as they wouldn't let me bring it in. I also underestimated the effect it would have on me, and therefore had a glass of white wine once inside and at our seats.
Big mistake. I really, really enjoyed the music, and had a fabulous time. But somewhere before the end of the show all that wine hit me hard, and I got pretty drunk-sick. I was very embarrassed, very humiliated, and very apologetic. Once at home I was miserable, and J took such good care of me. Thankfully I didn't have to work the next day. There was no way I could have worked anyway, but at least I didn't have to call in sick. I was pretty hungover. Sigh.
By Friday I was feeling much better. One of my coworkers was sick with a respiratory thing and also had pink eye, so naturally she showed up to work! We complained --nicely--to our manager and the coworker was sent home after that. I hope I don't get either of those! Even though Friday is our busiest day, none of us wanted her there in her condition.
This weekend I did go to my meeting on Saturday morning, and afterwards, Sis picked me up at home. We went to Lowe's and Target together. We had such fun, even though we were both dealing with less-than-positive moods. I think we were able to help each other, talk things through, discuss our separate issues. It's such a comfort to be together, and I was glad to hear her say that too.
At Lowe's there was a fruit tree section. I found the last peach tree, easily 10 feet tall, already flowering. (I cannot get used to the idea of planting in the fall!) We are finally discussing and considering what to plant at our house, and this tree, despite its size was only $60. (We paid that much for the exact same peach tree in Oregon, but it was only about 3 feet tall, bare-branched, and we just had to hope it would produce --which it eventually did.)
I really wanted to buy it, but I didn't feel right about spending that kind of money without discussing it with J first, so I didn't. I did buy one poinsettia plant, and a couple of African Violets for a dollar each from the Clearance section. I put them in new clay pots when we got home and they are doing beautifully today.
But when Sis and I got home and I told J about the tree, he got all excited too. After Sis left, we drove back over to Lowe's, so he could see it. We walked around and considered, and ended up not buying it. However, today after Pilates, we drove back and bought a raspberry bush, two blueberry bushes, and a fig tree, all in gallon containers. Much cheaper here than in Oregon, too.
J will dig holes for them tomorrow, and plant them in our new sunnier back yard. Over the past week he has moved both cut-log piles to different areas, and organized the work shop (again), and scavenged left-over wooden fences to use in our own property. He also does all the cooking, and cleaning, cleans the pool every day, and walks the dogs in the morning. He is amazing. I just cannot imagine my life without him.
It's been so much cooler the past few days--so amazing. This morning was actually 49 degrees. Tonight is supposed to be cooler still...we are wearing long pants, and long-sleeved tshirts, and even have a couple of blankets on the bed. We turned on the heat this morning, first time. J checked the fireplace and it's definitely usable...Fall in Florida. Sunny, and cooler. But it should be in the low 80s by Thanksgiving again.
This week my doc is out tomorrow, and so I will only see him Tuesday in clinic. I have Wednesday off, which will give me 5 whole days off in a row. Can't wait.
I will start decorating for Christmas, both inside and out. Christmas in Florida: palm trees, egrets, sunshine, flowers, exotic birds. People driving in convertibles, wearing shorts and sandals. If anyone had told me 5 years ago I'd be living here...never would have believed it.
Life is good, despite the world's worries.
We are adjusting to a new reality: T as president-elect. This is frightening to me, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. One of my cousins signed me up to a "secret" group on Facebook called Pantsuit Nation. This is where Clinton supporters can go to express fears, or preferably, share stories about how they in their own worlds, their own lives, are fighting back against T's hatred agenda. It's inspiring and reassuring to hear how many thousands of people of all kinds are sickened and horrified by this election, and sharing how they are showing support to the ones he is attacking. I'm never going to be okay with this president, no matter what he does. It's the first time I've ever been so frightened of the next four years.
I've had two nightmares this week, both dealing with the election result; one even had Putin playing a starring role, insisting forcefully that I give up all my jewelry to him. The other one was a tall dark-suited man standing outside my living room window looking in at me, reaching for the door handle. In the dream I was both unable to speak and unable to move, and this powerful dread was what woke me, in tears.
A political cartoon I saw this week showed a frightened young child in her dark bedroom with a horrible monster standing very close to her. In the lighted open doorway her father is saying "I know you're frightened but he's in the room now, let's just give him a chance"... I'm paraphrasing but the gist of this is so true. I think it's supposed to be funny?? But I don't see the humor. It's too close to reality.
Wednesday morning I had a new patient exam with my new dentist; it's right across the hallway from my own pain management office. I'm going back for a cleaning in two weeks, but they really worried me: one, they were concerned with how small my mouth is, how they will work in there. I agreed that yes, it's been a problem my whole life, and said believe me it's very painful for me too, twice every damn year. Two, I apparently need a crown replaced and the back tooth right next to it needs a replacement filling, as it's still silver and there is decay starting.
Well, that ain't happening, folks. We are too far in debt, and this is not an emergency. I've never been told this was a problem before either. I hate settling in with new providers--especially dentists. Damn, I hate dentists. I will wait until the next cleaning sometime next summer, and see what has happened by then. I explained I couldn't afford it just then and they were fine with that.
Later that day after work, Sis, BIL, J and me all jumped in BIL's vehicle and drove down to Orlando for the concert. I vastly underestimated the amount of security at the venue, and ended up having to drink my water bottle of wine right at the entrance, as they wouldn't let me bring it in. I also underestimated the effect it would have on me, and therefore had a glass of white wine once inside and at our seats.
Big mistake. I really, really enjoyed the music, and had a fabulous time. But somewhere before the end of the show all that wine hit me hard, and I got pretty drunk-sick. I was very embarrassed, very humiliated, and very apologetic. Once at home I was miserable, and J took such good care of me. Thankfully I didn't have to work the next day. There was no way I could have worked anyway, but at least I didn't have to call in sick. I was pretty hungover. Sigh.
By Friday I was feeling much better. One of my coworkers was sick with a respiratory thing and also had pink eye, so naturally she showed up to work! We complained --nicely--to our manager and the coworker was sent home after that. I hope I don't get either of those! Even though Friday is our busiest day, none of us wanted her there in her condition.
This weekend I did go to my meeting on Saturday morning, and afterwards, Sis picked me up at home. We went to Lowe's and Target together. We had such fun, even though we were both dealing with less-than-positive moods. I think we were able to help each other, talk things through, discuss our separate issues. It's such a comfort to be together, and I was glad to hear her say that too.
At Lowe's there was a fruit tree section. I found the last peach tree, easily 10 feet tall, already flowering. (I cannot get used to the idea of planting in the fall!) We are finally discussing and considering what to plant at our house, and this tree, despite its size was only $60. (We paid that much for the exact same peach tree in Oregon, but it was only about 3 feet tall, bare-branched, and we just had to hope it would produce --which it eventually did.)
I really wanted to buy it, but I didn't feel right about spending that kind of money without discussing it with J first, so I didn't. I did buy one poinsettia plant, and a couple of African Violets for a dollar each from the Clearance section. I put them in new clay pots when we got home and they are doing beautifully today.
But when Sis and I got home and I told J about the tree, he got all excited too. After Sis left, we drove back over to Lowe's, so he could see it. We walked around and considered, and ended up not buying it. However, today after Pilates, we drove back and bought a raspberry bush, two blueberry bushes, and a fig tree, all in gallon containers. Much cheaper here than in Oregon, too.
J will dig holes for them tomorrow, and plant them in our new sunnier back yard. Over the past week he has moved both cut-log piles to different areas, and organized the work shop (again), and scavenged left-over wooden fences to use in our own property. He also does all the cooking, and cleaning, cleans the pool every day, and walks the dogs in the morning. He is amazing. I just cannot imagine my life without him.
It's been so much cooler the past few days--so amazing. This morning was actually 49 degrees. Tonight is supposed to be cooler still...we are wearing long pants, and long-sleeved tshirts, and even have a couple of blankets on the bed. We turned on the heat this morning, first time. J checked the fireplace and it's definitely usable...Fall in Florida. Sunny, and cooler. But it should be in the low 80s by Thanksgiving again.
This week my doc is out tomorrow, and so I will only see him Tuesday in clinic. I have Wednesday off, which will give me 5 whole days off in a row. Can't wait.
I will start decorating for Christmas, both inside and out. Christmas in Florida: palm trees, egrets, sunshine, flowers, exotic birds. People driving in convertibles, wearing shorts and sandals. If anyone had told me 5 years ago I'd be living here...never would have believed it.
Life is good, despite the world's worries.
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Sunday
This has been a long and very hard week to get through. I'm glad it's over, and glad we can start a new week. Theoretically one can start fresh every day, and I do, but sometimes bad things happen in series, and that was what this week felt like.
Working backwards in time: this morning we are rearranging/removing furniture in preparation for receiving some new-to-us furniture. Bro and SIL are giving us some furniture they no longer have need for, and we are thrilled to accept it. They would otherwise be donating it to Habitat, so I am excited to give it a new home here, keeping it "in the family" so to speak. A beautiful love seat, a small end table, a bed with a headboard, foot board and boxsprings--we will supply the queen mattress at some point, and a wooden cabinet. In addition we ended up with a small birdbath, and a beautiful framed mirror. In the process of opening the double front door to set the current sofa outside (before deciding to either donate that or just set it on the curb), the door...broke...at the base. J's priority now is working on fixing that. Sigh. We--meaning he-- will have to decide if we/he can fix the door, or whether it needs to actually be replaced. Not that we have the budget for a new front door, of course.
Then we went to Pilates, Sis' class. My headache is much improved, but the past couple of classes I'm noticing nausea with certain positions. When that happens I just stop doing the exercise, and concentrate on not throwing up; when it passes I go back to doing the positions. I do as much as I can. Meanwhile J waited for me, playing chess on his phone.
Then we drove to Bro and SIL's storage unit, and loaded up our new goodies; our truck was full and so was theirs. We caravanned back to the house and unloaded.
After the new furniture was inside J went to Bro and SIL's to cut down a tree for them; meanwhile I had a great time "nesting", experimenting with different looks. At one point there was a lot of bird noise so I went to the window and saw not one but two Painted Buntings at my very own feeder! I've never seen them in my life. They are just stunning birds. We also have seen cardinals, woodpeckers, titmice, Wilson's warblers, Jays, mourning doves, and some kind of wren. Of course the squirrels here are also expecting to be fed. I see bats at night, and I hear owls in the early morning. Egrets, eagles, and ospreys fly over, hawks and vultures too. Last week by the retention pond near my work, I saw a turkey, and Friday night as it was getting darker we saw possums and raccoons. Surprisingly, there's a lot of wildlife in this urban area.
Yesterday I woke at 4am with a bad headache, took two Excedrin, and then 3 hours later took a stronger med. Nothing, no relief at all. J called the towing company at 8am, and met them at the Caddy, and then followed them to the shop where it will be fixed. I decided to pass on my AlAnon meeting, instead going then with J to meet Bro and SIL at their storage unit to look at the prospective new furniture despite the headache.
Then we went to Goodwill, because J desperately needs new long pants now that the days are cooling off--he has none except stained work pants-- and also a different pair of footwear, as he has worn a hole through one of his two existing pairs. I personally was dreading this trip even before the headache because J does not like spending money on clothes, and grumbles about the costs, even at Goodwill. But it was a Necessary Expense. So we both gritted our teeth and plunged into the search.
Amazingly he found two pairs of jeans the right size, in excellent shape, which fit him perfectly. He also found a brand new pair ofsneakers athletic shoes, which are perfect for his feet. And I pounced on a lightweight faux-silk robe, looking English in design and color, which I have been wanting for him, instead of his heavyweight winter bathrobe... These 4 items were $27. I am thrilled. So was he. Then home to another pain pill, a grilled cheese sandwich and then both of us took naps.
Later he assembled a home-made pizza, and we headed over to Sis and BIL's house for a birthday dinner for Bro; the dogs were invited too, and had a blast. Bro and SIL brought rigatoni which she made, and Sis made roasted veggies and provided a gorgeous chocolate birthday cake. It was a happy evening, sitting outside near the fire, a lovely cool night, plenty of wine and champagne and birthday wishes. The first birthday we have celebrated together in over 40 years. Amazing. J and I were home in bed by 9:15, feeling like it had been a late night!
The day before, Friday, was the usual Hell At Work. Two providers in the office seeing patients, keeping three CMA's scrambling to keep up, and it just feels like chaos all day long. My hand was aching from the door-slamming incident Thursday night--more on that later.
I left work at 4:30 and went right to TJMaxx to replace my disreputable worn out lunch bag; it's about 2 miles west of my workplace on an extremely busy 6-lane road. When I left the store and got back in the car, it was immediately apparent something was wrong--it felt like the car was restrained somehow, like the emergency brake was on. Except it wasn't. Then smoke started coming out from under the hood on both sides. I looked for a place to pull over out of the way, and ended up in the access alley behind the stores. I put the flashers on and called J. No answer.
Later we determined he hadn't heard the phone because his ringer was turned down. SIGH. I left a message, and then called my sister. She immediately offered to come and get me. I tried calling J again, in the middle of which he called me back, wondering where I was... Long story short, J did come finally, did a few tests, and he thinks it's the power steering. He drove it around to the front of the shopping center and left it parked under a bright light in front of Home Depot, verifying with the manager that it would be okay there. Then he walked all the way back to where I was waiting in the truck, and we drove home.
We had a light dinner, and lots of wine! Bed early with the windows open--the nights are finally cool enough to do this, and not use the AC. So nice!
Thursday was a great day at work until the end of the day around 4, when I was trying to pull a pocket door out to shut it. It was stuck, and so I gave it a yank and it shot home, catching my left hand between it and the door frame. It honestly didn't hurt right away; the door bounced off the frame and I snatched my hand back, thinking whoa, that was close. A couple of minutes later my hand started feeling tight, and I looked at it. A huge hematoma was forming, walnut-sized, on the back of my hand.
My coworkers and each of the Drs looked at my hand, shocked and impressed at the size. I was sent to the Urgent Care next door, where xrays were taken and it was determined not to be broken, but only a contusion; then it was wrapped up. I had texted J that I was going to be late getting home due to having to go to the urgent care, and he immediately rushed over to wait with me. He followed me home, and once again, we had wine and a light dinner, and bed early. (Today it's a lovely dark purplish/reddish color, but the swelling has gone way down.)
Wednesday of course we were dealing with the Election result. Neither of us had stayed up to watch. But when I woke up that morning and was shuffling to the bathroom half-awake, J called out to me from the kitchen where he was preparing breakfast for the dogs and for us, "It's Trump." I looked at him, sure that he was joking, saying "Ha Ha." He said, "I'm serious. Trump won. Hillary lost. She's conceded." I shook my head, refusing to deal with it until I was more awake, but as I did my shower and morning stuff, my mind kept going back to his words. HOLY SHIT. HOW can this have happened?? WHAT THE HELL. (I could hear Linus' voice in my head, wide-eyed, fearfully murmuring "We're DOOMed.")
No one at work wanted to talk about the election, but in between patients I would scan the Google news headlines, looking for answers. I know everyone was feeling utter and complete shock, at the stunning win. It appears Trump really didn't expect to win either, and now is facing the reality of running the country.
What burns me the most is that statistic I read: 46% of the country didn't even vote. And 25.7% voted for Hillary, while a fraction less, 25.6% voted for Trump. The electoral college system is a joke.
Shock, grief, deep sadness, fear, disbelief: this is certainly a different nation than I thought we had... I'm torn between feeling sick when watching the news and seeing his face, and then I think I just cannot bear to watch this anymore, for my own sanity. Do I want to know, or do I want to preserve what's left of my peace of mind. Let. Me. Think.
Coming on the heels of the hurricane it feels like I'm worn through. I'm so tired. Getting to sleep and staying asleep is not a guarantee for me, and when I do sleep, it doesn't feel as though I'm rested.
Wednesday I also had my annual exam with my new doc. I'm fine. I have some weird heart-thumping spells, but she said that was nothing to be concerned about unless they are more frequent or I have other symptoms. She checked out two skin spots I was concerned with and these are harmless. And I don't need a mammogram except every other year now, until I'm 65, at which point I can stop entirely. She refilled my headache meds, and I'm good now--she is not going to give me a problem with refills of those. Phew.
There is good news too, this week. We received two checks from the car insurance people, most of which has gone into savings for now, and some of which J has spent on replacement parts to the chain link fences. He has almost got them completely repaired. He did order a part for the Caddy, and some of this also now will go for this new repair. We are still waiting for the roofer's estimate, and until we get that we don't get money from the house insurance.
The final paperwork was signed and shipped back to Oregon, for the Oak Creek house. We no longer own it; it's cleaned out and emptied, our wonderful life there is now part of our past. It's sort of a relief, because we couldn't afford the property taxes and flood insurance on it now, anyway. As little as it was, it's $2300 we don't have.
Financing our life here is a priority. We re-ran the numbers again, and on paper we don't have a problem, so somehow we are being sloppy? Careless? Spending too much? It sure doesn't feel like it but once again we confirmed we have about $500 extra each month after all bills are paid, and that will go to paying off the credit cards each damn month until it's done. (But then we have emergencies like hurricanes, or car repairs, or lost eyeglasses...arghh. )
The weather here has turned, finally. November in FL is a heavenly change. Days of sunshine and brilliant blue skies, temps in the mid 70s. Night temps fall to the mid 60s, and yesterday it was even down to 59 degrees. Cool enough for an extra blanket for J, who feels the cold worse because of his medication.
The back yard and side yards are looking so much less destroyed; there is so much more light, and clean-up has been coming right along. Soon we can think about what to plant for covering the chain link fence. Next week begins what the city calls the "Final Debris pick-up", so today we will hustle to get the last of the piles out there to the curb.
We are debating on what to do with the enclosure. We cannot afford to rebuild it, and bids for attempts to fix it haven't been successful or do-able in terms of cost. I think J is focusing now more on removing it entirely. He originally thought he could straighten out the bent support frames, but now...I don't think that's going to be an option. Maybe someday we can replace one.
He also will need to re-build the foundation for the shed, and eventually we will put up a new one. I'm getting frustrated with having our big tools either on the pool's deck area or in the house, but J just doesn't feel it's safe to leave those tools outside without being locked up. I keep reminding myself it's temporary, and we are certainly not the only ones storing stuff in places other than a shed. A garage would have been nice, but we don't have one of those either.
Life is certainly busy enough. Never a dull moment.
Wednesday after work we will drive down to Orlando with Sis and BIL, to see a concert. I'm pretty excited about this, because it will be the first show I've seen in a looong time, since April when Sis and I saw "Janis". I love the Doobie Brothers, having seen them 4 times before; it's always an excellent and fun show. I arranged to have the next day off, so that will be nice not to have to worry about getting up after so little sleep!
The following week is Thanksgiving. Us women have begun planning already, and that will be wonderful: we will all celebrate in our house, and each of us will be responsible for certain portions of the meal. I have the day before Turkey Day off work, and so that gives me 5 days off in a row. Whoo-hoo! I haven't told J this yet, wanting to make it a surprise. He will love this. Maybe we can take a drive to a national park, or something special like that. We will figure it out.
Must go keep an eye on J as he is outside climbing the ladder. I'm actively working on looking for the positive stuff, and actually feel much better about Life after writing, purging,whining venting. TYG.
Working backwards in time: this morning we are rearranging/removing furniture in preparation for receiving some new-to-us furniture. Bro and SIL are giving us some furniture they no longer have need for, and we are thrilled to accept it. They would otherwise be donating it to Habitat, so I am excited to give it a new home here, keeping it "in the family" so to speak. A beautiful love seat, a small end table, a bed with a headboard, foot board and boxsprings--we will supply the queen mattress at some point, and a wooden cabinet. In addition we ended up with a small birdbath, and a beautiful framed mirror. In the process of opening the double front door to set the current sofa outside (before deciding to either donate that or just set it on the curb), the door...broke...at the base. J's priority now is working on fixing that. Sigh. We--meaning he-- will have to decide if we/he can fix the door, or whether it needs to actually be replaced. Not that we have the budget for a new front door, of course.
Then we went to Pilates, Sis' class. My headache is much improved, but the past couple of classes I'm noticing nausea with certain positions. When that happens I just stop doing the exercise, and concentrate on not throwing up; when it passes I go back to doing the positions. I do as much as I can. Meanwhile J waited for me, playing chess on his phone.
Then we drove to Bro and SIL's storage unit, and loaded up our new goodies; our truck was full and so was theirs. We caravanned back to the house and unloaded.
After the new furniture was inside J went to Bro and SIL's to cut down a tree for them; meanwhile I had a great time "nesting", experimenting with different looks. At one point there was a lot of bird noise so I went to the window and saw not one but two Painted Buntings at my very own feeder! I've never seen them in my life. They are just stunning birds. We also have seen cardinals, woodpeckers, titmice, Wilson's warblers, Jays, mourning doves, and some kind of wren. Of course the squirrels here are also expecting to be fed. I see bats at night, and I hear owls in the early morning. Egrets, eagles, and ospreys fly over, hawks and vultures too. Last week by the retention pond near my work, I saw a turkey, and Friday night as it was getting darker we saw possums and raccoons. Surprisingly, there's a lot of wildlife in this urban area.
Yesterday I woke at 4am with a bad headache, took two Excedrin, and then 3 hours later took a stronger med. Nothing, no relief at all. J called the towing company at 8am, and met them at the Caddy, and then followed them to the shop where it will be fixed. I decided to pass on my AlAnon meeting, instead going then with J to meet Bro and SIL at their storage unit to look at the prospective new furniture despite the headache.
Then we went to Goodwill, because J desperately needs new long pants now that the days are cooling off--he has none except stained work pants-- and also a different pair of footwear, as he has worn a hole through one of his two existing pairs. I personally was dreading this trip even before the headache because J does not like spending money on clothes, and grumbles about the costs, even at Goodwill. But it was a Necessary Expense. So we both gritted our teeth and plunged into the search.
Amazingly he found two pairs of jeans the right size, in excellent shape, which fit him perfectly. He also found a brand new pair of
Later he assembled a home-made pizza, and we headed over to Sis and BIL's house for a birthday dinner for Bro; the dogs were invited too, and had a blast. Bro and SIL brought rigatoni which she made, and Sis made roasted veggies and provided a gorgeous chocolate birthday cake. It was a happy evening, sitting outside near the fire, a lovely cool night, plenty of wine and champagne and birthday wishes. The first birthday we have celebrated together in over 40 years. Amazing. J and I were home in bed by 9:15, feeling like it had been a late night!
The day before, Friday, was the usual Hell At Work. Two providers in the office seeing patients, keeping three CMA's scrambling to keep up, and it just feels like chaos all day long. My hand was aching from the door-slamming incident Thursday night--more on that later.
I left work at 4:30 and went right to TJMaxx to replace my disreputable worn out lunch bag; it's about 2 miles west of my workplace on an extremely busy 6-lane road. When I left the store and got back in the car, it was immediately apparent something was wrong--it felt like the car was restrained somehow, like the emergency brake was on. Except it wasn't. Then smoke started coming out from under the hood on both sides. I looked for a place to pull over out of the way, and ended up in the access alley behind the stores. I put the flashers on and called J. No answer.
Later we determined he hadn't heard the phone because his ringer was turned down. SIGH. I left a message, and then called my sister. She immediately offered to come and get me. I tried calling J again, in the middle of which he called me back, wondering where I was... Long story short, J did come finally, did a few tests, and he thinks it's the power steering. He drove it around to the front of the shopping center and left it parked under a bright light in front of Home Depot, verifying with the manager that it would be okay there. Then he walked all the way back to where I was waiting in the truck, and we drove home.
We had a light dinner, and lots of wine! Bed early with the windows open--the nights are finally cool enough to do this, and not use the AC. So nice!
Thursday was a great day at work until the end of the day around 4, when I was trying to pull a pocket door out to shut it. It was stuck, and so I gave it a yank and it shot home, catching my left hand between it and the door frame. It honestly didn't hurt right away; the door bounced off the frame and I snatched my hand back, thinking whoa, that was close. A couple of minutes later my hand started feeling tight, and I looked at it. A huge hematoma was forming, walnut-sized, on the back of my hand.
My coworkers and each of the Drs looked at my hand, shocked and impressed at the size. I was sent to the Urgent Care next door, where xrays were taken and it was determined not to be broken, but only a contusion; then it was wrapped up. I had texted J that I was going to be late getting home due to having to go to the urgent care, and he immediately rushed over to wait with me. He followed me home, and once again, we had wine and a light dinner, and bed early. (Today it's a lovely dark purplish/reddish color, but the swelling has gone way down.)
Wednesday of course we were dealing with the Election result. Neither of us had stayed up to watch. But when I woke up that morning and was shuffling to the bathroom half-awake, J called out to me from the kitchen where he was preparing breakfast for the dogs and for us, "It's Trump." I looked at him, sure that he was joking, saying "Ha Ha." He said, "I'm serious. Trump won. Hillary lost. She's conceded." I shook my head, refusing to deal with it until I was more awake, but as I did my shower and morning stuff, my mind kept going back to his words. HOLY SHIT. HOW can this have happened?? WHAT THE HELL. (I could hear Linus' voice in my head, wide-eyed, fearfully murmuring "We're DOOMed.")
No one at work wanted to talk about the election, but in between patients I would scan the Google news headlines, looking for answers. I know everyone was feeling utter and complete shock, at the stunning win. It appears Trump really didn't expect to win either, and now is facing the reality of running the country.
What burns me the most is that statistic I read: 46% of the country didn't even vote. And 25.7% voted for Hillary, while a fraction less, 25.6% voted for Trump. The electoral college system is a joke.
Shock, grief, deep sadness, fear, disbelief: this is certainly a different nation than I thought we had... I'm torn between feeling sick when watching the news and seeing his face, and then I think I just cannot bear to watch this anymore, for my own sanity. Do I want to know, or do I want to preserve what's left of my peace of mind. Let. Me. Think.
Coming on the heels of the hurricane it feels like I'm worn through. I'm so tired. Getting to sleep and staying asleep is not a guarantee for me, and when I do sleep, it doesn't feel as though I'm rested.
Wednesday I also had my annual exam with my new doc. I'm fine. I have some weird heart-thumping spells, but she said that was nothing to be concerned about unless they are more frequent or I have other symptoms. She checked out two skin spots I was concerned with and these are harmless. And I don't need a mammogram except every other year now, until I'm 65, at which point I can stop entirely. She refilled my headache meds, and I'm good now--she is not going to give me a problem with refills of those. Phew.
There is good news too, this week. We received two checks from the car insurance people, most of which has gone into savings for now, and some of which J has spent on replacement parts to the chain link fences. He has almost got them completely repaired. He did order a part for the Caddy, and some of this also now will go for this new repair. We are still waiting for the roofer's estimate, and until we get that we don't get money from the house insurance.
The final paperwork was signed and shipped back to Oregon, for the Oak Creek house. We no longer own it; it's cleaned out and emptied, our wonderful life there is now part of our past. It's sort of a relief, because we couldn't afford the property taxes and flood insurance on it now, anyway. As little as it was, it's $2300 we don't have.
Financing our life here is a priority. We re-ran the numbers again, and on paper we don't have a problem, so somehow we are being sloppy? Careless? Spending too much? It sure doesn't feel like it but once again we confirmed we have about $500 extra each month after all bills are paid, and that will go to paying off the credit cards each damn month until it's done. (But then we have emergencies like hurricanes, or car repairs, or lost eyeglasses...arghh. )
The weather here has turned, finally. November in FL is a heavenly change. Days of sunshine and brilliant blue skies, temps in the mid 70s. Night temps fall to the mid 60s, and yesterday it was even down to 59 degrees. Cool enough for an extra blanket for J, who feels the cold worse because of his medication.
The back yard and side yards are looking so much less destroyed; there is so much more light, and clean-up has been coming right along. Soon we can think about what to plant for covering the chain link fence. Next week begins what the city calls the "Final Debris pick-up", so today we will hustle to get the last of the piles out there to the curb.
We are debating on what to do with the enclosure. We cannot afford to rebuild it, and bids for attempts to fix it haven't been successful or do-able in terms of cost. I think J is focusing now more on removing it entirely. He originally thought he could straighten out the bent support frames, but now...I don't think that's going to be an option. Maybe someday we can replace one.
He also will need to re-build the foundation for the shed, and eventually we will put up a new one. I'm getting frustrated with having our big tools either on the pool's deck area or in the house, but J just doesn't feel it's safe to leave those tools outside without being locked up. I keep reminding myself it's temporary, and we are certainly not the only ones storing stuff in places other than a shed. A garage would have been nice, but we don't have one of those either.
Life is certainly busy enough. Never a dull moment.
Wednesday after work we will drive down to Orlando with Sis and BIL, to see a concert. I'm pretty excited about this, because it will be the first show I've seen in a looong time, since April when Sis and I saw "Janis". I love the Doobie Brothers, having seen them 4 times before; it's always an excellent and fun show. I arranged to have the next day off, so that will be nice not to have to worry about getting up after so little sleep!
The following week is Thanksgiving. Us women have begun planning already, and that will be wonderful: we will all celebrate in our house, and each of us will be responsible for certain portions of the meal. I have the day before Turkey Day off work, and so that gives me 5 days off in a row. Whoo-hoo! I haven't told J this yet, wanting to make it a surprise. He will love this. Maybe we can take a drive to a national park, or something special like that. We will figure it out.
Must go keep an eye on J as he is outside climbing the ladder. I'm actively working on looking for the positive stuff, and actually feel much better about Life after writing, purging,
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Sunday
The PA is doing well. He had his bypass surgery Wednesday morning after his labs were all cleared, and Thursday morning he called us, complaining about the food! He had already been up and walking two times, and was getting ready for his third walk that day--not a great distance, mind you, but still. This is one day after open-heart surgery. I was pretty impressed. A couple of co-workers went to see him after work, and the photos are astonishing. He's doing well. He won't be returning to work until January, if then.
Halloween at work was fun-- no one remembered to get a group photo, but a co-worker got individual shots of a few of us, and she put that on Facebook. Halloween at home was fun too: my sister came over to spend the evening. Between the almost-constant visitors knocking on the door and certain severe issues I'd been having with my phone (which she was attempting for fix for me) we kept busy. The dogs exploded into shrill barks with every knock but by the end of the evening they were pretty much over it, not even getting to their feet anymore.
J would answer each knock by giving a low menacing laugh in response/ greeting. Then he would open the door, wearing his top hat which had a black bat perched on top. Hanging around his neck collar was a black and orange furry spider stretched about a foot across his shirt. One little visitor shrieked loudly and cried "Who are you??" It was fun to hear him speaking to the little ones, and reassuring the parents who waited in the background.
Meanwhile my patient sister was trying her best to fix the phone issue. After a couple of hours she gave up, promising to come back another night to try something else after she had researched the problem.
At around 8:30 we turned off the outside lights, signalling the end of passing out candy. Things quieted down considerably, and Sis went home. My daughter had called too, and it was fun to talk with her despite her sad mood. (Later in the week I spoke with her again, and that call was very different: she is no longer at her pre-school job but had a promising interview scheduled for the next day.)
J has been dealing with insurance companies, and getting estimates for various repairs, and taking care of ongoing clean up issues outside. During the week we got a check from the Oregon insurance company which was meant to take care of the dent in the Caddy, but I actually think we are going to just deposit it, and then apply it toward one of the credit cards, so we can get out of debt. J did buy some tools at Home Depot with some of that money, but two of the three broke!! So tomorrow he will be returning those. There will be a separate check for the cab replacement on the truck, but J told me today he was thinking about repairing the leak issue himself, and again putting the insurance money toward the debt.
He also took care of the neighbor's giant branch hanging over our roof, by himself. I got a text message from him Thursday morning while I was hugely busy at work, and it began, "Now don't be mad..." and there were photos of that limb, the one which had crashed down between our houses, resting on our roof. He had climbed up on our roof and begun chainsawing that limb. At some point he had cut enough branches that it was no longer supported by our roof--and it fell. It narrowly missed the neighbor's window, but hey, a miss is as good as a mile, so they say.
When I got home, I couldn't decide whether to be proud of him, or scared that something could have happened, or angry that he had attempted it at all! This was the job we'd gotten estimates for ranging from $1400 to $500. So J just did it himself, and then told the neighbor Rick that he had saved them each $250 by doing this.
One other bit of news: on Tuesday morning I was standing with my doc as he was telling me what to write in a chart (on the computer). His cell phone began ringing and after checking who it was from he did answer, only to learn that his brother had just died. He had had health issues, so this wasn't entirely unexpected, but still, it was a terrible shock. He was in tears off and on throughout the rest of the day, sometimes having to stop what he was doing to go to his office and be alone. The poor guy: he stuck it out all day, seeing all his patients. We all felt so sorry for him, and there is nothing you can do except let him know you're thinking of him. The brother had been living in Tampa, a two-hour drive away. My doc stayed in the office for the rest of the week, seeing his patients. The services were held this weekend.
This coming week I have an appt with my own doc as a follow up. I'm not expecting any problems. J has an appt with his eyeglasses place, for a final fitting.
The noise he was hearing in the car was checked out, and determined to be nothing to worry about. Thankful for that! And one morning he was walking the dogs around the neighborhood, and found some plants someone had put out on the curb. He went home and got his truck and brought home those plants. Today we planted them in a giant pot my sister has lent us, and when they are firmly settled we will plant them by the mailbox.
The big debris pile was finally taken away this week! It looks so different now-- that whole area has dead grass beneath; also no one has taken away the scrap metal pile yet. But soon enough all of the trash will be taken anyway. Garbage pick up here is three times weekly, and you can put anything out on the curb--it will be taken away, no problem.
J also bought some chain link replacement parts this week, and re-built the one back side along the eastern side of the house. Next he will remove the giant logs which have smashed the western sides' fencing, and then he will replace that side. Slowly, slowly the back yard is beginning to look like our "new normal". He is a very hard worker. It will never look the same as when we bought it, but it will do.
We also discovered there has been some roof damage, where the roof connects with the pool enclosure. So we are waiting for the roof person to show up too, and will add that cost to into the estimate. There's no leak, but it's just a bowed shape, meaning it won't be possible to just re-build the enclosure onto it. I don't understand it all, but it's just one more thing to have repaired.
It's almost 5, and I am tired. Woke up at 5 this morning, realized I hadn't set the clocks back so I tried to go back to sleep--but I couldn't. It's a beautiful day, and I'm grateful I could be outside. Weekends go by so quickly!
Halloween at work was fun-- no one remembered to get a group photo, but a co-worker got individual shots of a few of us, and she put that on Facebook. Halloween at home was fun too: my sister came over to spend the evening. Between the almost-constant visitors knocking on the door and certain severe issues I'd been having with my phone (which she was attempting for fix for me) we kept busy. The dogs exploded into shrill barks with every knock but by the end of the evening they were pretty much over it, not even getting to their feet anymore.
J would answer each knock by giving a low menacing laugh in response/ greeting. Then he would open the door, wearing his top hat which had a black bat perched on top. Hanging around his neck collar was a black and orange furry spider stretched about a foot across his shirt. One little visitor shrieked loudly and cried "Who are you??" It was fun to hear him speaking to the little ones, and reassuring the parents who waited in the background.
Meanwhile my patient sister was trying her best to fix the phone issue. After a couple of hours she gave up, promising to come back another night to try something else after she had researched the problem.
At around 8:30 we turned off the outside lights, signalling the end of passing out candy. Things quieted down considerably, and Sis went home. My daughter had called too, and it was fun to talk with her despite her sad mood. (Later in the week I spoke with her again, and that call was very different: she is no longer at her pre-school job but had a promising interview scheduled for the next day.)
J has been dealing with insurance companies, and getting estimates for various repairs, and taking care of ongoing clean up issues outside. During the week we got a check from the Oregon insurance company which was meant to take care of the dent in the Caddy, but I actually think we are going to just deposit it, and then apply it toward one of the credit cards, so we can get out of debt. J did buy some tools at Home Depot with some of that money, but two of the three broke!! So tomorrow he will be returning those. There will be a separate check for the cab replacement on the truck, but J told me today he was thinking about repairing the leak issue himself, and again putting the insurance money toward the debt.
He also took care of the neighbor's giant branch hanging over our roof, by himself. I got a text message from him Thursday morning while I was hugely busy at work, and it began, "Now don't be mad..." and there were photos of that limb, the one which had crashed down between our houses, resting on our roof. He had climbed up on our roof and begun chainsawing that limb. At some point he had cut enough branches that it was no longer supported by our roof--and it fell. It narrowly missed the neighbor's window, but hey, a miss is as good as a mile, so they say.
When I got home, I couldn't decide whether to be proud of him, or scared that something could have happened, or angry that he had attempted it at all! This was the job we'd gotten estimates for ranging from $1400 to $500. So J just did it himself, and then told the neighbor Rick that he had saved them each $250 by doing this.
One other bit of news: on Tuesday morning I was standing with my doc as he was telling me what to write in a chart (on the computer). His cell phone began ringing and after checking who it was from he did answer, only to learn that his brother had just died. He had had health issues, so this wasn't entirely unexpected, but still, it was a terrible shock. He was in tears off and on throughout the rest of the day, sometimes having to stop what he was doing to go to his office and be alone. The poor guy: he stuck it out all day, seeing all his patients. We all felt so sorry for him, and there is nothing you can do except let him know you're thinking of him. The brother had been living in Tampa, a two-hour drive away. My doc stayed in the office for the rest of the week, seeing his patients. The services were held this weekend.
This coming week I have an appt with my own doc as a follow up. I'm not expecting any problems. J has an appt with his eyeglasses place, for a final fitting.
The noise he was hearing in the car was checked out, and determined to be nothing to worry about. Thankful for that! And one morning he was walking the dogs around the neighborhood, and found some plants someone had put out on the curb. He went home and got his truck and brought home those plants. Today we planted them in a giant pot my sister has lent us, and when they are firmly settled we will plant them by the mailbox.
The big debris pile was finally taken away this week! It looks so different now-- that whole area has dead grass beneath; also no one has taken away the scrap metal pile yet. But soon enough all of the trash will be taken anyway. Garbage pick up here is three times weekly, and you can put anything out on the curb--it will be taken away, no problem.
J also bought some chain link replacement parts this week, and re-built the one back side along the eastern side of the house. Next he will remove the giant logs which have smashed the western sides' fencing, and then he will replace that side. Slowly, slowly the back yard is beginning to look like our "new normal". He is a very hard worker. It will never look the same as when we bought it, but it will do.
We also discovered there has been some roof damage, where the roof connects with the pool enclosure. So we are waiting for the roof person to show up too, and will add that cost to into the estimate. There's no leak, but it's just a bowed shape, meaning it won't be possible to just re-build the enclosure onto it. I don't understand it all, but it's just one more thing to have repaired.
It's almost 5, and I am tired. Woke up at 5 this morning, realized I hadn't set the clocks back so I tried to go back to sleep--but I couldn't. It's a beautiful day, and I'm grateful I could be outside. Weekends go by so quickly!
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Sunday
Another week has passed. Three weeks since the Hurricane. The back yard clean up has really come along, thanks to J. Other than pool clean up daily (just before he leaves to come get me from work he takes the skimmer all around so it will be ready for me) the yard has been his first priority.
The giant logs are now all cut up into rounds, lined along the back fence. The other branches are stacked in several separate piles if they are big enough to be used in the fireplace. Anything smaller has been trucked out to the curb and added to the pile. The crushed metal shed has been torn down completely and cut up. Then it took half an hour to drag all the metal out to the curb, adjoining the wood pile. We are told "scrappers" will come during the darkness and take it all away. Someone is making money; good luck to them!
The next step will be either contriving some kind of a cover for the pool, or repairing the chain link fences on both sides. The long top poles of the fences are all bent and twisted; J says he can remove these and replace them, and then the rest of the fence can be re-set somehow. I'm so grateful he is willing to tackle any job. He is a wonder.
Even after all his labor this morning while I was at Pilates, and after our shared labor removing the metal to the curb, I was bushed by the heat and humidity--but J went then to help our neighbor with his chainsawing! He too is alone in his fix-up process. At one point the neighbor said pleadingly, "Can't we rest for a few minutes? You're like a damn Energizer bunny!! You just keep going and going!" They both had a good laugh, and did another half hour before retreating from the humidity.
My dad was once again completely generous, sending a check to help out. I just can't even think what to say or do to express our awe-filled gratitude. With that check we were able to get the Caddy fixed of one of the major issues; it has another issue which J will investigate tomorrow. I hate it when he says he can hear "something off" in the engine: I sure as hell don't hear it! And he is the one with the hearing problem! The rest of it went to help re-build our depleted savings.
Every time I think we are getting ahead just a bit, something happens. Last weekend J was using the metal rake to fling loads onto the giant pile, and somehow his glasses got caught in a fling---and they disappeared into the pile. Our neighbor helped us to dig, hopelessly looking for them, but they were gone...so the next day he went to a 2-for-$89 place. Of course it ended up costing more than that, but his insurance will cover it. This place did a new exam also, and he is just thrilled with the results.
He also contacted the Oregon house and car insurance which we still have in place during this transition phase of making FL our primary residence. He filed a claim to get the truck's cab repaired/replaced, and also to repair and paint a deep scrape/dent in the Caddy. Insurance will cover both of these, thankfully, due to the Hurricane.
My work continues to be a wonderful place; every week I feel more and more comfortable and grateful that I landed here. My co-workers are amazing. I'm very happy with this group; we laugh, and have our shared jokes, and share our family lives; we all know who has what age kids and/or grandkids, and the pertinent issues in each other's lives. I really am liking this kind of closeness.
That's why it was such a shock to come in Friday morning, ready for a typical difficult day--only to learn that the PA, who is normally the first one in every morning wasn't at his desk. Instead, he had gotten there around 7:15, and felt bad enough that he called 911. The security staff let the EMS in the building...and it turned out he'd had a heart attack. The man is in good shape for age 74, but with at least one stent in his heart. He was taken across the street to the ER in our local hospital, and was later admitted. His briefcase and laptop were open on his desk, and there were signs the EMS had done an EKG, papers scattered on the floor.
I don't know what will happen now of course. By the end of the day we only knew he'd been undergoing testing, and wasn't up for any visitors. We don't expect him back tomorrow, but I guess he could be, depending on what happened yesterday and today.
Scary to get that reminder that anything could happen at anytime to any one of us. It gives you a new appreciation for each day.
Tomorrow is Halloween. At work we finally decided --just on Wednesday --to all be M&Ms. SIGH. So each person wears a designated color t-shirt, and black leggings or yoga pants, and we were each given a white felt trademarked "M" to attach to our own t-shirts. Frankly it was the least expensive and easiest option: these costumes have to be "work appropriate" as well. Naturally there is a contest throughout the company for the best costumes. (My office won the Alzheimer's fund-raising contest last month for having raised the most money. Our prize is being planned: the whole office gets transportation to and lunch at one of the fancy restaurants on the beach--on a work day! )
So tomorrow I will wear a long-sleeved dark green t-shirt, and over it a bright green t-shirt, and my black yoga pants.That will be a nice change from my blue scrubs. After work my sister is coming over to join us for dinner, while we wait to see if we will be handing out candy. We have spent about $20 in candy, and have no idea if anyone will show up. But it's a small residential neighborhood, and while I haven't seen any little kids, you never know.
Last night we -- Sis and BIL, and me and J-- went to Brother and SIL's house for the first Sibling dinner at their new home. Their house is utterly adorable, spotlessly clean and pristine, beautifully decorated in a beach theme with soft blues and greys, and lots of shells, and it has such a peaceful uncluttered atmosphere. The dogs were invited too! They were thrilled to jump into the car and travel with us, and they behaved very well at the new environment.
We all sat outside in front of the little house and had wine and talked and laughed, enjoying the beach breeze. When it got dark, we moved inside; SIL had prepared a yummy spagetti dinner, a green salad, and bread. Dessert was a bundt cake or pumpkin cheesecake, and she had also prepared little Halloween treat bags. They are just awesome hosts. We had a wonderful time, as we always do when we are all together. I think we all feel pretty blessed.
Next weekend is the end of Daylight Savings Time, and then there is the Election. I'm not worried about the election results; it seems pretty obvious that the T-word has become a joke, even among his own party. We have voted back in Oregon, and are just counting down the days until it's finally over. Clinton was in my new hometown yesterday, for a measly 20 minutes, but there was no way for me to get to see her: 900 people were jammed into a site which normally holds 720, and those people had lined up to get in hours ahead of time. I would have liked to participate--but I only have a few precious hours every weekend and didn't want to spend any of those standing in line outside in the heat.
MissS is now completely moved out of the house in OR. It's all very bittersweet. Someone stole the beautiful doll house her dad built for her when she was a small child, thinking it had been abandoned in the carport. MissS is heartbroken. It's all such a difficult transition.
J's ankle is healing slowly, as long as he doesn't overdo--ha!-- and he really is trying to take it easy. He is also trying to remember to move without haste. I'm so grateful he is here, with me, and is such a source of strength and support. TYG.
The giant logs are now all cut up into rounds, lined along the back fence. The other branches are stacked in several separate piles if they are big enough to be used in the fireplace. Anything smaller has been trucked out to the curb and added to the pile. The crushed metal shed has been torn down completely and cut up. Then it took half an hour to drag all the metal out to the curb, adjoining the wood pile. We are told "scrappers" will come during the darkness and take it all away. Someone is making money; good luck to them!
The next step will be either contriving some kind of a cover for the pool, or repairing the chain link fences on both sides. The long top poles of the fences are all bent and twisted; J says he can remove these and replace them, and then the rest of the fence can be re-set somehow. I'm so grateful he is willing to tackle any job. He is a wonder.
Even after all his labor this morning while I was at Pilates, and after our shared labor removing the metal to the curb, I was bushed by the heat and humidity--but J went then to help our neighbor with his chainsawing! He too is alone in his fix-up process. At one point the neighbor said pleadingly, "Can't we rest for a few minutes? You're like a damn Energizer bunny!! You just keep going and going!" They both had a good laugh, and did another half hour before retreating from the humidity.
My dad was once again completely generous, sending a check to help out. I just can't even think what to say or do to express our awe-filled gratitude. With that check we were able to get the Caddy fixed of one of the major issues; it has another issue which J will investigate tomorrow. I hate it when he says he can hear "something off" in the engine: I sure as hell don't hear it! And he is the one with the hearing problem! The rest of it went to help re-build our depleted savings.
Every time I think we are getting ahead just a bit, something happens. Last weekend J was using the metal rake to fling loads onto the giant pile, and somehow his glasses got caught in a fling---and they disappeared into the pile. Our neighbor helped us to dig, hopelessly looking for them, but they were gone...so the next day he went to a 2-for-$89 place. Of course it ended up costing more than that, but his insurance will cover it. This place did a new exam also, and he is just thrilled with the results.
He also contacted the Oregon house and car insurance which we still have in place during this transition phase of making FL our primary residence. He filed a claim to get the truck's cab repaired/replaced, and also to repair and paint a deep scrape/dent in the Caddy. Insurance will cover both of these, thankfully, due to the Hurricane.
My work continues to be a wonderful place; every week I feel more and more comfortable and grateful that I landed here. My co-workers are amazing. I'm very happy with this group; we laugh, and have our shared jokes, and share our family lives; we all know who has what age kids and/or grandkids, and the pertinent issues in each other's lives. I really am liking this kind of closeness.
That's why it was such a shock to come in Friday morning, ready for a typical difficult day--only to learn that the PA, who is normally the first one in every morning wasn't at his desk. Instead, he had gotten there around 7:15, and felt bad enough that he called 911. The security staff let the EMS in the building...and it turned out he'd had a heart attack. The man is in good shape for age 74, but with at least one stent in his heart. He was taken across the street to the ER in our local hospital, and was later admitted. His briefcase and laptop were open on his desk, and there were signs the EMS had done an EKG, papers scattered on the floor.
I don't know what will happen now of course. By the end of the day we only knew he'd been undergoing testing, and wasn't up for any visitors. We don't expect him back tomorrow, but I guess he could be, depending on what happened yesterday and today.
Scary to get that reminder that anything could happen at anytime to any one of us. It gives you a new appreciation for each day.
Tomorrow is Halloween. At work we finally decided --just on Wednesday --to all be M&Ms. SIGH. So each person wears a designated color t-shirt, and black leggings or yoga pants, and we were each given a white felt trademarked "M" to attach to our own t-shirts. Frankly it was the least expensive and easiest option: these costumes have to be "work appropriate" as well. Naturally there is a contest throughout the company for the best costumes. (My office won the Alzheimer's fund-raising contest last month for having raised the most money. Our prize is being planned: the whole office gets transportation to and lunch at one of the fancy restaurants on the beach--on a work day! )
So tomorrow I will wear a long-sleeved dark green t-shirt, and over it a bright green t-shirt, and my black yoga pants.That will be a nice change from my blue scrubs. After work my sister is coming over to join us for dinner, while we wait to see if we will be handing out candy. We have spent about $20 in candy, and have no idea if anyone will show up. But it's a small residential neighborhood, and while I haven't seen any little kids, you never know.
Last night we -- Sis and BIL, and me and J-- went to Brother and SIL's house for the first Sibling dinner at their new home. Their house is utterly adorable, spotlessly clean and pristine, beautifully decorated in a beach theme with soft blues and greys, and lots of shells, and it has such a peaceful uncluttered atmosphere. The dogs were invited too! They were thrilled to jump into the car and travel with us, and they behaved very well at the new environment.
We all sat outside in front of the little house and had wine and talked and laughed, enjoying the beach breeze. When it got dark, we moved inside; SIL had prepared a yummy spagetti dinner, a green salad, and bread. Dessert was a bundt cake or pumpkin cheesecake, and she had also prepared little Halloween treat bags. They are just awesome hosts. We had a wonderful time, as we always do when we are all together. I think we all feel pretty blessed.
Next weekend is the end of Daylight Savings Time, and then there is the Election. I'm not worried about the election results; it seems pretty obvious that the T-word has become a joke, even among his own party. We have voted back in Oregon, and are just counting down the days until it's finally over. Clinton was in my new hometown yesterday, for a measly 20 minutes, but there was no way for me to get to see her: 900 people were jammed into a site which normally holds 720, and those people had lined up to get in hours ahead of time. I would have liked to participate--but I only have a few precious hours every weekend and didn't want to spend any of those standing in line outside in the heat.
MissS is now completely moved out of the house in OR. It's all very bittersweet. Someone stole the beautiful doll house her dad built for her when she was a small child, thinking it had been abandoned in the carport. MissS is heartbroken. It's all such a difficult transition.
J's ankle is healing slowly, as long as he doesn't overdo--ha!-- and he really is trying to take it easy. He is also trying to remember to move without haste. I'm so grateful he is here, with me, and is such a source of strength and support. TYG.
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Sunday
I woke with a migraine this morning. UGH. I took my first-level meds, and it's been almost 2 hours with no improvement. After I finish this I will move onto the second-level meds, and maybe that will help. I didn't go to Pilates this morning, and will plan on a very quiet day.
J is also planning on a quiet day: he is slowly learning that he simply must stay off his feet, or severely limit being up and working if his ankle is to heal at all. He also has somehow injured or irritated his left knee, the one with the over-10-year-old knee replacement. No matter what, he says he will never have another surgery to replace the replacement, so he must back off activity and let it heal. Hard for him to do.
He is working on the yard cleanup, of course. The adjuster came last week. We are to obtain 2-3 estimates on the pool enclosure and the shed, and then give this info to the adjuster. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but at some point he will give us a check. Since there is a deductible I don't quite understand how this works.
We can't afford the repair or replacement now anyway. One estimate was $9,000. The other was $16,000--he said it couldn't be repaired, and just needed to be torn down altogether and rebuilt. (A few of my co-workers have expressed utter shock at these amounts, and suggested we just wait a few months, as this is probably a heavily inflated amount...not to say "price-gouging" exactly but certainly more than would be reasonable. One co-worker gave me the name of her pool enclosure person, and so we will call them too.)
Another estimate was for $1500 to cut the over-hanging tree limb away from the house. Then J asked a neighbor - who also has a tree/landscaping business and is contracted with the city-- and his bid was $500. Quite a difference! So we thanked him, and then sent an email to Rick asking if he would split this cost; it's a reasonable suggestion since the tree is on his side of the fence. If he doesn't, we will still probably do this, as it's threatening our roof.
FEMA has approved us for a low-interest loan for repairs/replacement, but that really doesn't help us. We don't want another loan. At least not until we have paid off everything else.
J has really done tremendous amount of work, already. The pile outside on the curb is easily 8 feet tall, 5-6 feet deep, and much longer than the truck. If a truck parks on the other side of it, in the road, we can't see it. Almost everyone in our neighborhood has a pile that massive, as street clean-up hasn't begun yet. It's disheartening to see the staggering amount of debris that is waiting. It's a constant reminder of what has been lost.
I feel so depressed, much of the time. Or maybe it's sadness, grief. I cannot even bring myself to plan a garden as my sister suggested yesterday; I went with her to Lowe's to look at their nursery supplies, as she is starting her garden. I'm happy for her that she is so excited to be working on her garden, but my mind is a blank when I think about our own yard. I haven't been able to drag myself out of the shock.
I think I'm just going to have to live with this for awhile. It's only been two weeks. The destruction is overwhelming, and the obstacles seem insurmountable. Sometimes I'm glad to go to work just so I can get away from the constant reminder that the oasis and beauty is forever changed. I know someday the shock will fade, and I will be able to see that a different kind of beauty is here now, but it's too soon for that. I just have to slog through the daily sadness until it's worked through.
I think some of it, maybe a great deal of it, is knowing that we no longer have the house on Oak Creek. J is grieving far more than I am, of course, since he has owned it for over 30 years. It is so hard for him to let it go back to the bank! He called the bank and insurance people back there, and been quite open about needing to walk away from it, that we have moved and are no longer living there a majority of the year, and so the process began a couple of months ago.
And so this weekend MissS moved out of it also; she has been managing the gradual dismantling, along with J's friend Mal, who has been a godsend during this painful process. Removing all personal belongings, taking down the chicken coop, filling a dumpster with unwanted stuff; plus she is organizing their move to the new place she will share with her bf and the bf's brother. SO hard for all, on so many levels. Grief is a long process to work through, no matter how long you have been anticipating the change.
We will always, always miss it. While being very happy here, Oregon seems like another world now. Well, I guess it is another world. J has had several anxiety attacks over this process/passage, and seeing so much loss here too on top of it didn't help. He deals with it by physically working. I deal with it by some physical labor too, and by writing, and by reading, which has always been my favorite escape. I also color, and I probably drink a little too much wine. (Still, I'm not going to beat myself up for that last; it's not a lot more, just more than I "should be".)
We also talk a lot about how we are feeling, and we are very careful to be responsive and patient with each other. We let each other vent, or cry, or rage, as needed. Then we let it go. I cannot even imagine going through this without him. What a godsend he is.
The worst of the hot weather has finally ended. It's amazingly cool and dry. By "cool", I mean about 75 degrees, and very low humidity. The AC didn't kick on once yesterday! We were wearing jeans instead of shorts, and J was even wearing a sweater most of the day. Gorgeous blue skies, a lovely breeze, and last night at Sis' we had the fire pit going , and BIL roasted marshmallows for s'mores, eaten outside in the peaceful darkness. The sky was clear, and stars were twinkling, the hot tub was bubbling and comforting.
J has also cleaned up the pool-- I was able to get in and paddle around Tuesday night, and have been in almost every day since, after work. It's a great stress reliever. I learned the ocean water is the same temp as the pool, 78 degrees. Since the air temp is so close to the water temp, it feels quite...bracing... easing into it, but once in, it is just heavenly. It really helps my aching hips, and even my neck.
I've started a gratitude journal. Every night I write down at least two things I am grateful for, for that day or just in general. It's a reminder to me that even if all I can see is darkness, there are bright spots of happiness all around, if I just look for them.
J is also planning on a quiet day: he is slowly learning that he simply must stay off his feet, or severely limit being up and working if his ankle is to heal at all. He also has somehow injured or irritated his left knee, the one with the over-10-year-old knee replacement. No matter what, he says he will never have another surgery to replace the replacement, so he must back off activity and let it heal. Hard for him to do.
He is working on the yard cleanup, of course. The adjuster came last week. We are to obtain 2-3 estimates on the pool enclosure and the shed, and then give this info to the adjuster. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but at some point he will give us a check. Since there is a deductible I don't quite understand how this works.
We can't afford the repair or replacement now anyway. One estimate was $9,000. The other was $16,000--he said it couldn't be repaired, and just needed to be torn down altogether and rebuilt. (A few of my co-workers have expressed utter shock at these amounts, and suggested we just wait a few months, as this is probably a heavily inflated amount...not to say "price-gouging" exactly but certainly more than would be reasonable. One co-worker gave me the name of her pool enclosure person, and so we will call them too.)
Another estimate was for $1500 to cut the over-hanging tree limb away from the house. Then J asked a neighbor - who also has a tree/landscaping business and is contracted with the city-- and his bid was $500. Quite a difference! So we thanked him, and then sent an email to Rick asking if he would split this cost; it's a reasonable suggestion since the tree is on his side of the fence. If he doesn't, we will still probably do this, as it's threatening our roof.
FEMA has approved us for a low-interest loan for repairs/replacement, but that really doesn't help us. We don't want another loan. At least not until we have paid off everything else.
J has really done tremendous amount of work, already. The pile outside on the curb is easily 8 feet tall, 5-6 feet deep, and much longer than the truck. If a truck parks on the other side of it, in the road, we can't see it. Almost everyone in our neighborhood has a pile that massive, as street clean-up hasn't begun yet. It's disheartening to see the staggering amount of debris that is waiting. It's a constant reminder of what has been lost.
I feel so depressed, much of the time. Or maybe it's sadness, grief. I cannot even bring myself to plan a garden as my sister suggested yesterday; I went with her to Lowe's to look at their nursery supplies, as she is starting her garden. I'm happy for her that she is so excited to be working on her garden, but my mind is a blank when I think about our own yard. I haven't been able to drag myself out of the shock.
I think I'm just going to have to live with this for awhile. It's only been two weeks. The destruction is overwhelming, and the obstacles seem insurmountable. Sometimes I'm glad to go to work just so I can get away from the constant reminder that the oasis and beauty is forever changed. I know someday the shock will fade, and I will be able to see that a different kind of beauty is here now, but it's too soon for that. I just have to slog through the daily sadness until it's worked through.
I think some of it, maybe a great deal of it, is knowing that we no longer have the house on Oak Creek. J is grieving far more than I am, of course, since he has owned it for over 30 years. It is so hard for him to let it go back to the bank! He called the bank and insurance people back there, and been quite open about needing to walk away from it, that we have moved and are no longer living there a majority of the year, and so the process began a couple of months ago.
And so this weekend MissS moved out of it also; she has been managing the gradual dismantling, along with J's friend Mal, who has been a godsend during this painful process. Removing all personal belongings, taking down the chicken coop, filling a dumpster with unwanted stuff; plus she is organizing their move to the new place she will share with her bf and the bf's brother. SO hard for all, on so many levels. Grief is a long process to work through, no matter how long you have been anticipating the change.
We will always, always miss it. While being very happy here, Oregon seems like another world now. Well, I guess it is another world. J has had several anxiety attacks over this process/passage, and seeing so much loss here too on top of it didn't help. He deals with it by physically working. I deal with it by some physical labor too, and by writing, and by reading, which has always been my favorite escape. I also color, and I probably drink a little too much wine. (Still, I'm not going to beat myself up for that last; it's not a lot more, just more than I "should be".)
We also talk a lot about how we are feeling, and we are very careful to be responsive and patient with each other. We let each other vent, or cry, or rage, as needed. Then we let it go. I cannot even imagine going through this without him. What a godsend he is.
The worst of the hot weather has finally ended. It's amazingly cool and dry. By "cool", I mean about 75 degrees, and very low humidity. The AC didn't kick on once yesterday! We were wearing jeans instead of shorts, and J was even wearing a sweater most of the day. Gorgeous blue skies, a lovely breeze, and last night at Sis' we had the fire pit going , and BIL roasted marshmallows for s'mores, eaten outside in the peaceful darkness. The sky was clear, and stars were twinkling, the hot tub was bubbling and comforting.
J has also cleaned up the pool-- I was able to get in and paddle around Tuesday night, and have been in almost every day since, after work. It's a great stress reliever. I learned the ocean water is the same temp as the pool, 78 degrees. Since the air temp is so close to the water temp, it feels quite...bracing... easing into it, but once in, it is just heavenly. It really helps my aching hips, and even my neck.
I've started a gratitude journal. Every night I write down at least two things I am grateful for, for that day or just in general. It's a reminder to me that even if all I can see is darkness, there are bright spots of happiness all around, if I just look for them.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Sunday
Well, the worst has happened.The one reason I resisted moving to the SouthEast for so many years was the terrible fear of having to go through another hurricane. I kept being reassured this wouldn't happen, the odds were pretty high this particular county would never be hit, blah blah blah.
So we took our chances and moved here, to be with much loved family. Six months in, and sure enough, the hurricane hit. And it did damage--not to the house or roof, thankfully, or even to the cars. No, this destroyed our beautiful oasis of a back yard. The pool enclosure is twisted into shapes I'd never recognize. The giant old trees in all three neighboring yards are now in our yard, having smashed the chain link fences and the pool enclosure and filled the pool itself with branches, limbs, leaves, "debris" as they call it.
My company had been debating every single day while monitoring the weather forecasts whether to shut down on Friday, the day it was starting to look like it would hit us. On Tuesday BIL and J went to their house and boarded up all the windows; after I got off work I drove over there with the dogs and we all faced the oncoming reality of hurricane prep. At one point I was outside with the guys and handing them tools, and accidentally burned my leg while receiving a heavier-than-expected drill bit. Ouch. But there was too much going on and it was getting dark fast.
Wednesday morning the female doc decided even if we didn't have the official word from Corporate that we wouldn't be open on Friday, she needed to be proactive. She had me review her Friday schedule and determine which patients needed to be told to come the next day to get their written med rx's. Then I went through my doc's schedule for the same reason, and one of the front office people was charged with contacting these people and rescheduling them all.
Three hours later we were notified via email that we would be closed Thursday and Friday; this is an unheard-of event. So again, we contacted the patients who would absolutely need their med rx's and told them to come to the office right now as we would not be there for the rest of the week due to the hurricane. As you can predict, many of them could not do that, so I can only imagine what it was like for them to go through such a traumatic event and be dealing with major pain.
When we left that day we all wished each other good luck, and then went home to make our own preparations. All Wednesday and Thursday J was busy finishing boarding up our own windows. I was convinced we hadn't done enough; as I listened to the non-stop hurricane preparation coverage and their evacuation orders, and the shortages of water and ice and gas and propane and wood for boarding up windows, etc, I panicked. I went to Walmart and got more water and canned goods and pet foods and paper plates and napkins...there was no ice to be found, but we had no cooler so that was that. Walmart had no water, but the other store we use did, Publix.
We knew that Sis and her husband would be staying with us, because they were being evacuated off the island. They would be bringing their 3 kitties too. My sis was the first to arrive late afternoon with the cats in their carriers; she got them settled in the bedroom and sort of unpacked, we got the air bed ready, and then BIL arrived in his truck. We had three vehicles parked horizontally in front of the house blocking that side from the wind. The Caddy was parked in front of Louise's carport, as she had suggested we do for added protection. She was going to stay with her daughter further inland.
Then I took a last swim. Foolishly, I never thought there might be a problem with the enclosure. In fact, I had thought that even if we did lose the electricity, we could always jump in the pool and stay cool that way. But as I looked up at the tree canopy, listening to the birds, and watching the trees swaying, and feeling that heavenly breeze, I once again thanked the gods for this beautiful site.
It started to rain lightly so we went back inside, and frankly I don't even remember what we did for dinner. We were all pretty exhausted and emotional and watched the news again for the latest info. I think we were all in bed by 9, 9:30.
There was rain and wind and loud bangs off and on all night. At around 5:30 am there was a tremendous bang/crash. I decided to get up, and while in the shower, suddenly the electricity went off--pitch black. That meant the AC was off too. The rest of the day was just sitting in the living room, hearing noises outside, the loud bangs as something hit something. We would take turns going to the small opening in the boarded up windows, to see if we could see anything happening. The other option was opening the door at the back of the house --that one looks out onto the pool area. At some point we couldn't open the door further than about two feet because of the wind, but it became clear that major trees had fallen onto the enclosure, and we were not going to be swimming anytime soon.
It went on all day. We were able to text, oddly, but there was no TV of course, and no AC. It felt stuffy to me, but not terribly hot inside. Not yet. Around 5 it seemed to clear up, and we emerged from our houses and looked out onto a world forever changed.
Massive, massive tree damage, limbs down, trees fallen or broken or snapped. Transformer poles toppled. Telephone and cable wires all over the place. Fences smashed. The shed is mangled beyond imagining, and the items it held are crushed. My neighbor Rick has a giant tree leaning on his house. We can actually see into his yard now, whereas before the growth was so lush that we each had all the privacy we could hope for. Another giant tree of his has a split limb torn and hanging, and that end is overhanging our workroom and kitchen. Another of his giant trees has taken out our adjoining back yards including the fences toward the back area where it T's with the back wooden fence.
So. Much. Destruction.
And yet, our house has no damage, the roof is just fine, the four cars are fine (except for a big ol' dent on the cab of J's truck where a log dropped on it). No one was hurt. TYG.
The next day Saturday was the beginning of the cleanup effort. Up and down the road every resident spent the day chainsawing and dragging limbs and brush and debris out the curb in front of their houses. Some people had very little damage, others had a lot. No one had electricity. Some had generators. When our other neighbor Louise came back she let us run an extension cord to her generator and we promptly plugged it into the fridge.
My Brother and his wife had been in a motel not far from us and the airport, and late Saturday they too lost electricity; they came over and helped us with clean up, and stayed for a dinner on the grill. We all had lots to drink, tired, hot and sweaty, sitting outside on the front porch. Frustrated, helpless, grief-stricken, and in shock. My dad called, and it was so heartening to hear his voice, and to hear the love and concern he felt. My three adult kids all called and checked in, and all J's kids --except V-- called him too.
We still had no Internet, but I was able to download the Facebook app to my phone, and it was so nice and reassuring to see how much concern there was for us. Sunday morning Sis and BIL left to check on their house, as the bridges had just been opened. They were gone a few hours and so J and I were just drained, sitting inside, completely overwhelmed, not even sure where to start. No hot water, therefore can't do laundry. Sis and BIL came back for dinner with us, and I think Bro and SIL were there too. Then they all left for their homes again.
Everyone was so hot, so sticky, so tired and feeling dirty, and there was no sign of when things would return to what used to be normal. At one point we got word that electricity would be restored that evening. That didn't happen. Then we were told it would be Monday night. Then there was yet another automated phone message: there had been too much damage to the infrastructure, now we are looking at Tuesday night. Tuesday there were nine utility trucks on our road working...
In fact we didn't get our electricity until Wednesday afternoon. Sis and BIL got theirs back Sunday night, and so we went there Monday night (??) for dinner and to do desperately needed laundry, and to enjoy their AC. This has been so incredibly stressful in so many ways. My mind does flashbacks to Hugo, and yet this time has been quite different.
Monday through Thursday I worked at my job and J did work here: cleaning up, working especially hard every single day on the pool. We have learned that we probably won't be able to afford another enclosure: it turns out we didn't have the "special rider" to the insurance that covers pool enclosure replacements at the financial level we needed. No one told us. It didn't even occur to us to ask if there were different "levels" with owning a pool. I could get so angry at this, and yet it would do no good. I'm beyond depressed.
Well, the adjuster will be here Tuesday, and we'll know more then. But whatever assistance we do get, there is a 2% deductible. For us that would be $2500. Obviously we don't have it. So we are debating just using whatever the insurance gives us and paying off the credit cards, or as much of them as we can. Then we can start to save enough to tackle possibly repairing the enclosure, instead of replacing. Until then, the pool is going to be usable within a few days--even if there is no cover or protection. As J pointed out to me, there are plenty of people here who don't have enclosures. We might not be able to sit out there by the pool because of the mosquitoes, but at least we can get in, and that is a luxury.
Thursday I had to begin my home prep for the colonoscopy scheduled for Friday. After work Wednesday I picked up the dreaded 4-liter container, to which J added water and it sat chilling in the fridge. Supposedly it was more tolerable to drink if chilled. After work Thursday, I began drinking it. I'd been allowed breakfast, but then only liquids until midnight. So I felt hungry but not thirsty. I began drinking that stuff at 5. You were supposed to drink an 8oz glass every 10 minutes until it was all gone. That took me until almost 9pm, because it nauseated me to drink it, and I thought I might throw up. It was a disgusting concoction tasting like oily salt water. Poor J sat with me in the kitchen, commiserating with me as I drank. I had a bad headache on top of this, but wasn't allowed to take anything, so I was suffering big time!
Finally it was done--the worst 4 hours I can remember in a long time. We still had no Internet or TV, so it was pretty quiet, and poor J was doing his best to keep my spirits up. He was utterly exhausted too.
Friday morning I did paperwork, puttering, cleaning, shredding old unneeded financial statements, by this time feeling pretty thirsty. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight... My appt wasn't until 1:15 pm. When I arrived I was informed that my doc was "running a little late". In reality, she was two hours behind schedule... so another doc I'd never met before did my procedure, after I'd been there 2 hours. One good thing though: an RN I'd met and bonded with during our Orientation back in June was there, and she was awesome.
It's true what they say that the worst is the prep: as I lay there with the IV, the anesthesiologist said to me, "Any last questions? You're about to go under!" And I don't even remember answering him. A short time later I was hearing "E, you're in recovery, how are you feeling?" J was waiting for me, we drove home, and I was still feeling too bloated to enjoy dinner. But that was a good night anyway. Our neighbor Rick stopped by, and we got better acquainted. He hasn't heard from his insurance company at all, but has promised to ask if they will cover some of the damage his trees caused to our enclosure.
While Rick was here, the doorbell rang again, and it was the cable technician! He hooked up a temporary connection to the TV and Internet...and the rest of the evening was heaven for both of us.
Yesterday I was able to get to my AlAnon meeting for the first time in two weeks; there was no meeting last week because no one could get to the Island, so we all reconnected and hugged and shared hurricane stories and thoughts on gratitude. Then J and I did errands: returning items, doing groceries, also hitting the Goodwill for a cheap clock for J. I found a great new-to-me handbag.
We also got J two new cotton button-down short-sleeved shirts and a clean white T-shirt. These will be kept strictly for Going Out use. J is incredibly hard on clothes, and it's so hard for him to remember to change into work clothes or out of work clothes. Everything we brought with us, or bought him after arriving here in March is now covered with paint, or torn, or permanently stained. Until yesterday he had nothing clean and unstained to wear if we went shopping or to Sis' house for dinner. I think I need to hide these clothes away!!
I think I have written enough. We've both worked so hard, physically and emotionally. We are both subject to bouts of tears, or frustration over what we've lost, or fear over "what will happen if...". But we expected this, and are dealing with it day by day.
My daughter turned 27 the day of the Hurricane. I don't think I will be forgetting that anytime soon. She will be here in a little over 2 months for a visit over Christmas. This property is not going to be what I wanted to share--but it will be wonderful to see her anyway, and that's what's important.
TYG.
So we took our chances and moved here, to be with much loved family. Six months in, and sure enough, the hurricane hit. And it did damage--not to the house or roof, thankfully, or even to the cars. No, this destroyed our beautiful oasis of a back yard. The pool enclosure is twisted into shapes I'd never recognize. The giant old trees in all three neighboring yards are now in our yard, having smashed the chain link fences and the pool enclosure and filled the pool itself with branches, limbs, leaves, "debris" as they call it.
My company had been debating every single day while monitoring the weather forecasts whether to shut down on Friday, the day it was starting to look like it would hit us. On Tuesday BIL and J went to their house and boarded up all the windows; after I got off work I drove over there with the dogs and we all faced the oncoming reality of hurricane prep. At one point I was outside with the guys and handing them tools, and accidentally burned my leg while receiving a heavier-than-expected drill bit. Ouch. But there was too much going on and it was getting dark fast.
Wednesday morning the female doc decided even if we didn't have the official word from Corporate that we wouldn't be open on Friday, she needed to be proactive. She had me review her Friday schedule and determine which patients needed to be told to come the next day to get their written med rx's. Then I went through my doc's schedule for the same reason, and one of the front office people was charged with contacting these people and rescheduling them all.
Three hours later we were notified via email that we would be closed Thursday and Friday; this is an unheard-of event. So again, we contacted the patients who would absolutely need their med rx's and told them to come to the office right now as we would not be there for the rest of the week due to the hurricane. As you can predict, many of them could not do that, so I can only imagine what it was like for them to go through such a traumatic event and be dealing with major pain.
When we left that day we all wished each other good luck, and then went home to make our own preparations. All Wednesday and Thursday J was busy finishing boarding up our own windows. I was convinced we hadn't done enough; as I listened to the non-stop hurricane preparation coverage and their evacuation orders, and the shortages of water and ice and gas and propane and wood for boarding up windows, etc, I panicked. I went to Walmart and got more water and canned goods and pet foods and paper plates and napkins...there was no ice to be found, but we had no cooler so that was that. Walmart had no water, but the other store we use did, Publix.
We knew that Sis and her husband would be staying with us, because they were being evacuated off the island. They would be bringing their 3 kitties too. My sis was the first to arrive late afternoon with the cats in their carriers; she got them settled in the bedroom and sort of unpacked, we got the air bed ready, and then BIL arrived in his truck. We had three vehicles parked horizontally in front of the house blocking that side from the wind. The Caddy was parked in front of Louise's carport, as she had suggested we do for added protection. She was going to stay with her daughter further inland.
Then I took a last swim. Foolishly, I never thought there might be a problem with the enclosure. In fact, I had thought that even if we did lose the electricity, we could always jump in the pool and stay cool that way. But as I looked up at the tree canopy, listening to the birds, and watching the trees swaying, and feeling that heavenly breeze, I once again thanked the gods for this beautiful site.
It started to rain lightly so we went back inside, and frankly I don't even remember what we did for dinner. We were all pretty exhausted and emotional and watched the news again for the latest info. I think we were all in bed by 9, 9:30.
There was rain and wind and loud bangs off and on all night. At around 5:30 am there was a tremendous bang/crash. I decided to get up, and while in the shower, suddenly the electricity went off--pitch black. That meant the AC was off too. The rest of the day was just sitting in the living room, hearing noises outside, the loud bangs as something hit something. We would take turns going to the small opening in the boarded up windows, to see if we could see anything happening. The other option was opening the door at the back of the house --that one looks out onto the pool area. At some point we couldn't open the door further than about two feet because of the wind, but it became clear that major trees had fallen onto the enclosure, and we were not going to be swimming anytime soon.
It went on all day. We were able to text, oddly, but there was no TV of course, and no AC. It felt stuffy to me, but not terribly hot inside. Not yet. Around 5 it seemed to clear up, and we emerged from our houses and looked out onto a world forever changed.
Massive, massive tree damage, limbs down, trees fallen or broken or snapped. Transformer poles toppled. Telephone and cable wires all over the place. Fences smashed. The shed is mangled beyond imagining, and the items it held are crushed. My neighbor Rick has a giant tree leaning on his house. We can actually see into his yard now, whereas before the growth was so lush that we each had all the privacy we could hope for. Another giant tree of his has a split limb torn and hanging, and that end is overhanging our workroom and kitchen. Another of his giant trees has taken out our adjoining back yards including the fences toward the back area where it T's with the back wooden fence.
So. Much. Destruction.
And yet, our house has no damage, the roof is just fine, the four cars are fine (except for a big ol' dent on the cab of J's truck where a log dropped on it). No one was hurt. TYG.
The next day Saturday was the beginning of the cleanup effort. Up and down the road every resident spent the day chainsawing and dragging limbs and brush and debris out the curb in front of their houses. Some people had very little damage, others had a lot. No one had electricity. Some had generators. When our other neighbor Louise came back she let us run an extension cord to her generator and we promptly plugged it into the fridge.
My Brother and his wife had been in a motel not far from us and the airport, and late Saturday they too lost electricity; they came over and helped us with clean up, and stayed for a dinner on the grill. We all had lots to drink, tired, hot and sweaty, sitting outside on the front porch. Frustrated, helpless, grief-stricken, and in shock. My dad called, and it was so heartening to hear his voice, and to hear the love and concern he felt. My three adult kids all called and checked in, and all J's kids --except V-- called him too.
We still had no Internet, but I was able to download the Facebook app to my phone, and it was so nice and reassuring to see how much concern there was for us. Sunday morning Sis and BIL left to check on their house, as the bridges had just been opened. They were gone a few hours and so J and I were just drained, sitting inside, completely overwhelmed, not even sure where to start. No hot water, therefore can't do laundry. Sis and BIL came back for dinner with us, and I think Bro and SIL were there too. Then they all left for their homes again.
Everyone was so hot, so sticky, so tired and feeling dirty, and there was no sign of when things would return to what used to be normal. At one point we got word that electricity would be restored that evening. That didn't happen. Then we were told it would be Monday night. Then there was yet another automated phone message: there had been too much damage to the infrastructure, now we are looking at Tuesday night. Tuesday there were nine utility trucks on our road working...
In fact we didn't get our electricity until Wednesday afternoon. Sis and BIL got theirs back Sunday night, and so we went there Monday night (??) for dinner and to do desperately needed laundry, and to enjoy their AC. This has been so incredibly stressful in so many ways. My mind does flashbacks to Hugo, and yet this time has been quite different.
Monday through Thursday I worked at my job and J did work here: cleaning up, working especially hard every single day on the pool. We have learned that we probably won't be able to afford another enclosure: it turns out we didn't have the "special rider" to the insurance that covers pool enclosure replacements at the financial level we needed. No one told us. It didn't even occur to us to ask if there were different "levels" with owning a pool. I could get so angry at this, and yet it would do no good. I'm beyond depressed.
Well, the adjuster will be here Tuesday, and we'll know more then. But whatever assistance we do get, there is a 2% deductible. For us that would be $2500. Obviously we don't have it. So we are debating just using whatever the insurance gives us and paying off the credit cards, or as much of them as we can. Then we can start to save enough to tackle possibly repairing the enclosure, instead of replacing. Until then, the pool is going to be usable within a few days--even if there is no cover or protection. As J pointed out to me, there are plenty of people here who don't have enclosures. We might not be able to sit out there by the pool because of the mosquitoes, but at least we can get in, and that is a luxury.
Thursday I had to begin my home prep for the colonoscopy scheduled for Friday. After work Wednesday I picked up the dreaded 4-liter container, to which J added water and it sat chilling in the fridge. Supposedly it was more tolerable to drink if chilled. After work Thursday, I began drinking it. I'd been allowed breakfast, but then only liquids until midnight. So I felt hungry but not thirsty. I began drinking that stuff at 5. You were supposed to drink an 8oz glass every 10 minutes until it was all gone. That took me until almost 9pm, because it nauseated me to drink it, and I thought I might throw up. It was a disgusting concoction tasting like oily salt water. Poor J sat with me in the kitchen, commiserating with me as I drank. I had a bad headache on top of this, but wasn't allowed to take anything, so I was suffering big time!
Finally it was done--the worst 4 hours I can remember in a long time. We still had no Internet or TV, so it was pretty quiet, and poor J was doing his best to keep my spirits up. He was utterly exhausted too.
Friday morning I did paperwork, puttering, cleaning, shredding old unneeded financial statements, by this time feeling pretty thirsty. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight... My appt wasn't until 1:15 pm. When I arrived I was informed that my doc was "running a little late". In reality, she was two hours behind schedule... so another doc I'd never met before did my procedure, after I'd been there 2 hours. One good thing though: an RN I'd met and bonded with during our Orientation back in June was there, and she was awesome.
It's true what they say that the worst is the prep: as I lay there with the IV, the anesthesiologist said to me, "Any last questions? You're about to go under!" And I don't even remember answering him. A short time later I was hearing "E, you're in recovery, how are you feeling?" J was waiting for me, we drove home, and I was still feeling too bloated to enjoy dinner. But that was a good night anyway. Our neighbor Rick stopped by, and we got better acquainted. He hasn't heard from his insurance company at all, but has promised to ask if they will cover some of the damage his trees caused to our enclosure.
While Rick was here, the doorbell rang again, and it was the cable technician! He hooked up a temporary connection to the TV and Internet...and the rest of the evening was heaven for both of us.
Yesterday I was able to get to my AlAnon meeting for the first time in two weeks; there was no meeting last week because no one could get to the Island, so we all reconnected and hugged and shared hurricane stories and thoughts on gratitude. Then J and I did errands: returning items, doing groceries, also hitting the Goodwill for a cheap clock for J. I found a great new-to-me handbag.
We also got J two new cotton button-down short-sleeved shirts and a clean white T-shirt. These will be kept strictly for Going Out use. J is incredibly hard on clothes, and it's so hard for him to remember to change into work clothes or out of work clothes. Everything we brought with us, or bought him after arriving here in March is now covered with paint, or torn, or permanently stained. Until yesterday he had nothing clean and unstained to wear if we went shopping or to Sis' house for dinner. I think I need to hide these clothes away!!
I think I have written enough. We've both worked so hard, physically and emotionally. We are both subject to bouts of tears, or frustration over what we've lost, or fear over "what will happen if...". But we expected this, and are dealing with it day by day.
My daughter turned 27 the day of the Hurricane. I don't think I will be forgetting that anytime soon. She will be here in a little over 2 months for a visit over Christmas. This property is not going to be what I wanted to share--but it will be wonderful to see her anyway, and that's what's important.
TYG.
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Sunday
Having a tough time today, emotionally. Not sure why. I woke up at 4 am from a dream in which Murphy had accidentally gotten into someone else's car and was taken away before I realized what had happened. I called and called for him, and knew I'd never see him again. I woke up crying.
Not a good way to start the day. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I read for awhile, then just said the heck with it and got up. Then we did the bills, since I got paid Friday. While I'm grateful I have a steady job, sometimes I feel I'm not earning enough; this is a recurring theme in my whole lifetime of working. There are too many bills!
We earn enough between us to manage just fine: not well-off, but certainly enough to have pretty much what we want as long as we don't go crazy. But the cc bills sometimes feel insurmountable. I know in my head we are fine, and are steadily paying them down, but some days it feels like they aren't going away fast enough. And I also know this is a perfectly normal feeling as one is paying down debt. I get impatient when I don't see results quickly enough.
J did take Mr Murphy to the vet last week, so we could get a prescription for the flea meds they need, and during the exam the vet discovered a heart murmur. Apparently grade 2, possibly grade 3. Nothing to be done right now, but this explains why he trudges along so slowly at times--he is just winded. Sometimes he will just stop where he is for a few minutes and then resume his walk. We thought he was being stubborn; turns out he is doing the best he can. He does cough occasionally too, but not endlessly. If the murmur worsens there are options: medication, or ominously, surgery. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
We were also strongly advised to start both dogs on heartworm preventative. Apparently here in the South it's much more common. It's almost unheard of in our previous state, so this is something new; in a few weeks we'll take both to the vet for heartworm testing and then they will both be started on a monthly preventative.
Always something.
J's new phone arrived finally, after 5 days. It was a seamless transition, almost automatically transferring the info from his previous phone to the new one. Fortunately the new case protecting it is much stronger too.
Another worry for me is the Caddy. This past week it started intermittently giving me two messages on its screen. One had to do with the anti-lock braking system, the other says something about the security system. J will have to take the car to the shop, and hope they can interpret the messages. This means not only more money, but that J has to take me to and from work every day, using the truck.
Which--and I realize this is one of those first-world problems-- also means I don't have a place to go at lunchtime. There is the one general "multipurpose room" which the whole building uses for various meetings, or lunch, or anytime the managers have something to share. Then that room is announced over the intercoms that it's "unavailable", and anyone needing lunch has to go somewhere else to sit. Trouble is there is nowhere else. I've sometimes sat in the hallway to eat, in plain view of everyone. Awkward. Which is why I sit in the car at lunchtime normally. But if the Caddy isn't there, I'm out of luck. Waah.
I hear myself, and I see what I'm writing, and I am admittedly whining...but this is what I feel like today. Tomorrow will be better.
Oh, and one more financial stress: J is now in the "donut hole" of Medicare, which means they won't cover his meds anymore until after January, unless we get to the maximum out-of- pocket amount. And one in particular of his meds is very expensive. Grrr.
Well, again, I know we will get through all this in time. In the meantime we live in a wonderful house, and have plenty of food, and I work very close to my job, and we are healthy. J continues to slowly heal from his ankle injury, but it's very slow going. He walks quite deliberately, wearing an Ace bandage around that ankle, and sometimes appears to shuffle, but it's because he has to place his foot very carefully to avoid stretching the Achilles tendon. Poor guy! He is pretty brave, and determined not to let this stop him from doing anything--although I wouldn't mind at all if he did rest a bit more often.
He has been working for two weeks on painting some black bookshelves white for Sis. Each one has taken so much time, and I think he has ended up putting 5 or 6 coats on, to make them look right. So yesterday those finally went to Sis' house, and she gave us her tall dark wood bookcases; these are now in the second bedroom, and will store all my old Family books and mementos, and my art supplies, and the board games. It's all coming together so wonderfully.
We've had a couple of ...exciting...thunderstorms recently too. Loud thunder booms, lots of lightning, sometimes with rain and sometimes not. One of my friends was the victim of a "microburst" which apparently is a small, intense, highly focused rain / wind/ thunder /lightning storm. He has major damage, and two other neighbors were also hit. Trees down, shrubbery broken, a shed was destroyed, windows cracked. I'd never heard of such a thing. Kind of a cross between a hurricane and a tornado, your very own personal destroyer. Jeez.
Life in Florida is so different, but I love it here, and I love being close to my sister and brother. I miss my children, though. It was a tough choice, but I have no doubts that we did the right thing.
We both feel pretty darn grateful every single day.
Not a good way to start the day. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I read for awhile, then just said the heck with it and got up. Then we did the bills, since I got paid Friday. While I'm grateful I have a steady job, sometimes I feel I'm not earning enough; this is a recurring theme in my whole lifetime of working. There are too many bills!
We earn enough between us to manage just fine: not well-off, but certainly enough to have pretty much what we want as long as we don't go crazy. But the cc bills sometimes feel insurmountable. I know in my head we are fine, and are steadily paying them down, but some days it feels like they aren't going away fast enough. And I also know this is a perfectly normal feeling as one is paying down debt. I get impatient when I don't see results quickly enough.
J did take Mr Murphy to the vet last week, so we could get a prescription for the flea meds they need, and during the exam the vet discovered a heart murmur. Apparently grade 2, possibly grade 3. Nothing to be done right now, but this explains why he trudges along so slowly at times--he is just winded. Sometimes he will just stop where he is for a few minutes and then resume his walk. We thought he was being stubborn; turns out he is doing the best he can. He does cough occasionally too, but not endlessly. If the murmur worsens there are options: medication, or ominously, surgery. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
We were also strongly advised to start both dogs on heartworm preventative. Apparently here in the South it's much more common. It's almost unheard of in our previous state, so this is something new; in a few weeks we'll take both to the vet for heartworm testing and then they will both be started on a monthly preventative.
Always something.
J's new phone arrived finally, after 5 days. It was a seamless transition, almost automatically transferring the info from his previous phone to the new one. Fortunately the new case protecting it is much stronger too.
Another worry for me is the Caddy. This past week it started intermittently giving me two messages on its screen. One had to do with the anti-lock braking system, the other says something about the security system. J will have to take the car to the shop, and hope they can interpret the messages. This means not only more money, but that J has to take me to and from work every day, using the truck.
Which--and I realize this is one of those first-world problems-- also means I don't have a place to go at lunchtime. There is the one general "multipurpose room" which the whole building uses for various meetings, or lunch, or anytime the managers have something to share. Then that room is announced over the intercoms that it's "unavailable", and anyone needing lunch has to go somewhere else to sit. Trouble is there is nowhere else. I've sometimes sat in the hallway to eat, in plain view of everyone. Awkward. Which is why I sit in the car at lunchtime normally. But if the Caddy isn't there, I'm out of luck. Waah.
I hear myself, and I see what I'm writing, and I am admittedly whining...but this is what I feel like today. Tomorrow will be better.
Oh, and one more financial stress: J is now in the "donut hole" of Medicare, which means they won't cover his meds anymore until after January, unless we get to the maximum out-of- pocket amount. And one in particular of his meds is very expensive. Grrr.
Well, again, I know we will get through all this in time. In the meantime we live in a wonderful house, and have plenty of food, and I work very close to my job, and we are healthy. J continues to slowly heal from his ankle injury, but it's very slow going. He walks quite deliberately, wearing an Ace bandage around that ankle, and sometimes appears to shuffle, but it's because he has to place his foot very carefully to avoid stretching the Achilles tendon. Poor guy! He is pretty brave, and determined not to let this stop him from doing anything--although I wouldn't mind at all if he did rest a bit more often.
He has been working for two weeks on painting some black bookshelves white for Sis. Each one has taken so much time, and I think he has ended up putting 5 or 6 coats on, to make them look right. So yesterday those finally went to Sis' house, and she gave us her tall dark wood bookcases; these are now in the second bedroom, and will store all my old Family books and mementos, and my art supplies, and the board games. It's all coming together so wonderfully.
We've had a couple of ...exciting...thunderstorms recently too. Loud thunder booms, lots of lightning, sometimes with rain and sometimes not. One of my friends was the victim of a "microburst" which apparently is a small, intense, highly focused rain / wind/ thunder /lightning storm. He has major damage, and two other neighbors were also hit. Trees down, shrubbery broken, a shed was destroyed, windows cracked. I'd never heard of such a thing. Kind of a cross between a hurricane and a tornado, your very own personal destroyer. Jeez.
Life in Florida is so different, but I love it here, and I love being close to my sister and brother. I miss my children, though. It was a tough choice, but I have no doubts that we did the right thing.
We both feel pretty darn grateful every single day.
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Sunday
Skipped Pilates this morning due to hip pain. Yesterday we did a lot of errands and walked a lot (although slowly because of J's foot problem). When we got home we did pool time and that helped so much. But this morning they were aching, so I have learned not to push this. It will be a rest day for the most part.
Instead we both took the dogs for a neighborhood walk, walking slowly. J takes them every morning just after I leave for work. So it was nice to join them and make it a "family outing". Murphy shows his age, which surprises me. He is 8 and not at all overweight, but he trundles along like an old dog. That's fine, because J needs to walk slowly too. Meanwhile Missy bounces and skips and moves like a lightning bug, leaping to grab the lead like a fish on a line. She's very sweet. They both are.
I think we have a flea problem though: both of us are getting bitten a lot, and it's impossible to tell whether these are flea or mosquito bites. But the dogs are suddenly scratching more too. Next week J will take one of the dogs to the vet so we can get more flea meds. It's always something.
The cat issue we are tentatively optimistic about. She's been to the vet again, and while there was no UTI on that exam, she had a lot of something in it-- can't remember what, but it required special food to balance. (Naturally.) After a few days, she was acting better, with no accidents on the furniture anymore. J decided to continue to buy the special food at about a buck fifty a can, but he mixes it with the regular food we currently use to make it stretch a bit, and he adds powdered Vitamin C. We also tried the room atomizer thing called Feliway, and we increased the amount of attention we give her. We still don't have rugs on the bathroom floor where one of the cat boxes is, and we keep the other room doors closed to prevent access to soft tempting stuff. So far, so good. Neither of us wants to give up on her, we just want her to stop peeing in inappropriate places.
J did go to the doc on Tuesday, regarding his foot issue. He was given two prescriptions again, one for prednisone and one for diclofenac gel. He refused to pick up the gel due to its cost. But the prednisone has been very helpful previously. He also has meloxicam daily, and is supposed to be icing this ankle 4 times a day for at least 30 minutes each time. He is honestly trying to do this as instructed. It's all helping; the doc did say improvement can be slower in some people, and this isn't actually worsening. But Lord, it is very slow.
He has been working steadily despite the discomfort. Painting, errands if needed, working on the final touches to the vent in the living room. When we first saw the condition it was in, it was kind of scary. There appeared to have been significant water damage around the base where it is set into the wall, and then vent was not only rusty but bent. Originally J was going to just replace it after repairing the water damage of course. But the cost was prohibitive, because it was not a stock size. Apparently this one was custom made. (Of course it was...) Replacements online matching its dimensions were going for $300. Out of the question for us. So he has been steadily working on cleaning it, hammering it back into shape, polishing it up, re-painting. This week it was completed.
I should have taken before and after pictures of so much here in the house. He and I remember what it all looked like Before, and seeing the After is just so impressive. Sis told me that the Realtor had told her if we wanted to sell, we could now easily get $30-40 thousand more than we paid for it. Sis also said if we ever wanted to sell, they wanted it! Needless to say we are not interested in selling, but it's good info to have. Makes us feel proud of all that's been accomplished. We've been here 6 months now.
Work goes well, and we are working well together. The woman doc continues to be demanding and high maintenance, but turns in a flash and suddenly will be laughing and acting like a young girl. She just turned 50. Looks about 30 especially when she wears her scrubs, and doesn't use makeup or straighten her hair; on those two days she does procedures (injections) in the surgery area. On the Clinic days seeing patients she dresses to the nines, does her hair and makeup and walks in high heels to make herself appear taller--she's about 5'2". I like her, and I'm very happy in the job.
This is the view patients have entering from the waiting room.The chair with the white lab coat is my desk, and Ebony is in the other chair. Yup, we are back-to-side; we call it bumper chairs. Very cosy, almost no desk space. On the other side of the wall is a small lab area with a sink where we do the drug testing.
Walk a few more steps and this is the other half of our work area; the RN Janis works here. The door you see is one of the exam rooms. There's one more exam room just its left, and another to the right. There's a bathroom, and that is the whole area we work in. Each doc has an office off those hallways. The office is a long rectangle, waiting room at one end and then after you enter the back, there's us, then the lab area, then storage room, and then the whole end area is open for procedures with surgery beds and equipment.
I took this standing at my desk. The door to the waiting room, and then the two exam rooms on this hall. We weigh all patients as they come in, and take their vitals right here in the hallway, and then head for a room to finish the visit.
As you can see they are big on decorating--birthdays, fundraising, now Halloween.
This one is a closer view of my work area.
This above I had to post too--nothing to do with work. The chickens in my old home are going to a new home today, where they will be able to free range. This is my gorgeous daughter holding one of them just a few minutes ago which she texted me. She absolutely loves them, and is finding it so hard to let them go. It was very hard for me to leave them, too; but I knew they'd be well taken care of. Moving on, change, loss--all so hard.
The only really bad thing that happened this week was that J's phone died. We have no idea really what caused it. It's fairly new, but within the first two days he had it, he dropped it cracking the screen. However everything else worked just fine. Until Friday when it just suddenly froze in the middle of recharging. We couldn't even turn it off. So, we had to order a new one. Should be arriving tomorrow or Tuesday. He is so hard on phones. This time I also ordered a heavier more substantial protective case...
That's about it from here. Weather is still in the upper 80s-low 90s every single day. Humidity doesn't ever seem to drop. But we do have days with more wind, or days with showers or thunder or lightning. Thank god for the pool!
Instead we both took the dogs for a neighborhood walk, walking slowly. J takes them every morning just after I leave for work. So it was nice to join them and make it a "family outing". Murphy shows his age, which surprises me. He is 8 and not at all overweight, but he trundles along like an old dog. That's fine, because J needs to walk slowly too. Meanwhile Missy bounces and skips and moves like a lightning bug, leaping to grab the lead like a fish on a line. She's very sweet. They both are.
I think we have a flea problem though: both of us are getting bitten a lot, and it's impossible to tell whether these are flea or mosquito bites. But the dogs are suddenly scratching more too. Next week J will take one of the dogs to the vet so we can get more flea meds. It's always something.
The cat issue we are tentatively optimistic about. She's been to the vet again, and while there was no UTI on that exam, she had a lot of something in it-- can't remember what, but it required special food to balance. (Naturally.) After a few days, she was acting better, with no accidents on the furniture anymore. J decided to continue to buy the special food at about a buck fifty a can, but he mixes it with the regular food we currently use to make it stretch a bit, and he adds powdered Vitamin C. We also tried the room atomizer thing called Feliway, and we increased the amount of attention we give her. We still don't have rugs on the bathroom floor where one of the cat boxes is, and we keep the other room doors closed to prevent access to soft tempting stuff. So far, so good. Neither of us wants to give up on her, we just want her to stop peeing in inappropriate places.
J did go to the doc on Tuesday, regarding his foot issue. He was given two prescriptions again, one for prednisone and one for diclofenac gel. He refused to pick up the gel due to its cost. But the prednisone has been very helpful previously. He also has meloxicam daily, and is supposed to be icing this ankle 4 times a day for at least 30 minutes each time. He is honestly trying to do this as instructed. It's all helping; the doc did say improvement can be slower in some people, and this isn't actually worsening. But Lord, it is very slow.
He has been working steadily despite the discomfort. Painting, errands if needed, working on the final touches to the vent in the living room. When we first saw the condition it was in, it was kind of scary. There appeared to have been significant water damage around the base where it is set into the wall, and then vent was not only rusty but bent. Originally J was going to just replace it after repairing the water damage of course. But the cost was prohibitive, because it was not a stock size. Apparently this one was custom made. (Of course it was...) Replacements online matching its dimensions were going for $300. Out of the question for us. So he has been steadily working on cleaning it, hammering it back into shape, polishing it up, re-painting. This week it was completed.
I should have taken before and after pictures of so much here in the house. He and I remember what it all looked like Before, and seeing the After is just so impressive. Sis told me that the Realtor had told her if we wanted to sell, we could now easily get $30-40 thousand more than we paid for it. Sis also said if we ever wanted to sell, they wanted it! Needless to say we are not interested in selling, but it's good info to have. Makes us feel proud of all that's been accomplished. We've been here 6 months now.
Work goes well, and we are working well together. The woman doc continues to be demanding and high maintenance, but turns in a flash and suddenly will be laughing and acting like a young girl. She just turned 50. Looks about 30 especially when she wears her scrubs, and doesn't use makeup or straighten her hair; on those two days she does procedures (injections) in the surgery area. On the Clinic days seeing patients she dresses to the nines, does her hair and makeup and walks in high heels to make herself appear taller--she's about 5'2". I like her, and I'm very happy in the job.
As you can see they are big on decorating--birthdays, fundraising, now Halloween.
This one is a closer view of my work area.
This above I had to post too--nothing to do with work. The chickens in my old home are going to a new home today, where they will be able to free range. This is my gorgeous daughter holding one of them just a few minutes ago which she texted me. She absolutely loves them, and is finding it so hard to let them go. It was very hard for me to leave them, too; but I knew they'd be well taken care of. Moving on, change, loss--all so hard.
The only really bad thing that happened this week was that J's phone died. We have no idea really what caused it. It's fairly new, but within the first two days he had it, he dropped it cracking the screen. However everything else worked just fine. Until Friday when it just suddenly froze in the middle of recharging. We couldn't even turn it off. So, we had to order a new one. Should be arriving tomorrow or Tuesday. He is so hard on phones. This time I also ordered a heavier more substantial protective case...
That's about it from here. Weather is still in the upper 80s-low 90s every single day. Humidity doesn't ever seem to drop. But we do have days with more wind, or days with showers or thunder or lightning. Thank god for the pool!
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