Saturday

 I don't know how I have missed a week again. Well, I do know. Too much has happened in the last two weeks for me to keep up. 

 On Tuesday the 20th, the plumber came. Yes, it was only one guy, here for about 6 hours. J is quite upset , and currently in a dispute with the company, because the estimate was for 2 guys "all day". Unfortunately we paid by credit card on the day of the estimate, to make plans for the Tuesday. Now J is feeling furious with himself for having paid in full, when the job as of today still isn't finished. 

As of today, the dishwasher and washing machines work just fine. Everything doesn't drain into the bathtub anymore. But when the washing machine is running, it still backs up a bit into the kitchen sink; it's much better than before, though. So maybe it just can't be fixed because of the way the whole house is plumbed, I don't know. Neither of us knows. But the plumber has been out here twice since then, "fixing it". 

Meanwhile the company is dodging his phone calls, despite several messages for some negotiation on the price.

That Tuesday afternoon was also the day I met the surgeon, Dr W.  Sis went with me, for which I was very grateful. There was a long visit, and much information. Short story is the surgery can't be done until many other things are done. The nurse, Amy, called me two days later and gave me the schedule of events.  They start on Wednesday the 4th, with an MRI, EKG, and labs, one of which is genetic testing.

That was a discussion in itself: my dearest friend Jennie called me the next day. I'd sent out an email that night to 5 of my closest and oldest friends notifying them of the recent events. Jennie emailed me the loveliest  message, asking if she could help with any of the questions I might have--she was a genetics counselor before retiring. 

She called, and we talked for an hour, her explaining all the scientific background of the cancer, etc. I ultimately did decide to proceed with the testing, once I learned not only my daughter and sons, but their daughters would/could be affected by this health development.

Then Jennie sent a care package: it is a beautiful hand-made quilt she created this year, honoring breast cancer survivors. Her sister has breast cancer and I think she is remission now, and her mom died many years ago from this, so it's a subject close to her heart. The quilt was gifted to me, and when I am recovered, I return it to her, so it will go to the next cancer fighter. I was so touched, I was in tears.

Wednesday I woke with a bad cold. I'd had a mild sore throat the day before, but figured it was... the beginning of a cold. By Friday I was no better, and Christmas celebrations were being planned for Sunday. SIL wasn't feeling good also, and Bro had a bad headache, so it was debatable if they were going to attend.

My sister just happened to text that morning, and suggested I test myself for Covid. To my utter shock and dismay, I tested positive. J has consistently tested negative since. We are both vaxxed, boosted both with Covid and flu and pneumonia. We go nowhere.  Yet I have it.

I am railing against this. I cannot stand it. But I have no control.

So, I am resting. It still feels like a bad cold, lots of coughing, lots of runny nose and sneezing,  but no headache, no body aches, no difficulty breathing. And the dreaded loss of appetite. I don't mind that part, since it's a start on the loss of the damn weight I gained being on the antibiotics. But still, J is frustrated that I'm not hungry. Yet nothing really sounds appealing. 

And I am taking phone calls: my appts are lined up filling the first two weeks of January. MRIs this coming Wednesday, haircut Friday morning, and marker placement  at Twin Lakes in the afternoon.

Monday after that I meet with my GI doc, Tuesday I meet with the radiation doctor in the afternoon, and J has an appt with his cardiologist. Wednesday morning the 11th I arrive at Twin Lakes for the surgery, which doesn't start until 11. (??)  Two days later on Friday I meet with my pulmonologist in the morning, and the oncologist in the afternoon. And the following Thursday is my follow up appt with the surgeon.

All of this is dependent on whether I test negative for Covid by Tuesday, three days from now. I am so worried about this, but again, I cannot do anything about it. Arggh. It just has to play out, each day.

So no Christmas gathering at all. Bro and SIL stayed away because neither was feeling quite right. I had Covid, J was living with me although testing negative.  Sis wasn't feeling right either, and out of an abundance of caution she left her home and went to isolate at the beach house.  Jeez. SO NOT the picture of the holiday I dreamed of.

MissS and Kit came over for about an hour Christmas morning, which was bitter cold. We had a terrible cold spell for several days. Most unusual. We were all masked, and stayed across the room from each other, opened the gifts, and then they left. MissS and I risked a quick hard hug, facing away from each other.  

I normally write on Sundays, but I can't even remember the rest of that day, even though it was just 6 days ago. I do not know why I didn't write. It might have been the Covid--some days with this the coughing is worse than others, and fatigue kicks in. Just what I have been living with for the past 16 months anyway.

But this week, since I can't go anywhere, and neither can J, we worked in the house. J is prepping the sun room wall for repair, which means a lot of sanding, and dust. 

He also took care of (cut down and dragged to the curb) the plants we lost during the freeze: the big bougainvillea, most of the hibiscus, the tops of certain plants along the fence line, the palms along the other fence line...it's sad. Oddly I lost none of the 33 plants that were in the enclosure (bird cage!). 

During the week just past, we packed up all Christmas decorations inside and out, and took them back to the storage unit this morning for another year.  J did the rug cleaning of all inside rugs, and vacuumed.  We turned the mattress in the bedroom, finished the prep of the bedroom closet and electric panel, wiped down all fan blades, and carted out countless bags of trash from the sun room wall. 

One day I felt so badly about not remembering to give Dad the magazines I had for him, that we jumped in the car and drove up there. I sat in the car, masked, and Sis and Dad were masked too as they came out of the house and they stood in the driveway, talking. This whole thing is so frustrating.  But it was wonderful to get out of the house, and see the rest of the  world again. Cabin fever is a thing.

Missy also got a bath. Murphy sleeps til 1 or 2, sometimes even 3pm, before he wanders out of the bedroom and begins his routine of following me around. Normally I get my stretching done in the morning, and then settle onto the sofa for the rest of the day, with him by my feet. 

I'm stitching a lot, watching a lot of movies before they disappear off various networks, and drinking a lot of tea, which J makes for me. I just finished a mini-series Western called Lonesome Dove, which has some of the finest acting I have ever seen. I love this. Tommy Lee Jones, and Robert Duvall, among many others. So good I'm going to watch it again.

This past week the "new" mixer and both my mouse and my phone finally gave up!   I ordered a new phone which is almost identical to my previous one, so there's not too much of a learning curve. And the new mouse didn't work at all until I called MissS in desperation; together on the phone she walked me through all possible options, finally trying the option of "updating the driver". That did the trick. The newest mixer arrived quickly, and seems to be holding up. This is the third one since August! J is pretty hard on them.

I miss seeing MissS so much. But she and Kit are having their own adventures, and I am trying to heal. 

My head feels like... a big ball of cotton. I don't feel too bad, although I don't have much energy. That might be because I am not eating. But I'm taking all my prescribed vitamins and probiotics, all my other meds, and J makes a smoothie shake for me each morning which has fruit and protein powder in it. Some days I don't have much energy, other days I'm better. It's difficult to plan anything, especially right now with Covid.

I'm to let the nurse know by Tuesday whether I'm OK to proceed, or whether everything has to be rescheduled. 

On top of this, J's second daughter, the only one of his kids I haven't met yet, is coming to town Monday, and had originally planned to stay two days. But naturally she is terrified of getting Covid, so now poor J probably can't even invite her inside his own home, much less meet me. Sigh. I don't blame her one bit--she's a bit younger than me, and her husband just died a couple of months ago. She's feeling quite vulnerable, and I totally understand.

Lots going on. Some days I'm depressed, and other days J is depressed. But I think now this is the calm before the storm. This is our time to regenerate. The hard fight is still ahead. I have good mentors and guides, and a wonderful support system. I know how lucky I am. 

2023 will be a life-changing year.

TYG

 

Sunday

 Well, I'm trying yet another font. I heard from a certain relative that she hated didn't like my font, so I'm trying something new. Again.

Sunday morning: BIL and Dad have just left. Bro is picking up the big hutch we've been using, which was his originally.  We no longer have the space for it, and it's rather... large.  So he is taking it away. 

It's currently in the room leading to the slider door, which I call the sun room. With  the plumbing job now being done we will need to re-do that room.  Another big project, right before Christmas!  This means we had to take down all the book cases from the walls, and pack up all my books, my precious items that were in the hutch, all my trolls, my pictures, and things inherited from Gramma. Everything is loaded onto the sofa in there, and that was all to make the plumbing accessible to the plumbers/repair guys.

This past week we had RotoRooter here, which fixed the issue temporarily, and gave us an estimate on repairing just the dishwasher issue. We said we'd think about it. It would have been just under $500.

Later in the week, like 2 days later, the damn thing started leaking again, so J called our usual AC/plumbing/electrical company, and long story short (much discussion, two people coming to look at this, a third coming to give an estimate and make the sale), we have them coming this Tuesday to fix the whole damn mess. 

It's a massive job, because it was done poorly by the original owner who built the addition and plumbing. Anyway, it will be fixed. J was thinking it would be about a thousand dollars, but I thought more like 4-5 thousand. Sure enough, just under $4000 is the final number. Sigh.

We'll figure it out. We'll juggle some money , or take it from the IRA. But finally it will be correctly done and to code.

Also this week I got the call from my PCP, that I do have cancer. Yep, kinda figured. So I was referred to a surgeon and an oncologist.  The surgeon's office called two  days later (after the authorization was obtained), and I will be seeing them this coming Tuesday afternoon.

And the oncologist's office called the same day, and I will see them the following Tuesday; presumably I will have the surgery to remove the lump between these two appts. But I will learn all that this Tuesday.

My sister will go with me to the appt, since J has to be here at home to monitor the plumbing repairs, which of course got scheduled for that day also. I know J wants desperately to be there with me, and I understand that, but for  my peace of mind the plumbing takes priority! 

The doc appt is to meet the surgeon and schedule the date, ASAP. I honestly don't have a lot of questions. As yet. I probably will have more when I see the oncologist, who is in the same office as my sister's oncologist.

It feels like all I've been doing is waiting. For phone calls, for appts, for someone to show up to give an estimate. 

We rode up to Sis' house first on Monday afternoon, for my dad's arrival. Got to see Bro and SIL, exchanged some news, and welcomed Dad. We all sat around with wine and talked. We had brought a slow-cooker meal, and cookies, and we all enjoyed that. We could tell Dad was very tired, so we left shortly afterwards.

Tuesday was the day of waiting--the weather was horrible: cold, wet, windy, not a day to drive, so we stayed home and puttered. I did a lot of embroidery, as always.

Wednesday we did drive up to Sis' house early in the afternoon, arriving around 1pm with the Honda. J drove that one, and had insisted on new windshield wipers for both the Honda and the Nissan on the way up.   I have to say it made a big difference. Our auto repair guy replaced both, and only charged us for one set. What a nice guy!

That afternoon Sis and I talked, and organized the pet pantry and the laundry room's closets and cupboards. I love doing things like that. I love feeling useful. Meanwhile Dad and J played a couple of games of chess.

BIL was away most of the week on a business trip, so Sis was alone with Dad and the dog. Bro and SIL picked him up and took him for pizza on Friday night, giving him the night sights and the prospective on driving.  

The Honda is ready for him if he wants to, otherwise, we will consider again/still whether to sell it. I hate to do that, because of my paranoia about having only one car, but I also have a very difficult time driving it. Well, we'll see.

I've done most of my Christmas cards, and will be finishing them tomorrow.  

I've ordered J's Christmas present, and wrapped the ones that are here in the house. Tomorrow I need to do baking....and finish the cards, and figure out Gabby's and Crimson's presents.

So much to do, but all of this is second to getting the surgery. Christmas will be with Kit and MissS here on the Eve, and the next day we'll all go up to the big house. It will be a full house, 11 people. I hope I will be feeling okay.

MissS is on her way.

TYG

 

Sunday

 Today, Bro and SIL are driving back home here to FL, from VT. Bringing my dad and his dog, and all things required for an extended stay here. Its something none of us ever really pictured happening, since Dad alternately appeared to consider the idea, and then would change his mind and decide to stay in Vt. He went back and forth for a long time.

All of us are so sympathetic, and understanding of the various nuances. He has a long history with Vt, and has spent all his retirement there, buying the property before he retired and then making all kinds of changes and making it their own. At the time, it was Dad and Shirley. After she died, eventually Lottie came into the picture. Both of these marriages were long and happy ones. 

I'm sure I've written this before, but it was seeing Dad and Shirley in a happy marriage, and how they treated each other, which ultimately turned the light bulb on in my head. At the time I was in an unhappy marriage of 17 years; almost every time he and I would disagree he would either threaten to divorce me, or he would shrug and say, Do what you want. 

That was the polar opposite of Dad's marriage. In theirs, and in his and Lottie's,  I saw daily caring, concern, discussion of ideas, interest in and respect for each other, and laughter. Most of all, I saw what adult love and relationships should be.  I realized I was never ever going to see that in my own marriage; he wasn't capable or interested in working toward that.

So I began the 4 year journey to get out of that marriage; returned to school, taking night classes and day classes with total approval and support from my boss, and then finally graduating. My ex dragged his feet on each step the actual divorce process, so it took eight months to process.

Anyway, the fact that I am now in a successful, loving, happy, respectful partnership is strictly due to what I learned from my Dad. He treated his wives the same way my J treats me. I am so grateful, so blessed.

I also had a lot of support from my sibs (who both chose the right partners the first time), and most of all AlAnon.

My son sent me a brief video/audio clip of his brother and the mother of his child fighting. They were not actually shouting, but the loud voices, the taunting tones in both, the drunken slur of my son, the whining. Oh, my god, was that painful to hear. I don't know why SonJ sent it; I think he wanted me to hear what was going on with them, but he asked me not to let them know I'd seen and heard it. Both SonN and Amber knew the audio and visual was recording, but both are stuck deep into that merry-go-round of denial. So damn painful to listen to. 

In other cheery news, I had a biopsy Thursday. I won't get results until later this week. My left breast shows a very small lump, unknown at this point whether it's cancer. In my heart I kind of "know" (or maybe I don't know, but I am prepared for), and resigned to this strong possibility. The process itself was smooth, although they were running late and I wasn't actually biopsied until an hour after my appt. And those rooms were cold! 

The second mammogram 3 days prior on Monday was followed right away by an ultrasound, after which the radiologist and tech came back into the room, explaining that the findings were inconclusive. There is a small 7mm lump, and it needed a biopsy as soon as possible to determine if it's nothing, or something. I do know there is no lymph involvement, so that's good.

So began the process of sending the request to the PCP, who sent the order to my insurance for authorization (which took less than the expected time); the insurance *and* my PCP called to give me the go-ahead, and the facility called me the next morning, Wednesday. The next available was the Thursday afternoon appt. Everything went smoothly. I'm a bit tender and swollen, but it didn't require stitches, only steri strips.

Next step will be determined Tuesday or Wednesday when they have the results. 

In other news, as if that wasn't enough, the plumbing into the wall behind the dishwasher decided to begin leaking.  J has taken everything out from  under the sink and snaked out as much as he could. Next step is RotoRooter, which will come out tomorrow to give us a free estimate. Again, then we will know how to proceed.  It's so hard having no control over things!!

What a complicated week. J's wrist arthritis flared up severely this week, but he still managed to put up all the outdoor Christmas lights. He has mulch still ready for spreading, so maybe that will happen this week.

MissS and I put up our little tree. This is a brand new tree, which I do not remember buying. But apparently last Christmas I did, to replace the 5 year old tree which had too many burnt out bulbs to repair; they are wired into the tree and there's no way to replace them. So, I bought a new  tree, and then it went right into storage until last weekend when I discovered it. What is *wrong* with my brain that I don't remember this??

Anyway, we decorated it, and strung the lights on, and it looks beautiful. Most of the week I have been sitting on my new spot on the sofa, where I can see the tree and outside. I have my embroidery stuff around me and my water. 

J did a very sweet thing: I have been struggling with how to transfer the designs I want to embroider onto material, fabric. I finally successfully did it by taping the design onto the front window in broad daylight, and then taping the material over it, and then tracing the design. 

It worked...sort of. I had to modify the design quite a bit because the fabric wasn't taut enough. So I looked on Amazon (after doing some extensive research on other transfer options), discovering there is a wonderful invention called a light box. I promptly added the least expensive one to my wish list, but I couldn't justify buying it now, not until the cc debt is down again.

And J did some research...without telling me. He found a better one, and ordered it. It is my Christmas present, and I am just so thrilled. And touched. He insisted I open it early, because he was afraid that in a moment of frustration/weakness I might order one myself, spending less to save some money, but ultimately realizing the better one would have been a better choice long-term. If that makes sense.  I was just so happy to see it. I have a current work in progress, and then a second one planned, before I can try the transfer process again with the light box.

Last night J and I met MissS and Kit downtown and we all found a comfy spot on the curb. The downtown is all lit up and decorated for Christmas, and  we watched the Bells and Shells Christmas Parade. It was so fun!  Definitely a cool night and being on the water it was a bit windy. But there was so much excitement, and little kids running around, and lights and noise and decorations on the floats--it was fun. 

Well, MissS is on her way...

TYG, for my blessed life

Sunday

Another quick week flew by.

After my mammogram Monday we decided on the spur of the moment to drive to Mt Dora, where our favorite pizza place is. It's an hour away. We haven't been there in at least a year, maybe longer, so it was nice to get out of the house and enjoy a drive. Lots of changes. We saw a skunk, and a turtle, and a few days before we'd seen a deer.

Since it's a take-and-bake shop, we had the pizza that night. Yum. We actually got two, since there was a Cyber Monday deal of Buy one, Get one. We froze the other, although it won't be as good as the fresh one. Still, it was a great afternoon. After which we were bushed.

Tuesday morning we did outside work for about 90 minutes, re-setting bricks, pruning, weeding, watering, all in the front yard this time.  It was beautiful weather for outside work, windy, warm, sunny. Afterwards I was just drained. I showered and changed into clean dry clothes, and J took care of me, bringing me the heater, making sure I had everything I needed. Then he went out and did more!

Wednesday it was time for him to re-apply for the program that supplies his Creon, so there was a lot of paperwork and phone calls in the morning, and he mailed everything off.  

Thursday was the first of the month, so we headed out early to do grocery shopping before the store was too crowded. We stopped at Goodwill and I found a sweet little vintage lamp, which I'll use on my desk. It's not Gramma's blue and white porcelain lamp for sure. But it'll do. 

It needs a new base, which I didn't notice at Goodwill, and those are surprisingly difficult to find locally. I ended up ordering a very different base from Amazon (of course), and it along with a new cord should be here later this week. The base and the cord cost me more than the lamp and a beautiful old shade combined! Still inexpensive enough that I feel I got a bargain.

Early that afternoon I had my appt with the neuro; she is very pleased with my headache management meds, and how I'm doing. I think nonetheless she was also pleased when I asked about weaning off one of the meds. She explained how to do so, and this also is a very slow process: one of three daily I should drop, and then use that reduced dose for the next three months; then I drop another one, and go three months. The final one stops, and I'll be done. Assuming all goes well and my headaches don't increase or change for the worse in severity, I don't need to see her again until next December. I guess I'll find out whether this works, but it'll be nice to be off at least one.

And at 4:45 I got a call from my PCP office: they need more imaging on my left breast, and so I'll do that tomorrow.  Apparently my usual imaging place doesn't have any openings for three weeks, but they managed to get me in at a different location about a half hour away. 

After the meeting yesterday, which was awesome, we stopped at Ace Hardware to also pick up two 20 lb bags of birdseed for $20. Such a deal. That's where we got the mulch, too, also on sale.  Dropping that all at home, we then went out again to the storage unit and picked up all the Christmas stuff.

This morning I did some outside work (re-potting a plant that had cracked its original pot), and J is a ball of energy too. He moved the six mulch bags into position for where they will be needed, found a metal detector for Sis to borrow. 

This week I'll be doing the rest of the Christmas decorating, both in and outside. Dad's Christmas package arrived, too; a yummy treat of Vermont cheese, Vermont honeycomb, some apricot jam, and a bag of pancake mix. What a great idea, treats with food!

I do have an appt with the derm coming up, but I'm debating if I really need it. The itching has subsided, except occasionally, and I'm slowly healing from the rash. It does finally seem to be healing. 

J also has an appt with his PCP to check on the abscess. It's remarkably better. The bad news is his nightly anti-anxiety med isn't helping the nightmares anymore. He has them almost every night, despite the meds. This med isn't safe to increase, especially in older people, so I'll be interested in what his doc says.

MissS just got here-- I think I'm done.

TYG

 

Sunday

 This morning I discovered I can use different fonts!  I think I might try this one for a while, although it does seem kind of light (to read). I have a feeling Dad might not like this one, though!

Okay: it was a better week by far, than last week. This week was about recovering , cleaning the house, getting it ready for decorating for Christmas. We moved furniture around in the living room to accommodate the tree, and I love doing that. Tomorrow we'll go to the storage unit and pick up all the Christmas stuff.

The past week was also healing. J's doctor is very happy with his progress on the abscess. He's finished one of the antibiotics, and now is on a special ointment as it turned out the culture showed MRSA. Only a few meds treat that, so J is being vigilant about the treatment. It is contagious, so we are being careful,  too.

My PCP appt was cancelled, as it turned out I don't need an office visit after all, to get a referral to a specialist. I've had this rash on my arms and legs and belly for several  weeks now,  and nothing I do seems to make it go away. It's terribly itchy at times, and I can't figure out where it came from. I even cleaned my yoga mat, thinking I was just sweating too much! 

So instead I called the dermatology office, but I can't get in until December 8, the earliest they have.  

Then J and I watched the Elton John concert being broadcast *globally* on Sunday night, from LA. (Well, we taped it and watched it Monday night.) Fabulous, almost like being at a live show myself. 

Wednesday was J's payday, and so we did grocery shopping and paid our bills. We are being diligent about checking the ads to see what the best buys are, and whether we really need something, or just want it. We stuck easily to our "less than $600" on food this past month. Now we'll try the "less than $500" on food budget. I was very proud of us! We have tons of food in the fridge, and I sometimes fear I am hoarding food. We really don't need a 2-month supply of food, but J tends to be a Prepper, and my food-insecurity goes along with it. But we don't need to do this.

Another font to try. Maybe I don't need to do "bold" on this one. There, that's better.

Thursday we baked the ham we were bringing to Sis' house, and I made stuffing, and deviled eggs. We drove up there, and unloaded everything, and then got a look at Sis' cat bites she'd received the night before from one of the ferals. (She's on meds for this, and the cat should be, but he's too difficult to handle, so that's out. Anyway she is doing much better by now, 3 days later.)

It was a great afternoon; BIL's two adult kids were there, and our Bro and his wife. By that time my back had started acting up from all the standing, and I had to sit with a heating buddy for the rest of the day. But SO MUCH FOOD. And so much conversation, and laughing. We were comparing health issues, like the old people we are, and Sis, Bro, and I discovered we all have seriously painful left big toe arthritis. How weird is that!

And shortly after arriving, I realized I had forgotten the damn eggs. I did this once before, and only realized it halfway to Sis' house, so we turned around and drove home to pick them up, and then headed back. It was a big pain, and a long drive, and I can't believe I did it again. Fortunately BIL's daughter had made deviled eggs. Which were excellent.

Well, it's Sunday now, and J finished the eggs yesterday. Lol. Good thing we like them so much. Bro's wife had brought three different desserts, one of which was a chocolate torte, which was one of the richest sweets I've ever had. My lord, it was good. Even I could only handle a few bites. 

We are adjusting to living without a cat, for the first time in probably 34 years or so. It is so strange. There's a freedom--no litter boxes to clean, no trying to remember if the cat got fed her special food or is this the day we give her the regular food. There's a silence: no meows, no chirps, no demands to go outside, no furry body to cuddle. 

Very strange. Maybe worse because Murphy is also getting to that age.  This week we learned that the place we got both Murphy and Missy was raided for hoarding...for lack of a better word. It turns out she was living with 53 Havanese dogs of all ages, which she had been breeding, and selling, and it got out of hand. Way out of hand. 

I don't know any more details, but the pictures they showed of the rescued dogs were heartbreaking. Puppies to adults to seniors, all trembling, huge eyes, fur matted, hungry, dirty. All but 8 were taken away by the local Humane Society, and naturally that good organization is completely overwhelmed. But people, and foster homes, are stepping up to help.

I can't stand to think of it: we are so lucky that we have been able to give Murphy and Missy a better home. They have been such a blessing, such a joy. 

So. Today is Sunday, and MissS will be over later. She missed Thanksgiving with us because now that she has a partner, naturally they will be taking turns where they spend holidays. She chose Christmas to be with us, and I'm so grateful. That'll be different this year also, not only because of Kit (the bf), but Dad will be here.  

Next week we need to get the Honda re-insured, so we can drive it to the repair shop and get the windows fixed. (They don't buzz up or down.)  To us it's not a big deal because we always keep the windows closed anyway, but if Dad's going to be driving it--and that is a big if--then we need to make sure it's in good shape for him. Also need to buy a back seat/front seat divider, to keep Rufus in the back. 

So many changes coming. 

I also have my annual mammogram tomorrow, and then an appt with my neurologist Thursday, to review my meds. I think I might ask about weaning off them. Now that I'm not working, maybe the stress will have dissipated to the point I don't need meds to help prevent the migraines. Anyway, that's what I want to discuss. 

Time to go do the stretching/exercising. I absolutely must do these every day--I miss them if I don't! Next goal will be walking, not on a treadmill. I miss that too. But I'm getting better, I can tell.

TYG

 

Sunday

 You know, these weeks just fly by. I am so aware every day of time passing, so rapidly. Sometimes I feel frantic at the pace even though we are "doing" very little. Other times the prospect of "nothing happening today" is absolutely perfect. One of my friends reminded me, "We are human beings, not human doings."  

The big event last week was a serious slowing down, every single day. We chose to keep Fiona home with us, as she was actively dying. This meant she went from being curled up on the back of the big sofa, to lying on a towel on the same sofa. She declined slowly, but steadily.

 Occasionally she would chirp, or lift her head. I knew she was puzzled at what was happening, and looking for reassurance. So we took turns sitting with her on that sofa, and gently patting her, stroking her soft fur, talking to her in soft words. Starting on Monday...every day. After Wednesday she no longer lifted her head or chirped. I was positive she would pass that night, but Thursday morning she was still breathing slowly. Throughout the day we checked on her, off and on.

At last around 5pm I checked on her and she felt...stiff and solid. We both cried, and I couldn't stop looking at her. I feel I've been crying all week, just sitting with her and remembering. We wrapped her in a towel, and she stayed there until the next morning when J dug a grave, right next to Sophie's grave. 

Friday morning, MissS came over early, and we three went and did the burying. Tears all around, MissS set a pretty delicate yellow flower on the grave, and that was it. 

All the kitty stuff is out of the house now: the cat tree she loved to dig her nails in, the litter boxes, the litter itself and the bag of food went to MissS since she now has three kitties. I need to live without a kitty for awhile.  I don't want to jump in and get any more until I stop seeing Fiona everywhere. (Although I can't stop myself from looking, sometimes...)

In other news, that same Friday the pool repair guy came, and $290 later the pool filter and seal were replaced. Sigh. 

And on Thursday my almost 4 year old laptop decided it wouldn't work anymore without a plug-in. So I bit the bullet and bought another laptop; same brand, same make. It arrived yesterday, and I had it up and running within 30 minutes. Go me!! Except of course I can't seem to load Firefox. I'm counting on my daughter to show me what I am doing wrong. Otherwise, I love it. And I got a hell of a deal, being so close to Black Friday. I'm very pleased.

Not pleased at spending so much money, in two days, plus dealing with the grief, but what can I say. J reassures me we are okay financially, and that I'm a worrywart, basically. I know I have a split personality on the subject: "oh, woe is me, we are so tight on things, but hey! let me buy a new computer, and oh, yes, we have to get the pool fixed."  

Well, it all works out. The dogs have definitely noticed that Fiona is not here, even though she basically ignored them. They have been a bit more clingy. Murphy especially is sleeping even more than ever. And since he is, Missy is too. 

Last night we went to Bro and SIL's for dinner and conversation. We were joined by Sis and BIL. It was a great evening. Not only did we get caught up, we thought ahead to Dad's imminent arrival, and started making some progress towards how all our lives will be adjusting next month. I felt very satisfied over how much got covered, and what possibilities are coming.

Tuesday we went to see J's PCP again, and he was quite surprised at the abscess. He took a culture, and re-dressed it with new ointment and gauze. He also added a different antibiotic. (So between the two of us we are on 3 antibiotics and an antifungal and a new ointment.)

But also between the two of us we are physically feeling better, especially J. He also had a rough week, emotionally, because Zeke started his third round of treatments, and J was agonizing because "no one was telling" him anything. Well, that got cleared up; Zeke and he texted a few times, and had a video call. J is much reassured. 

We have been able to work outside a bit more, cleaning up, and pruning, weeding, re-setting the brick borders (this seems to be a yearly thing, maintenance wise), and talked with our neighbor Chris about taking over the front lawn care. We are on that tight budget, yes, but neither of us was up to mowing or anything else for a long time. J is feeling better now, and capable of mowing, but sometimes his fatigue gets overwhelming. It's nice to know Chris can help out, for a reduced fee.

Monday night even though he was so tired, we had tickets for a ZZ Top concert here in town. This is one of J's favorite bands, but since I can only handle them in small doses, BIL went with him, delighted to accompany him, and even driving here to pick him up and take him home afterwards.  J loved it, but he is saying he won't be going to anymore concerts.

I think that wraps up my week. It's nice that the cooler weather is here at last. We actually turned on the heat for a couple of days. First time since February, I think. But Florida cold weather is quite a different story than Oregon, or Vermont. I look forward to winter, here.

TYG

Sunday

 Well!  Somehow I missed an entire week. I don't know how that happened. But today is the 13th, and we've gone through a tropical storm and hurricane Nicole, and several doctor visits, urgent care visits, and diagnostic testing between the two of us.

J saw his PCP, who sent J for a carotid ultrasound, and then a CT scan of his brain. This is to determine if he is having strokes which are causing the falls. We go back Tuesday to hear the results.

The day before the hurricane J noticed his elbows were reddened and warm to touch. He said it felt like something was under the skin. Things progressed rapidly, and he started applying hot compresses, but while that helped, it didn't make the flare up resolve. 

So the day of the Hurricane we went to an urgent care and he was given an antibiotic and told to continue with the hot compresses. It's either psoriasis or eczema, I can't remember which one.  He has been doing those things since, and the infection honestly doesn't seem to be improving. It causes him a lot of pain. He does have an appt with the PCP coming up, so we'll get  another opinion.

We did some  prep for the tropical storm/hurricane, debating on whether to stay with Sis in their big house. But we finally thought, "eh! tropical storm-- just some big wind and some rain."  We'll stay home, should be fine.  Hah. 

This one turned out to be pretty bad. Fortunately we did not have any serious problems here; we lost a couple of potted plants when they were the victim of severe wind gusts. Easily fixed, which I have done. (Both needed re-potting anyway, so it was a blessing in disguise.) Lots of small branches all over, but that's it. And yesterday we got that taken care of.

Today I am paying the price for the labor I did yesterday; I am so tired and a bit sore. I lifted about 15 bricks and moved them a few yards until I can decide what to do with them. I raked, and I clipped a lot of the shrimp plants. Plus the re-potting. But I do feel good: I came inside afterwards, showered, and put on dry clothes. Then the afternoon was spent stitching, and watching a couple of movies.

We'd gone to the Meeting that morning, and that was amazing as usual. 

Last Tuesday I saw my pulmonologist for the results of the bronchoscopy. So, here it is: the two molds he was treating for the past15 months are gone. No sign of them in the cultures, at 4 weeks. 

But there are two more! Two different ones!  Which of course need to be treated with two different meds, after I stop the current two antibiotics. So I've stopped them, started the one antibiotic, and am now waiting for my insurance to OK the other med, which is very expensive.

But seriously, two different ones? WTF. How does that happen?? Something called aspergillis, and the other is pseudomonas. (Not sure on the spelling.) I haven't had the energy to do the research yet on these, but I plan to.

Life is so INteresting.

The other thing that's happening is we have come to the realization that Fiona is dying. She is so damn skinny, just skin and bones, her bones so sharp you can feel them inside the bag of fur she has become. She walks very slowly, wobbling as she goes. She can still jump up onto the sofa where she spends most of her day, or she likes to go out to the pool deck and sprawl on a chair.

I can't think why it took me so long to realize this. (Hmm. Denial...) She has mainly quit eating; she will lick the liquid off the canned food we give her, and enjoys the soft treats, but doesn't eat the kibble anymore. She adores drinking water out of my glass.

She has been with us for ten years, and this makes her about 16 years old. I love her; she is probably the most beautiful cat I've had, besides Annabelle. Yes, she is crotchety, and fussy, and not very affectionate. Definitely does not like other cats, and ignores the dogs.  She's been a big pain in many ways. But I fell hard for her the day I saw her, and that has never changed. She's a very unique being. It's hard to think she is getting ready to pass over.  Much sadness.

Complete change of subject: MissS' life is changing in a big way. Her bf Kit has moved in, and is starting his new job here in DB tomorrow. Her place is tiny, so this will be a real challenge for her; not only sharing the space, but sharing the space with a large personality.  Our Sunday afternoons will be changing.

Bro turned 65 yesterday, and while we were originally planning a get together that night, there was too much going on after the hurricane to plan this also. So it will now be next weekend.  And two weeks after that will be Thanksgiving. I hope to have everyone here for that day.

Jeez, I still can't believe I missed a week. What was I doing last Sunday morning??

TYG

Sunday

 Sunday morning. I think it rained during the night, and during the previous night. We need this rain!

(I had about two paragraphs written, and they've just disappeared, because I hit a button in my reflexive movement when J just yelled out in severe pain. Arggh.) (He's fine. He was trying to lift a bowl with both hands. Big mistake.)

I'd just finished describing what happened Wednesday morning. J had a bad fall, early in the morning while it was still dark, walking Missy. He landed heavily on his left side, injuring his knee, ribs, bumped his head, but worst was when in trying to roll down instead of fall down, he put out his left wrist. 

As we discovered Friday morning at the Urgent Care he finally agreed to visit, his wrist is *presumed* broken. Presumed and will be treated as such, because there is so much arthritis in his wrists that even the radiologist reading the xray couldn't be 100% positive it was broken, but he said to proceed on the assumption that it is.

Which means: keep it in a brace, ice if needed, elevate, rest. See an ortho after a week if it's not better.  So he's doing very well at the rest part; a lot of his resting these days is due to the fatigue which accompanies the pancreatitis. He will nap for an hour or so in the morning, or a couple of hours in the afternoon. With this injury, he's not able to do much repairing or fixing or anything related to using his hands .

So yesterday, after a wonderful meeting, and after his chess game with Dad online, he insisted on showing me having me learn to vacuum the pool, and all the steps related to that. Argh again. I do not like doing that job. It is physically hard to do, requiring a lot of upper body strength, which I never had when I was healthy, much less now that I am (poor me) disabled. 

But I did my best. Then I told J I would probably hire someone to do this for me if worst came to worst...and he agreed with me! But then he added that I needed to know all the steps, just in case. And he is right.

At the Meeting yesterday, (actually just as we arrived, parked, and began walking across the parking lot to the sidewalk leading to the church entrance) this happened: literally thousands of small hopping frogs were also traveling. From the pond on the east side of the church, hopping west in small jumps as fast as they could go. I've never seen this in my entire life. Thousands and thousands, so many you couldn't help stepping on them despite trying our damnedest to avoid them. They kept coming, and coming. It took us probably 5 whole minutes to walk this distance, trying to avoid the little beings;  as far to the right as we could see, there were tiny little frogs making their way, where? There was no pond to the left of us. It was an amazing sight. Each one was about half the size of my fingernail, if that. Even on the grass, and on the bark-o-mulch. Everywhere. I wanted to take a photo. I should have. But I wanted to take in this experience, fully, instead of fumbling for my phone and trying to get a good angle. It's a picture that is burned into my brain, as it is.

Everyone inside was talking about this too.  When we came out about an hour later, they were still hopping along, though not as many. What a sight!

We stopped at Walmart to return a couple of things, and then picked up a couple of things, before heading home. At home J played a chess game with Dad, and then took a nap. Meanwhile I was reading, enjoying the silence. I'm working my way through Undaunted Courage, about the incredible journey of discovery by Lewis and Clark in the early 1800s. It is slow going because there is so much detail. But it's fascinating. I love American history, and I'm thrilled to be finally reading this in-depth account. I started it 2 weeks ago, and haven't even read 100 pages yet. It's a huge book.

Wednesday late afternoon, the package from my granddaughter arrived. Inside were two paintings she had done!  One was  done especially for me of a dragon, using blues and greens because these are my favorite colors; and one she'd painted and I just fell in love with it when she shared it on Instagram a few months ago. She knew I adored this one, and sent it to me. And Alyssa included a small book she'd created of photos of she and Gabby in the past two years or so. Beautiful shots. Both of them are very photogenic. I was so thrilled. And touched.

Thursday I made a  tetrazinni, using left-over chicken from the rotisserie chicken we'd bought. It turned out wonderfully. However, again, standing for that long just takes such a toll on my back; I had to sit down quite suddenly, and then waited for the meds to kick in. When that pain eases off, its like 40 pounds rolling off my shoulders. Phew.

My heating pad and the tramadol are really very helpful in treating this sharp ache in my back. I feel like an invalid at times, but J insists on taking care of me, despite his own injury. We are a pair. I don't know what I would do without him.

Saturday we'd tentatively planned a get together, but this time due to J's injury, and Bro's concern over his job status, and Sis' concern over the potential strain on J's psyche and wrist, we all agreed to not do this, again. And Bro instead suggested a get-together at his house, on his birthday weekend. This is the big one for him, 65. 

Today MissS will come over. I'm so looking forward to this. J made a meatloaf which we just have to pop in the oven, and we'll have salad from our own garden greens (thank you, Sis!!), and maybe some rice or beans.  Should be a yummy meal.

TYG

Sunday

 J has just finished making a yummy breakfast of leftover mashed potato pancakes, an over-medium egg, and a piece of turkey sausage.  So good.

This week he was notified via letter and phone call that his voting ballot was somehow messed up; his signature was wrong or something. So instead of driving all the way out to the election office, they emailed him a form, and he just copied his driver's license and sent it back. Problem solved. Pretty cool that they notified him personally.

He also picked up his handicap permit, so we can park closer to things because of the severe arthritis in his knees. Actually it's not the arthritis in his knees that is bad, because those are replacements, but they are increasingly painful for him. This will help, along with a cane he'll keep in the car.

Yesterday Steve came after I'd left for the meeting, and spent the next four hours here. J now has a deeper understanding of electricity and how it runs the house and generator than he ever wanted to know, lol. He will be operating this if the time comes, so it's important he knows. He wrote it all down, step by step, and we'll keep it handy.

Meanwhile I went to the Meeting, where it was my turn to lead, and everything went well. On the way home I stopped at my former company's office on Dunlawton, where they were giving flu shots. Today my left shoulder/arm is a bit sore, but not terrible. In a week I'll go back and have the tetanus and the latest Covid booster.

Then home, did my stretching videos as I'd done every day this week, and then collapsed onto the sofa. Steve was here until a bit after two, so after that J took his nap.

I'd sent out an email to my sibs and daughter asking if anyone was interested in a get together, but everyone had plans already. So, maybe next weekend we'll do it.

J did have  a counseling session on Tuesday, and says he feels much more comfortable with the issue around Zeke. So that's wonderful.

Wednesday morning we picked up an online order from Walmart which was supposed to include another set of the hearing aids he's been using--as a back-up set.  But they were not available, either in the store or online, although Walmart was advertising them as being available for shipping. So I went back online and this time could not find them. Huh. Maybe they are not making them anymore? (But J has been communicating with the maker of the hearing aids, and they asked him to return them for repair. Which he's done. They told him they'd send his repaired aids back, or another set. We'll see what happens.)

And I then went online again and found yet a different set of hearing aids, and after discussion with him, we ordered those. Later that night we received an email later from someone at Walmart online, asking if we would accept still another set, because the ones I wanted/ordered were not available! 

 I'm so confused at this point. I did try to look up this substitute but there were no reviews and no stars, so since there is a 30day return window, I did accept this substitute. J will try them. Can't hurt. Hearing aids are a big pain in the ...

Wednesday afternoon we took both dogs to the vet: Missy had a recheck on her ear and was pronounced healthy, at just over nine pounds. Murphy is 11 pounds and all his nails were severely clipped down. He is doing much better now. Everything went well there, although he did squirm a bit.

And Wednesday evening J went to pick up MissS at the airport, and we gave her some of the ratatouille I'd made with a container of rice. She had presents for us, too: chocolate for J, and maple sugar for me, and some more maple sugar and some beeswax wrap  for leftovers, from Dad.  We were thrilled with everything, of course. Dad loved the chocolate we'd sent him via MissS, and the chess book. So all is well.

Thursday J had an early morning appt for xrays of his low back and hips and pelvis, and those results should be available this coming week. That day was quiet for both of us, lots of rest. In the afternoon we did take about a couple of hours to prune and trim the small palms in front of the house, and piled the debris on top of the hurricane debris.  We also moved the stones lining the walkway to the house and re-positioned them around each of the plumeria starts. After sweeping the pathway, it looks a lot better.

Friday we mustered ourselves and decided to try "meal planning" for a week, to help with food expenses. We looked at the circulars for Aldi and Publix, and drove to both places, picking up only the items we'd marked , mostly... We spent much less than usual, oddly, and have several meals planned.

We'd reviewed our bills, and paid what we could, and pulled out some cash for Steve; we are going to try to not spend more than $600 a month on food. Even as I'm writing this, I can't believe it's a struggle to stay within that limit, as it seems like a huge amount. But it's the one of the two areas where we can adjust the budget. So we'll try it. 

The other area we could adjust is--amazingly--our streaming services/Internet. Internet is a fixed cost at $72 monthly. Seems outrageous to me. 

 But all other services are then added to this cost: YouTubeTV for live or local broadcasts including TCM and HGTV, Amazon Prime, Netflix, and Hulu. Which are  costing us monthly:$75 for YouTubeTV; we split the cost of Amazon with MissS on the family plan so roughly $70 for a year; $20 for Netlix monthly--a big recent price jump on that one; and $9 monthly for Hulu. 

So approximately  $175 for everything per month, excluding Amazon.That sounds nuts. And therefore it's certainly adjustable. I'd consider dropping Netflix, as I almost never watch it, but MissS and J do.  I'd consider dropping Hulu, but it is a good source for movies which J likes. 

First world problems. I'm so spoiled.

Friday late afternoon I got a text from my oldest granddaughter in Arizona. She said they had just mailed a package to me! It should be here next week. I'm so excited and touched, and thrilled to have something she's made specifically for me.  I guess she really did like the embroidery I sent her for her birthday. 

This week I'll send Halloween cards to her, and to Crimson. I will be decorating the house this morning, although we aren't giving out candy. I think the weekend after next is the time change, which is hard to believe already. Fall is definitely here: the weather has been so nice! Drastically cooler this week, enabling us to work outside more comfortably. Cool enough to wear long pants and to not use either the heat or the AC in the house. 

However this cool front won't last. The miserably hot weather is gone, and the normal hot weather is here. Still not hot enough to get in the pool again, though.  I moved the bird feeders again, because the armadillo is back, and yesterday we had --all at once-- 4 pairs of painted buntings, one pair of cardinals, and couple of wrens and titmice. It was amazing to see !  Later the dogs started barking and I counted 5 squirrels at the feeder or on the ground below.

 Apparently the new neighbor didn't like Louise's extensive gardens and plantings as he has ripped it all out, piling it neatly on top of his hurricane debris pile. I'm so saddened that so much work on her part was tossed out. But they did give us some curved pavers they didn't want, and a planter of some huge...green, spiky stalked plant. It's quite large. Impossible to move, so it's  sitting next to the rose bush under our bedroom window. I will ask J to have Chris help him move it to a  better location. 

Louise always loved the painted buntings too, and fed them all. But the new neighbors do not, so the migrating flocks now visit us, instead of her yard. I love seeing them. The buntings arrived a bit earlier this year then usual; normally it's not until November.  Climate changes...

Well. Must do my stretching, and prepare for MissS' visit. 

TYG for my life.

 

Sunday

 I am typing with a very demanding cat in my lap. Fiona usually sits there while I try to embroider, or color, and listen to music or the TV. She insists on sitting just where my right arm needs to be, to type. Sometimes I just give up for awhile, and sit here cuddling her while she purrs.

Ok, I am back. Had to give in to Fiona until she was ready to move on.

This was a difficult week in a few ways. J has heard via family that Zeke does not want to communicate with anyone, or have anyone with him while he's in the hospital, and he said absolutely no phone calls or texts are desired. He figures apparently that he is the only one dealing with this melanoma, and that he needs to do it alone.

J is crushed, and sad, and angry, yet trying to be supportive. So he contacted V (his daughter)  last night and had a good call; they discussed this in great detail. I thought he would feel better, but this morning he told me he hadn't slept well at all, and he is very emotional and sad today. It's such a sad situation, and being across the country isn't helping. Although even if he were there,  Zeke is pushing people away at this point, and even his wife has decided to back off from him; she is away from their home this whole weekend.

I'm having trouble with finding supportive words of my own; I feel I am saying the same comforting but useless words over and over again. It's tough on everyone for different reasons. J is trying to reach his counselor for a few appts to help with dealing with this.

In other news: I had the bronchoscopy Thursday, arriving at the hospital at 5:45am. J was able to be with me, and this time the whole process was much quicker, easier to get through. I was recovered and being wheeled out to J waiting in the car by around 11:30, I think. Amazing. We stopped at his GI office for some papers he needed, and to the pharmacy also, and even Aldi for a few things ( I didn't get out of the car). Then home to rest.  I won't get any results for six weeks, which is how long the cultures take to grow out the mold, if any.

MissS stayed at the house that morning with the dogs, working from home. We were so appreciative, as that had been my main concern, from remembering the  last time I had this done.  She has a new tattoo of a pumpkin, as a tribute to her love of Halloween. And she has a new ring. A promise ring, from BFC --it's an opal, her birthstone.This does signify something serious. She seems very happy, almost blushing. I'm very happy she is happy.

Sis was over for dinner Wednesday night, and that was nice as always--she let me vent and I listened to her, and  J made a yummy dinner for us all. 

Monday morning I managed to figure out hooking up the new printer; apparently J's Chromebook doesn't have the capability to print, so anything he wants printed he will have to  send to me. It's an HP printer, white, and about a quarter of the size of our old one. I adore it. So quiet, and unobtrusive.

We had to toss a couple of rugs out to the trash, due to the mold from the flooding. We also washed all the rugs again, and mopped all floors again with bleach.  I discovered the nastiest smell was coming from the bag of birdseed we keep inside, next to the slider. Somehow bugs or something had gotten in, and the entire bag was seething with nasty little white bugs. It was sickening.  Once that bag was in the trash, a lot of the unpleasant smell went away, too. 

I've always had a very sensitive nose, which is sometimes annoying to other people. But this lung thing makes any scents have a major affect on my recovery.  So J gets to take out trash more often, and deals with both kitty litter boxes,  along with the other unpleasant smelling jobs. 

J got his flu shot Monday, and then his Covid booster on Thursday. Next week I'll be getting mine. I had to wait until after the procedure, since my ability to resist infection would be lowered.

Tuesday our electrician Steve came to give an estimate on the generator vs house issue. After  long discussions and debates, he will do the job for $600, if we supply the materials he needs. So we agreed. He will probably be here next Saturday. We took money out of savings to do this, considering it an investment in the house. He has to put in a new...switch? panel? something, so that when/if a storm blows the power, we need to turn off the house's panel and use this special switch, which turns on the generator.

The new generator will run everything (if we lose power in a storm) except the stove and the central AC. So we'll need to pick up a couple of room AC units sometime before next summer. Fortunately they are only around $100 a piece.

Technically it is still hurricane season, through the end of November. I guess it's conceivable we could have a few more storms in the next 6 weeks, but we are gambling.

We made appts for the dogs on this Tuesday : Missy to have her ears rechecked, and Murphy for his nail trim. 

MissS left for Vermont at the crack of dawn yesterday, Saturday; she left her car here and J drove her to the airport, dropping her off at 4:45am.  She traveled most of the day, making two stopovers. I did hear she arrived safely, with all her luggage. It's only a two day trip, but it enables her to be there for my dad's 90th birthday which is tomorrow. I'm aching to be there too, but a phone call will have to do.

Meanwhile yesterday we went to the Meeting, and then dropped off a bunch of stuff at Goodwill, and found two new dog beds to replace the one Missy has torn up and give each of them a new softer bed. Murphy at 14 especially appreciates his bed these days. Then home and I don't know why , but we decided to plant the 5 plumeria plants we'd been given by Louise's daughter (Joan?). It was about a 90 minute long project.

It wasn't exactly humid outside, but standing in the hot sun and "helping" J while he did the hard work of digging holes and positioning and watering etc, well, that kind of helping is not fun. A couple of times I got bored distracted and decided to do some pruning or slashing of the giant saw palmettos (?) and the bougainvillea but each time J would then ask me to help with something or hand him something. Sigh. I think he just wanted me to stand there and appreciate all his hard work!  Which of course I do.  It's just hard for me to stand there and watch, doing nothing.

Eventually "we" got it all done. We now have five plumeria in the front yard, and one in the back, next to the bird feeders. Hopefully they will thrive. 

The best part yesterday was actually getting into the pool again after all that work, first time since before the storm. The water temp was only 80degrees, but for some reason it felt quite refreshing and nice; I normally joke that I can't get in unless it's at least 84, but the heat and sun really affected me. 

J is out there now, again. He believes there is some problem with the filter, which wouldn't be surprising after all the debris in the air just two weeks ago, from Hurricane Ian. He actually wants to buy a giant clear plastic tarp to cover the pool enclosure!! I  am sort of not listening to this, as a way to discourage this idea. I am not in favor; it seems a waste of time since the sides would be open to whatever is drifting into the pool.  I don't think he needs to spend his energy on this particular project.

No plans that I'm aware of this coming week except the dogs' vet appt. I think I need to call and schedule my mammogram already, and get a tetanus shot, in addition to the flu vax and the Covid booster. I hesitate to do all of those at once; I might stretch them out. Turns out I did not get a Covid test prior to the procedure after all, so the hospital must not be too worried.

I know I've improved since a year ago; I don't remember last Halloween at all, because I was so sick. But this week I will be dragging my box of Halloween ornaments out and putting stuff out and  around for a few weeks. Neighbors have already started decorating front yards and windows. 

I'm feeling the effects of writing, and must stop now. I hope my daughter is having a fabulous time, enjoying the beautiful Fall colors of Vermont, and getting one-on-one time with her Grampa. This will be a vacation to remember.

TYG

Sunday

 Back to a normal schedule now! Yay!

It's a Sunday morning, and J is out doing major yard clean-up, mowing, cleaning the pool still/again, and trying to return things to their proper places. He has just now come in, and seems cheerful enough. I thought he might be tired out after yesterday's adventure. Because...

Yesterday morning he skipped the Meeting, and instead went with BIL to their big house and spent several hours chopping  up trees which have fallen in their property. What a mess! When I finally got to see it later that day, I was shocked. As they noted, so much more than they expected. This will take a lot longer than planned.

I did go to the Meeting, since I missed last week's due to the hurricane. It was so reassuring to see my friends and exchange news. I felt completely put together by then: we have our Internet, our electric, our water never was lost, no damage to the house or pool and its enclosure. Cars are okay. It's just a mess as far as tree/limb debris, and flooding. But it's all almost fixed now, for us anyway. 

Far more residents here and in FL are devastated. It's too much to think about.

One thing I am concerned about is the house insurance. We were notified the insurer is leaving the state, and so at some point we will be searching for another provider. Hopefully the mortgage people will help with that, or the insurer itself I believe. No use worrying how much of an increase this will be, but we sure hear horror stories, daily, of how much of an increase it will cost. Well, we'll figure it out.

After the meeting I stopped at Perrine's and got some honey, and three Delicata squash! I was so excited to see those; it is our favorite of the squashes. Then back home where I tried to relax with my feet up for awhile. But then I learned that Sis and BIL and J would be stopping work whenever I arrived with sandwiches. That meant I needed to find a Publix on the way, and then manage the new directions, and then get on the highway. (I hate the highway; 95 is very scary to me.)  

So I just decided to leave as soon as I got that text from Sis, and managed to get there safely, but exhausted with the stress. And then felt even worse when I saw what they had been dealing with! Yikes. Guilt.

We left soon after eating our sandwiches, and decided to drive home the back way. The road signs said not to use that road,and it was clearly still flooded in some parts; I drove very slowly over those. We got home safely, and I am so relieved that way is now available again.

 J's clothes smelled strongly of fuel, and he'd cut himself in a few places, and the saw itself (despite being wrapped in a plastic bag) smelled strongly of fuel. This odor nauseates me, and gives me a headache, but we had to deal with it. As soon as we got home, he changed clothes and took a hot bath. He was exhausted and dehydrated, and I was concerned about those cuts, but the bath and a small dinner did a lot to restore his energy.

Then the box arrived with his new/replacement phone. This was a good distraction from his tiring but satisfying day; he spent  a couple of hours charging it and then transferring the data from the old one to the new one, with the help of someone at the company. What a relief. This is fortunately the exact same phone, so he doesn't have to learn anything new. 

Friday late afternoon we'd driven to Sis' beach house and then with them drove to the restaurant where MissS and Boyfriend Carson (BFC) were waiting for us. They'd found a table with a wonderful view directly overseeing the ocean, and in the shade but out in the fresh air. 

 When us four walked in and found them, we apparently made quite an entrance. BFC has a loud hearty voice and a great laugh; I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this charismatic, talkative, tattooed-and-piercings-covered guy. He was friendly, and remembered information MissS had previously told him about various family members, and he was personable and charming. He obviously cares for MissS, was attentive to her needs.

Sis sort of took over the awkwardness of the first conversations after sitting down again and deciding which drinks to order, and what appetizers they'd already ordered, and who wanted what to eat for dinner.  After we had all settled in with our drinks and were admiring the view, everyone took turns speaking, questioning, answering, etc--except BIL and J. Both of them remained silent for most of the get-together. Later of course it turned out they were assessing him, measuring what kind of guy he was. They watched him quietly, and watched how he was with MissS, and with MissS' mom and aunt. 

I must say, for a potentially loaded evening-- poor guy, meeting 4 of the most important family members all at the same time!-- he passed with flying colors. He was polite, and responsive, seemed relaxed at answering any questions. Looked each of us directly in the eye as he was speaking, and managed this group immersion very well, especially not ignoring MissS.   Very impressive! We learned quite a lot about him; he was very forthcoming about his growing up years, and what he did now, and his cat who he'd named Arwen.  

He and MissS share a birthday, and he is one year older. So it was kind of even more special, that evening, celebrating two birthdays. The food was over-priced, and I have no idea what the drinks cost. But I do know what the entire evening cost, and was completely shocked. Did not expect that. But we'd offered to do this for the birthday, and I couldn't bring myself to say "everyone pays for their own"--it didn't seem like a birthday-ish thing to do.

My dearest Sis later privately offered to split the cost.  I felt awkward about accepting this, but was grateful as hell to do so.  I am so appreciative. THIS is why J and I don't eat out; it's too freakin' expensive for our budget.  Holy God. (And the wine I had there gave me a bad headache. Humph. )

Today, normally MissS would come over for the afternoon. But they are still in Orlando, or possibly on the way home now; they went down yesterday for a Halloween kind of party to celebrate their birthdays.

So J and I are alone, with plenty of items on the to-do list. I slept much better last night, and so did he. We might tackle hooking up the new printer...or maybe that will wait until tomorrow.

Tomorrow I need to be down in NewSmyrna Beach by 1pm for a pre-registration thing, in preparation for my bronchoscopy Thursday. I'm sure I'll have a Covid test too.  It's going to cost me $150, my co-pay cost. Yikes. I'll be juggling  transferring money out of savings and into checking to cover this. 

I wish I did not worry so much over money. I try to relax about it, but it's very difficult for me to loosen up on the purse strings; at the same time I wonder if we are cutting costs as much as we can. We need to look at the budget again since this one is clearly not easing our  my anxiety.

J especially was outraged when we went to the store the other day; he kept shaking his head and getting angry.  But I reminded him it wasn't as if we put anything back on the shelf--we  usually buy what  we want, within reason. We don't buy much red meat or fish, for instance. And we don't buy processed foods, or pre-prepared foods.

Well. My day needs to get started, with my stretching. Then I'll figure out what is next.

TYG

 

Friday 10/7

 Holy cow, we finally have our Internet back!  It's been 8 long days. It's amazing how much one cannot get done without a computer these days.  

We spent this morning catching up on bills (some are mailed to us and some come in my email), and trying to figure out the bank situation. We can only get into my account; we cannot get into his account, because since the Internet has "reset" our connection, the bank's system doesn't recognize our passwords; it demands we type in a code which they send to us via cell phone. Nice. But J doesn't have his phone anymore, because...

Well that's another story. I've lost track of just when things happened in the past 8 days.  At some point earlier this week he was cleaning out the pool (during the aftermath of a  hurricane there is a lot of algae and debris and growth which needs to be managed daily until it's normal again).   And while wielding the long-handled brush and net, he misjudged where the edge of the pool was--and in he went, into the 78degree water. He climbed out safely, and returned to work (without letting me know, as I was inside), and after five minutes or so he remembered he had his phone in his pocket!

So he fished it out and discovered it had died. And one promptly buries it in rice in these instances. Was that Monday? Sunday? I don't remember, but by yesterday, Thursday, the phone would come on at least. He couldn't answer it if it rang because the screen was staying black; he couldn't see where to swipe to answer. So thank the gods we have insurance  (on his phone only), and he called the company last night, and now has a replacement phone on the way. 

OMG, I was so upset. This must be the fourth or fifth one he has ...ruined...somehow,  just since moving here. I know he has ADD, and is a bit clumsy with footing since his stroke ten years ago. I know he feels just as badly if not worse than I do. I know  this. So why am I still upset? Shouldn't I expect this by now, and take it in stride?  I can't even express my anger to him because he feels even worse, reminding me he has ADD, and apologizing profusely, and declaring he won't get a replacement phone anyway because he can't be trusted...blah blah blah. Argh.

Anyway, that was one thing since the hurricane. It was called a tropical storm right up until it hit, and then.  OMG, then the amount of damage and flooding, the sheer amount of water in the streets, and the broken limbs and branches.  Again, thank the gods our house itself is fine, and so is the pool enclosure. TYG. 

 But the French drains didn't hold up under the amount of water ( my rain gauge fell over and died at the 17inch mark, and I know there was a whole lot more ). The pool overflowed of course.  It was actively over-flowing big time, despite the slope away from the pool all around it; the water coming toward the house couldn't be dispensed fast enough, and despite the sandbags blocking the back bathroom outside door, the water crept in. The morning after the rain started, maybe Friday?  I don't remember. I went to use the back bathroom and discovered it under 2 inches of water, and the water had seeped out also into our sun-room, which leads out to the enclosure. It was "only" about an inch deep and we learned that room also is built on a slope; because the water remained in the far 2-3 feet, closest to the windows and slider.

Oh lord. This was all so traumatic for me. Yet I have to stop myself and think of the people, hundreds of thousands of people who lost their homes and everything else. One of my friends lost her house; another lost both her car and her husband's truck due to the amount of rain falling and how deep it was in their yard. Over two feet of water was sweeping in and swirling around her front door steps. I feel so sorry for her. That must have been so traumatic. And my other friend--she lost everything on her first floor. She and hubby have to find another place to live for several months while their own house is being repaired.

Well. It certainly was a Hurricane. Even long-timers in FL shook their heads and said they'd never seen flooding like this, here in DB especially. It was like a tsunami, in that the drains couldn't handle the amount of water coming down. The footage was absolutely mind-blowing. 

I could go on. Briefly, we lost the power/Internet/AC on the first morning. MissS was with us, and had brought her kitties. It was immensely comforting to have her here, and selfishly I didn't have to worry about her being alone in her little house, while my sis and her husband had fled to their big house.  We were all offered the generosity and safety of their house, but we didn't think it was going to be necessary. Sigh.

The neighbors--and everyone here on the street and  in town--have huge piles of debris lining their street, just like Hurricane Mathew in 2016.  One set of new neighbors moved into Louise's house--well, I guess it's not Louise's house anymore-- on Tuesday evening just before the rain started. They had a small U-Haul and a car, and are a youngish couple with two kids. I've met the husband, whose name is Jason. The couple on the other side of us, Lawrence and Michelle, also have two small kids. 

We are the only ones with a generator, so as soon as the power went out, J had to go find it and get it going. That again was a big story; MissS and he were out there in the rain, trying to get it started, and then drag it closer to the house, as it was stored in the shed out back. Long story there, but eventually he got it going again, and offered both our neighbors to share the power. They were incredibly grateful, and so for the next 5 days? six?  the generator was running a major portion of the day. Along with the neighbor's generator across the street, the 45-supporters. They were also sharing theirs, with their next-door neighbors. 

Our neighbors helped with clean up, and the one couple brought us Dunkin coffee one morning. We couldn't leave the neighborhood due to the amount of water/flooding, but the one neighbor found a back way out, into another small development. The power trucks from out of state showed up on Sunday, and the Internet people were here for the past three days, working in this street and development.

Everyone was helping each other with the massive clean-up efforts. I did as much as I could one day, the worst of it, and then couldn't do anymore for two days; I rested, and tried to catch my breath. J was managing the clean-up, and also using the grill morning and night for simple meals. 

On one day, the generator was giving J so much trouble with starting it, and the limitations of its coverage, that we bit the bullet and spent a chunk of money to buy a brand new one. This will power the house, lights, microwave, stove, fridge, and even room air conditioners, which we will have to buy. It is quite an investment, but at least I can operate this one if worst came to worst. Until this new one arrived, Sis and BIL loaned us their brand new generator, when they providentially dropped by to check on us. BIL just happened to have it in his truck, and he helped J to set it up.  What a blessing!

MissS got her power back the day after it hit, so she packed  up the kitties, and went back to her home. She has since discovered water damage, as has her landlady who shares the other half of the  building.

Bro and SIL got their power back the night of the storm, and very kindly insisted we come over on Sunday evening for drinks and dinner. We were just so grateful for their generosity. They had AC, and lights, and a beautifully cooked meal. We all debriefed, and saw how beautifully their house held up, and listened to each others' stories. It was a great evening. Such a relief and  reminder that life does go on.

Monday, this week--how can that be already?!-- Sis and BIL invited us to dinner, at a local bar and grill. We drove out there to Sis' house, and they drove us to the place,  and we all sat outside in the cool of the evening.  MissS was there, too; it was slightly raining but we were under shelter. What a wonderful evening that was too! So generous, and loving. J and I are blessed. 

I have to check my calendar to see what happened: for some reason my cell phone would allow   me to check my email and Facebook while the power was out, but I couldn't get anywhere else. 

 I know I got my bangs trimmed one day, and one other day J and I went grocery shopping early in the day.  The place was surprisingly not mobbed, maybe due to the early hour.

I had a Telehealth appt with my PCP, and she scolded me for working outside at all, telling us to "hire some eager beavers", as we shouldn't be doing this stuff. But she refilled my pain reliever, thankfully.

 J had an appt with his PCP also, and ended up with a refill of his pain reliever, along with an rx for some steroids. He didn't tell me, but he'd been having some severe pain in his knees, due to inflammation. He was also given an application for a handicapped sticker. That will help him a lot.

His cousin, Lydia's brother, just had triple bypass surgery, which got infected, so he was re-admitted to the hospital a few days ago. He is up in NJ, so there's no way to see him, but they talk on the phone.

Zeke finished his second week of cancer treatment, and now is discharged home for a full month to recover. Of course the hurricane and the loss of J's phone knocked out any ability to speak to him, but he hears through the grapevine that Z is doing alright. 

MissS had a birthday today. We celebrated last night; she came over for a homemade meatloaf dinner, with mashed potatoes and zucchini. I made a chocolate chip pie for dessert. I've been wanting to make this recipe for something like 40 years; I got it out of the newspaper in Eugene before I was even married, and it was yummy, very rich. I don't know if I will make it again, as it is so rich, but I'm so glad I finally got to make it.  MissS was very pleased, and we had a few gifties for her also. 

And tonight we are meeting her, and Sis, and MissS' new --official--bf C. I'm a bit nervous, but have been curious about him, from what she's told me. We're meeting at a restaurant, and will have dinner. 

J is still cleaning up, mowing, trying to put everything back that got re-arranged. With the Internet back, we  I am delirious with joy, and catching up on everything. 

Oh, one other thing!  I got to talk with my dear friend Reed. One day J had an appt and was going to be out of the house for several hours. Reed and I had arranged to talk, and at the appointed time I called him. We talked for the next hour and a half. We picked up right where we left off. I feel so much better about him, and how he is doing. It's been 3 years already since Russell died. From what he was saying/hinting, I think Russell committed suicide, but he, Reed, never came right out and said it. In any case,  it was absolutely heart-filling to hear his voice and catch up.  

I wish I could share my happiness around this conversation with J, but he has this one blind spot regarding Reed, and  just doesn't understand how a female can be friends with a gay male. So, I cannot share this. I hate "keeping secrets" but I have no choice here. J was wildly depressed and shocked and sad and hurt and suspicious when I'd offered to visit Reed 3 years ago for a short time after Russell died, so I'm not going to risk that mess of a conversation again. That was sort of ugly. I've never mentioned his name again.

I missed the AlAnon meeting last Saturday, but we will be attending tomorrow, for sure. I missed everyone so much, but we couldn't get out of the development due to the flooding.

Ok, I have typed enough, and need to find my stretching exercises again. YouTube was not available during the outage so I really missed the movement.

TYG that everything is all right now.