Sunday

 Sunday morning, and the cars are racing at the Speedway, as they have been since yesterday afternoon, 24 hours in a row. 

All. Through. The. Night.

J and I are "weary", as he said. Neither of us slept well due to the noise. And then around 10:30pm, another noise started. I thought it was thunder, but maybe it was fireworks, seemingly going on for  endless minutes. Then it stopped.

Last week Dad came over for most of the day on Tuesday, with Rufus of course. He and J played chess while I was at the Bank and then the credit union, because once again, Chase had screwed up and transferred the funds to my checking account, not the credit union. When I saw that Monday morning I was so angry at their once again blowing the process, I wanted to cry. 

However, I made an appt at SCCU for Tuesday morning, and then went to Chase beforehand for a certified check to march over to the CU. Of course that wasn't easy, but at least the teller knew what she was doing. 

At the CU I explained to the teller what I wanted, and within 20 minutes or so, it was all done. Check deposited into an IRA/ CD account, correct info on the website. These people are good. This teller was reviewing the notes, and looked up at me, saying, "They were supposed to send it directly to us? And it went to your checking account instead?"  Yup. I shook my head in sheer disbelief at this whole process which was started back in November. It shouldn't have taken this long, or been so convoluted.

Anyway it's done, and I am so relieved. Later we watched a great old Spencer Tracy movie called Captains Courageous. Dad did appear to enjoy it.

Later that afternoon,  J took the Nissan to our mechanic, and walked back home with Missy. She was so happy for an outing.

And later still, while we were watching TV, I suddenly saw a big roach calmly crawling down the wall behind the TV. I leaped up with a tissue to kill it, but tripped on my pj pants leg, catching my right big toe in the hem. I fell down with a crash, dealing damage/abrasions/soreness to my right foot, knee, elbow, and shoulder. Somehow  I also injured my left knee, so both knees are swollen and bruised.

J was stunned with the rapidity with which this all happened, and didn't know why I was suddenly on fire, leaping out of my seat on the sofa. He was even more bewildered and concerned when I fell. A fall like that takes your breath away; he was all about trying to help me up but I couldn't even move yet. Then I had to get myself into a kneeling position very carefully and managed to haul myself upright to take stock.  

I had previously taken a pain medication because my back was screaming-- I had made spaghetti sauce, and it had been simmering for an hour, requiring me to stand up to check on it, and then sit, stand and then sit. So after J got home and we'd eaten, I popped my pill and sat there with my feet up.

 I took a couple of ibuprofen after the fall. And shortly afterwards we were in bed. My right foot was throbbing, and every time I moved I scraped the sheet, or my knee was involved. Argh. SO  uncomfortable.

And on Wednesday I basically sat on my butt with my feet up, trying not to move my right side. But I did get up much later to make ratatouille, and while I was doing that, limping around the kitchen,  J went to get the mail and fell. Face first on the grass. How ironic is that?  Thank God nothing else was injured.

 Thursday J filled the bird feeders out front, and vacuumed the house, and washed the rugs with our rug cleaning machine.  That took awhile. He took a break to go to his counseling session, and picked up our grocery order, and my prescriptions.  We had leftovers for dinner, because we were still recovering, needing something easy.

Friday was a physically hard day: I made a pie, and I worked on an embroidery gift for a friend, and in the mid-afternoon we both went outside to do a few minor landscaping chores. Which of course turned into major pruning, weeding, and cleaning up the porch. 

Doing so, I discovered a baby raccoon in our palms in front of the bedroom window. He came out trembling, and very shaky on his feet,  to eat the bird seed which was scattered on the porch, and dabbled in the water bowl. I had frozen in place, worried that he might disappear, but he didn't appear to see me until I was pretty close. Then he froze, and hunched up a bit, and turned around carefully to go back in the palms.

I continued my weeding/pruning and sure enough, he came out again. Poor little thing. He was far too young to be away from his mom, so he was either ill, or starving to death. I wanted to pick him up so badly, but of course I know not to.

J and I continued working, and after moving farther away from the porch, he came back out again. He wobbled towards us, seemingly blind, but when he was about 3 feet from J he suddenly stopped, and hunched up again, then turned and climbed up into the palm in the front lawn.

Later he fell out of it-- I happened to be watching him-- and he then trundled over to the neighbor's area; but I think he actually climbed the tree next to our driveway. We haven't seen him since. 

Forgot to add that a young man named Zach (from the AC place BIL recommended)  came by to look at the  unit and also looked over the estimate which our previous AC company had given us. He looked everything over very carefully, and then sent us an estimate far lower than the first one. We will of course be doing business with him. Phew.

Shortly afterwards we stopped work and went back inside to clean up and get ready for our dinner guests. We were both wiped out; it's the first time I've been able to do outside work in a looong time.

Bro and SIL came for dinner, bringing pizza and a beautiful Christmas gift: a decorated tin "with cookies in", that had a music box/ light display built in. Incredible. 

We hadn't seen them since before the holiday, and we gave them our gift, and then we all sat down with wine and talked. The pizza was so good, the pie turned out perfectly, and it was great to get caught up. 

Saturday we went to the Meeting, and I gave my friend the embroidery.  It was a very good meeting, as always. We went right home afterwards and actually took naps. But after getting up again, we decided to do some yard work in the back! Our neighbor had kept promising for weeks that he'd come over to do this for us, but hadn't. We got tired of waiting, and just went at it ourselves.

An hour and a half later we had to stop. We're not done, but it looks so much better already. Basically all we have left is the cleanup from all the branches and pruning. Of course there is always something to do out there, and I didn't  get to all the weeding, but it's feeling amazing to even do as little as we did. My energy is slowly coming back.

We were both sore and sweaty afterwards. After getting cleaned up, we had leftover pizza for dinner, and watched a fun adventure movie before deciding to call it a day. 

And of course that brings us to the race. Lord is it noisy. J is working on cleaning up the work room. Tomorrow is his appt with his primary, and Tuesday is my LAST INFUSION. I cannot believe it, I'm afraid to believe it.

TYG

Sunday

It's cold this morning!  Actually I just checked: the temp has come up almost 15 degrees since I woke up at around 6, so that cold snap is hopefully over.

J is doing much better; he was diagnosed with a sinus infection a week ago,  and has been sleeping a lot and resting. IE, not doing any writing, or work around the house other than the normal household things. 

Specifically, I was hoping he would tackle the work room once the doors were in. That did not happen. He has decided to approach the online memoir writing with photos, instead of sitting and writing. He thinks that organizing the many photos (writing all info on the back of them, dates, names, places, etc) then placing them in date order will help him to document life instances. I think this is a massive project. But he wants to start on this at least, and also do the workroom clean-up. We'll see.

Monday was a holiday so I didn't  get to Chase. 

Tuesday was an early morning appt with my ID doc. At which she pronounced me much better, and she wants to continue me on the antibiotics "for several months" and then we'll see. I'm also on an anti-fungal once a week.  

Later that day in the intermittent pouring rain we drove to my surgeon's office. After waiting almost 45 minutes in the exam room, me wearing the damn little paper gown, she did walk in. 

She personally is great-- I really like her and trust her. I told her about the extreme sensitivity around the port area, and how I cannot wear a bra any more. She said as soon as I am done with my last infusion I can call her office and schedule an appt to have the port removed --what a relief!! The nerves have been damaged around the port, and on the left side where the lumpectomy etc happened; she did say again that every body heals at a different rate, but that all looks good to her. 

She reminded me to call and schedule the repeat mammograms in June, and then the annual mammogram in December, and then she'll see me once a year, each January.  Amazing to think this is all over, almost.

J then ran into the pharmacy to get my rx's, and we went home. It had been a long day!

Wednesday the AC people came, to give us an estimate on replacing the entire system: almost $16,000.   (Monday an AC annual inspection guy had come and had given us several options on what to repair/replace. Estimates ranged from approximately $2000 to $4000.  Yowsa. Since the AC was installed only 7 years ago, we really don't want to do an entire new system. But we figured as long as we were getting estimates, we might as well get all the info we could.)

So we were staggered by the news of the estimated replacement cost, and I emailed Bro and BIL to get their opinions. I shared all this info with J, and after much discussion, and back and forth, we decided to stick with the least expensive repair option for now.

Another AC person from a different company came Friday afternoon and said he can definitely do this same least expensive job for less than the first estimate; he should be getting back to us today or tomorrow.  

Thursday I had a burst of energy; while J was out getting his annual skin check, I moved all the furniture in the living room. I still can't believe I did that much. Yes, my back hurt a lot afterwards!  If we don't like the way it works for us, we'll change it, but I was really bored with the arrangement and needed something different.

Then of course I had to vacuum the living room and bookcase area, leaving  the kitchen for J to do.  By that time I was definitely ready to sit down.

That morning, before J's appt with the derm, he took the car to our mechanic to have the tires rotated and an oil change.  While there, they inspected it and pointed out a few things that really needed to be done, to the tune of approximately $845. (Why does everything happen all at once??) 

We will call and schedule that for this week; driving the car I really noticed the difference which had indicated the need for the repair/maintenance work, and I feel uneasy driving it at this point. So does J.

Friday morning one of us had to be home for the door inspector, but as it turned out we ended up dealing with massive amounts of paperwork, and also the IRA transfer process was stalled. I had done as much as I could online. The bank first had denied the request for the transfer saying it looked "suspicious" and so they had blocked access to my account.  So I had to call and straighten that out first, and then got transferred to someone who could walk me through the online process. 

Which he did; however he wouldn't answer one question (because I supposedly needed a "tax advisor" for that query) so there I was stalled again. I called the local Bank and miraculously got Frances the wonder helper again (same one I'd been dealing with twice before). I explained everything, and she said for me to come in around 3, when she had no one scheduled. I was so relieved.

Then the door inspector arrived and was a cheerful, talkative, friendly guy who was heavily into rescue and fostering cats and dogs, so that was interesting.  All went well, and we were able to remove all the inspection paperwork, etc. The new-doors chapter of our lives is finished, completed, over!! We absolutely love the doors.   What a difference they make in the appearance of the house.

Later I went to Chase to see Frances; funnily enough 3 people had shown up to see her, so I got in to see her co-worker Brian instead. He knew exactly what I'd been dealing with, and working on with Frances, and literally this was all done-- paperwork completed correctly, faxed, the OK confirmed, everything-- within 20 minutes.  

Now I wait 7-10 days to hear that the transfer is completed. Believe me, I will be checking the CU account online daily.   Then I go to the physical CU to convert that money into CDs. Jeez. What a process.

Saturday we went to the Meeting in the very cold weather, me wearing my winter coat even. It was a wonderful meeting;  my one dear friend was back after having missed several weeks due to an injury. My other dear friend was there too, having had her surgery and then a CT scan which had shown some very unsettling news. She had actually called me (the  afternoon she was told the results) in tears, and we talked about this. So when she appeared I was delighted to see her, and we got caught up. 

Back home we reassured all the animals we were home for the day--and then Sis came and picked me up for a sisters-lunch at BJ's. What a wonderful time we had. I am so grateful. We are the best support systems for each other. 

J and I hit the sack early that night, exhausted. It feels like a busy week, and I don't know how I did all this while working too. I guess you do it because you have to; but I am damn glad I no longer work. I think it might be my age creeping up too. I will be 68 in a month, and sometimes that number hits me like a rock; other times it's more of a "you're as young as you feel" kind of thing.

Then I look at my dad, and my husband, 91 and 85, and am inspired and grateful. Despite some intermittent and scary chronic medical issues, we are okay.

TYG

 

Sunday

 Nice peaceful week. 

Monday the electrician came, and appeared to be inspecting everything the way he should be; J was following him around with questions and comments. The electrician, Jamar, said he would call FPL to have them inspect the wiring because he thought the issue was on their end, outside. We laughed, because getting through to FPL is a joke.  And literally 15 minutes later an FPL truck came racing down the street.

Unfortunately the FPL guy was extremely rude, and after looking at some of the outside wiring and the transformer, brusquely told J it was not an FPL problem. He was not here for five minutes. 

So J called the electrician again, and he said for J to monitor, and keep track of when it happens. Yeah, that's helpful. Almost a week later, this flickering is still happening. We now think it's connected somehow to the AC/heat pump system, as it happens frequently when that unit kicks on or off. Sigh. Means a call to the AC company.

Tuesday was my second-to-last infusion. All went well, and I was out of there in 90 minutes.  The weather report for the day was warning of a big storm, very strong winds, and apparently all Hell was going to break loose.  We were not wanting to be out in the weather if at all possible.

So despite our appt time of 3:30 at the credit union, we just went there after the infusion; it was 1:30. This appt was to have someone tell us what the hold up was with getting my IRA funds transferred. The process was started back in November.

Long story short we ended up being told to walk over to Chase (two blocks away)  and ask directly for a cashier's check, and then to come back to the CU to deposit it. I didn't think we would be able to do this,  but we did drive over. Of course it was not that simple.... we had to talk to a "financial advisor" who already had two people ahead of us  waiting. We waited too.

She reviewed everything we'd done, and told us the next steps,  telling us to come back the next day after doing those things, and she would help us with the rest. We did so, returning Wednesday, me totally frustrated at the ridiculously complicated process and the error messages I was getting.  She was so helpful and patient, and it was a simple step I had misunderstood. Did that, and then we had to wait two more days so Chase could test the transfer process to the CU. Tomorrow we'll go back and sit with her, seeing if it works out. Sigh.

Thursday was J's counseling appt. And Sis stopped by while he was gone to bring us a meal she had cooked and leftovers from, thinking we could use a break from our own cooking. We had it that night, and it was yummy... she also brought me a gift, (which I will need to exchange for a more comfortable fit): a sketch of a barn owl on a gorgeous shade of blue/gray, on a hoodie.  I immediately fell in love with it, and am only sorry I have to wait for the correct size.  So thoughtful.

Then we sat and talked, nonstop.  J arrived home much earlier than expected, but almost immediately went to take a nap. He's been doing that a lot lately, and seems very worried about it. Naps are fine, and he needs the rest. Taking care of a household and the animals and me is a huge job, and he is 85; it's an awful lot to deal with in addition to the grief.

I also called my ID doc, because I was starting once again to have the symptoms of a yeast infection. This time she called in something which is more potent, and I will take it only once a week for four weeks. J picked up the rx on Friday, and I started it  that day.  Today, Sunday, I am already feeling better. I see her on Tuesday this week, and that will be nice.

Friday was the 12th,  which was our anniversary. Neither one of us was 100%, but I was more so. I threw together a dinner of leftovers, and created the main dish with what was in the freezer. I felt apologetic over how "thrown together" it was, but J raved about this dinner. He complimented me over and over. Then he fell into bed and slept again.  Even yesterday he was still bringing up how yummy it was, and what a great cook I am.

Friday was also the Big Door Day!!  Two guys showed up at 7am, and it was all completed, cleaned, tools gone, etc. by just before 11 am. I cannot believe the difference!! It looks amazing, and opens and shuts like a dream.  The first photo is the view from outside the house, and the other one is the inside view. 

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We are just amazed at the difference it makes. So grateful for the funds which were provided to us to make this possible.  We also have a new side door, the one we use most, leading to the driveway. New framing, sill, hardware, etc.  In the photos, the  view from the outside's color is what it looks like inside too.

Yesterday after the Meeting we stopped at Ace Hardware and got all new keys for my sibs and daughter. I cannot believe how easy it is to open the front door. We had gotten so used to the damn scraping and tugging to open and close that we just... lived with it. 

So nice to have all doors working.  Doors are something J struggles with-- he can do almost anything else but doors are his Achilles heel. So it was an incredible relief to have actual professionals to do all this work.  We have an inspection on Friday, so then we can remove all the paperwork hanging from the doors, and install the peephole and the lion door knocker. 

Funny, the birds were quite upset that their food supply was unavailable until the afternoon; their bird feeder is just in front of our big front window so we can see all the activity. They normally fly in and out of the holly, just to the right of the front door, but with the workers there this was impossible.  It wasn't an hour before they all returned once the construction was done. 

The next big projects are the side gates (we've been given an estimate of $2500!! for two gates!!  not including labor!!).  So we probably will try to find a handyman. I know J has done this in the past, but I worry about his ability to do so now, at 85.

And the other project is finding someone to refinish/glaze whatever it is the tub in J's bathroom. I know it's a DIY job, but again, I am not sure J could do this amount of work, in his condition.

I am really wondering if it's due to his heart.  By "it," I mean his fatigue, his irritability, his napping, his lack of that drive he used to have to tackle projects. He will play chess with Dad, or solitaire and other games on the computer, and go to Chris' house and talk there for an hour. But he seems different these days. 

He has lost his motivation. I'm grateful he talks with his cousin Lydia every day, and sometimes I overhear their conversations; when he tells her what is going on with him, she tells him the same things I do. That's a relief; I do worry I'm overlooking something.

She has a medical background too, and also dealt with her husband's neurological decline over 7 years before he died. So she has been a caregiver too, while working full-time. I don't know how she did it. She's a few years older than I am, a small, wiry, active, energetic whirlwind.  They are the last of their generation, and very close.

(Lydia does have a brother, but he is really not in the picture: he's a rabid Trumper, and frequently posts photos of himself shooting things.)  I do wish she could come and visit J. But she works full-time, and is trying to keep her very old and large house going, as well as I think she has cats. She's up in NJ, so not too far, but basically too far to leave. Still, it might do them both good; she visited us in OR a long time ago, and we haven't been able to manage a visit since then.

Well. I'm feeling better, and I even updated my photo on Facebook to reflect how I look now, eight months after chemo ended. I have more energy most days. I haven't managed another walk, but maybe tomorrow. It's been cold here! Between the weather, and the fatigue either one of us is dealing with, and watching Murphy decline, there's a lot going on. Sometimes it's just easier to stay inside.

A friend said she'd call me tomorrow, to discuss what being retired means to both of us; she is newly retired after a serious medical condition worsened, and is struggling.

The only other appt this week is also on Tuesday in the afternoon, with my surgeon. This is a one-year check-up after the lumpectomy. She'll review the mammograms I had done in December,  and hopefully I will also be able to schedule with her to get the port removed in February.   

Life goes on, and I am so grateful.  TYG

Sunday

Sunday, 58 degrees. Cool, sunny, but not terrible. 

Might be a good day to go outside, and do some pruning. J says our neighbor Chris is coming over today or tomorrow to do major pruning, and I'm pretty worried about that. I don't want him/them to overdo the pruning...

 And speaking of pruning, I have three little indoor African Violets, ordered back in November. Two of them are doing well. The third is struggling.  I have moved them around in the window, which is the only place I have for them. This does not seem to make a difference. They are not "thriving"; I would say they are holding their own. Is this normal for indoor plants in FL, in winter??  I do not know. I'm carefully watering them when it's called for, and hoping for the best.

Today is the 7th, and this past week flew by. First though, J and I had another kerfuffle just Friday night. He'd gone to the pharmacy to pick up some medication for me, and got back around five, fed the animals and started dinner. This may have been the problem: it was a new recipe to him, and he didn't read it all the way through before starting,  otherwise he would never have started it with the intent of eating around 6. This had a  lot of prep stuff, and then was supposed to bake for 45 minutes.

 I was not feeling well, but was hungry for the first time in two days, so as I was prowling around the kitchen trying to decide what to have that wouldn't spoil my appetite for dinner, J got upset at this, and we were off. I was trying not to react, and he was visibly trying to control his temper, but also angry at himself for "failing" in this dinner prep, because he had been doing a favor for me by getting my rx. His words. Sigh.

Before it could get too heated we both agreed to shelve this discussion, and he moved toward me for a hug. I didn't quite feel comfortable with a hug yet, and could feel myself not-relaxing as he was trying to  calm himself with a hug. Oy. That upset him, too.

But we tried to put that off, and he tried to finish the dinner by raising the temp in the oven, and microwaving the other things. None of it really worked out. I ate what I could, and frankly wasn't impressed by the recipe (which I had read through before and it sounded good, but didn't work out.) 

Unfortunately he thought it was his fault, and went into a guilt trip that he had messed up the dinner, but he also getting angry at me again. I know a lot of this was anger at himself for not reading the recipe through first, and wanting to please me.  Argh.

So that was Friday.  Ugh.

J had called the electrician Tuesday, and reported that this intermittent flickering was still happening. The electrician will be here tomorrow.

Wednesday was quiet.

Thursday morning Murphy fell in the deep end of the pool as he was walking stiffly around the enclosure. I fortunately was out there with him-- sometimes we just let the dogs play in the yard, but if he is walking around in the enclosure I will usually wait for him. Missy had already gone inside.  

I was just standing there, looking up at a particular tree, and I heard a big splash. I looked and there he was in the deep end, paddling away frantically trying to get out. I hurried around down to where he was, and pulled him out. Poor guy was shivering and shaking, and we walked back toward the house, me watching him carefully. Other than the shivering, he was doing okay.

Once inside I grabbed a towel and tried to catch him to dry him off more thoroughly but oddly he thought this was a game, like after his baths. He ran and paused, crouching, ran and paused crouching, ran and hopped like a bunny just as he did when younger. Every once in a while as he ran past, I could grab him with the towel but he'd scoot off again. He was really enjoying this, and J was astounded that Murphy was seemingly refreshed by this experience. 

Finally his shortness of breath caught up with him, and we dried him off as best we could, gave them all treats, and  kept a close eye on him the rest of the day. He fell asleep in the living room, lying in the sun in his bed, and several hours later when he woke up he was fine. Dry, relaxed, sort of chipper.  

Of course, then we--J--  had to give Missy a bath too. Which she needed. So everyone is clean. I have enough Simparica for the next 7 months, since only Missy is using it, so that will save us some money.

J had his counseling appt that day, and also returned some things for me at the UPS store. 

I finished one embroidery and then used my light box to sketch out some new designs.  I also found my last kit, and started that one. I so prefer kits, but the cost adds up. I've lost track of how many designs I've done, but each time I finish one, I roll it up and add it to the bag. Maybe I can make a quilt or a pillow case out of them.

I got a notice that the Christmas gift I'd ordered for MissS was lost in the mail so I cancelled it, and ordered the same thing from a different company. It arrived two days later.  I'll be giving it to her when I next see her.

Saturday we went to the Meeting, and although a few of my closest friends were not there, it gave me a chance to sit with a few other friends and catch up with them. That was nice.  

MissS was supposed to come over yesterday to help J with something on the computer, but she ended up cancelling due to illness/depression.  And today she cancelled also, same reason.

Next week: Monday is the electrician. Tuesday is my infusion. Friday the new front doors will be installed. (Let's hope for nice weather, as we will have a gaping hole in the front of the house for several hours!) 

Friday is also our 17th anniversary of our first date, when we first met for coffee at Barnes and  Noble.  Seventeen years!!

I took my first walk on January 1, around the neighborhood with J and Missy. I honestly began hurting almost before we got to the end of the street, but there were three-quarters of the neighborhood yet to go. So I sucked it up. I held my hand on the painful part of my back, and stretched a few times, and focused on trying not to complain. I wanted to just cry.

But oh god it hurt.  I planned to do this every other day, but this effort wore me out for days.  I think I can do it again today. Maybe for a shorter distance though...I over did it the first time.

I think that's it. I'm sleeping a lot, and even napping. I use the nebulizer twice a day, which really helps with controlling the coughing. But I do not have a ton of energy.