Monday

 Got confused on the day, yesterday, thinking it was Monday. But by the time I realized it was actually Sunday, I didn't have time available to write the blog.

 J had his Family video conference, at which only two of his seven kids showed up. He speaks so loudly that I have to leave the room, despite multiple gentle reminders that he doesn't  have to raise his voice to communicate on Zoom.

Then he and my Dad had a Chess game online.  At that point I was already in the living room, feet up, and planning on a small nap. Which I got.

I read for awhile, colored, watched a movie. It was a lazy Sunday. MissS had come the day before, on Christmas, and that was an absolutely perfect day. We all gave each other candy, books, tshirts, chocolate oranges, jewelry, music. Excellent choices, made from our respective wish lists.

I'd started the turkey breast and made the orange rolls for brunch. J had made me a huge breakfast earlier consisting of scrambled eggs and scrapple, a favorite treat of mine.  As it got closer to the time of serving the turkey, I made the green bean casserole and MissS made the creamed onions.  Oh, and we had the cranberry jelly. All of it was perfect for once--everything was tender, or tasty, or comforting.  Delicious! 

We just talked and watched TV, and colored. When dinner was over and the news was about to come on, MissS left, as she doesn't watch the news on the big three stations. 

The night before we'd gone to Bro and SIL's, for an early evening. She is such a meticulous hostess, and so everything was beautifully decorated (they have a new artificial tree which is stunning), and she gave me a holiday decoration which is instantly one of my favorite thing ever. Dinner was filet mignon, and the green bean casserole but a different version, and roast potatoes. I'd brought them a plate of my home made fudge, and there was pecan pie for dessert. Frankly we all agreed the pie wasn't up to homemade standards; in fact most of us didn't get many pecans, just the filling.  No matter, we all enjoyed the evening. 

J and I got home just before 8, and the dogs were out of their minds with joy. Took me awhile to settle down, but J was in bed fairly soon.

The previous week was busy: Monday J had a followup appt for his back, Tuesday J had an eye exam, Wednesday MissS and I did our shopping together for a few hours until I couldn't stand up straight anymore!  Despite the anti-inflammatory and the pain reliever I'd taken the earlier, that amount of standing, or shuffling, or browsing all is exhausting. But we had a great time, and I'm so glad we did that. She treated us to take-out from TacoBell for a late lunch. Such a treat!

Wednesday J also received his SS money, so we paid our mortgage and a couple of other bills. He'd called someone from our house insurance provider, and explained our roof claim. So someone arrived at 8:10 that morning, to do the initial inspection, and now we have a tarp over that roof. This coming week we have an appraiser coming (scheduled by the ins co) to do...something else. 

Thursday I got the official notification that I was approved for SS/Medicare, and since I now had that letter of verification, I called my rep at the Medicare Advantage plan to let him know I had it. Then he can proceed with processing that app. 

The rest of the time I was resting, or dozing. J had chess games scheduled with Dad on a couple of those days, and he is so thrilled with this development. 

I'd had talks with Dad Tuesday, and then again Christmas.  The difference in his energy level between those days was amazing. He is recovering fast, although still having trouble with the appetite. ( I wanted to tell him that, for me, the appetite came roaring back, and while I don't have a scale, I don't think I've kept those 9 pounds off!)  Sis is doing the exercises with him, and there's a HH physical therapist visiting him. Sis also has gotten him on a schedule for his days, so he knows what is expected: that routine is important.

I found an app for myself which focuses on meditations, music, yoga, inspirational talks, etc. I'm still exploring it all, but I want to use it for getting stronger, and more flexible.  I also have re-committed to the weight loss app which I use for tracking caloric intake.  The season for "loose eating" is over!

I missed my AlAnon meeting Saturday, as I was too exhausted from (apparently) overdoing things  Friday. It's so hard for me to judge that. There are exceptions--I knew that I had to sit down very soon after arriving home from Wednesday's shopping, but it didn't feel utterly exhausting---until it did, very suddenly. 

Photo above is not one of my favorites because of the big-cheek effect, but it's great of J. 

So this coming week is quiet. No plans. Probably will stay home Friday night, New Year's Eve, and stay hydrated and lightly fed. I'm waiting to transition to the long term disability, and also expecting a SS check any day for the month of November. And maybe some news on the new health insurance plan. 

The weather is wonderful. Sunny, blue skies, no wind or humidity. Might try another walk...

TYG

Sunday

 And the good news is that my disability check arrived in Friday's mail, around 4pm. Oh my God, the relief!   J hopped in the car and drove to the bank to deposit it right away. It was actually over $3000, so he was scared to death to be transporting it, but all was done with no problems. 

And the very next day, a rep from SS/Medicare called me; she is working on my app and had some questions (to clarify that I was not filing for gov't disability, because I have disability from my employer), and now needs a simple one page form filled out by my employer, and another 2 page form filled out by me. She emailed those to me, and I've printed them out. 

I then emailed my HR person and explained this, and asked for a brief meeting for Monday so she can fill this out. Hopefully she can, and then I will get even more money; since my Medicare and SS will technically have begun in November  (another blessing--which she told me about!). I would get that check right away, and the December check in mid January. The benefit will be deposited the third Wednesday of every month from now on. And she even told me the benefit amount, minus the premium of course. I am so relieved this is finally happening. 

With the check from MofA we were able to pay off the charges we'd needed to put on the credit cards  to cover our butts, and also some unexpected expenses. It is such a relief to have those gone.  And we had plenty left over.

After the meeting Saturday, we went to WalMart and spent a couple of hundred dollars (half of that was pet expenses!! and a replacement smoke detector). It was amazing to for once not feel cramped by the small amount of money we had. We had plenty; thank you God, and my Dad.

Then home and unloaded groceries and reassured the dogs we were home. Everyone took naps, and then we watched the end of a movie we'd been following, and went to bed around 9 or 9:30.

One of the problems with my brain fog is that I don't remember anymore when things happened: for instance I know the smoke detector suddenly started shrieking one day this week, and traumatized the dogs because J couldn't make it stop. I was plugging my own ears and simultaneously trying to comfort three trembling and frightened furry friends who were all glued to me, and J was on the stepladder trying to figure out why it had gone off. 

He eventually just pulled it off the ceiling, and after a couple of changes of battery, and thinking it was repaired, suddenly it would start shrieking again, setting off the whole mess of panic from the dogs. Oh lord, that alarm is effective.  (But I don't remember what day it was, only that we couldn't replace it until the check got here.)

Another day we cleaned up the yard, me with my mask, sweating like hogs, but taking care of the things that needed it. This time we were clearing out the mess in the far garden by the shed, and along the fence line. It looks a whole lot better. I was only out there an hour and a half or so, and it wiped me out. 

I remember J had a dentist appt for the first of the three cavities.  And he saw his Primary to follow up on the x-rays of his back; this showed mild arthritis throughout his spine, so naturally he has some pain. This is totally normal for someone of his age, but he's so frustrated that the pain level sometimes is beyond the ability of his medical herb to manage effectively. So his doc even said, "If it gets too bad, let me know."  Not sure what would happen then but so far the tramadol is helping.  

Today he has several projects he is in the middle of; I hate this because now several areas of the house are trashed. Sigh. 

The bathroom ceiling didn't get done because the friendly neighbor who was supposed to help didn't show up and is now unresponsive to phone calls. And we have now to wait for another neighbor across the street to bring us the size of the ceiling panels, the drywall, which does not fit in my SUV oddly enough. Hopefully sometime this week.

Another area is the grate in the living room which manages the AC flow; this was needing to be replaced when we moved in, but we chose to put this off until we had more time. Well, the time has come. It's a custom grate which is impossible for is  to replace at that cost.   So J is now planning on ordering a larger grate, and then working to fix the placement.

There are a couple of outdoor projects too. So there's no problem with keeping busy! For him, anyway.

 For me, I'm in recovery for the foreseeable future from this lung thing, and day by day I do things depending on my energy level.  One day this week J and I walked to the end of our street ( about  a quarter mile) and back. That little excursion, masked, sunglasses, hanging onto J's arm and wobbling occasionally wiped me out for the rest of the day. I sat on the sofa and read, and watched TV, and worked on crossword puzzles. 

My dad is also recovering, and Sis is up there taking care of him. He was released from the hospital Monday, and although he is sleeping or dozing a lot, and eating very little, he is improving, slowly. She will be up there for a couple of more weeks, and BIL arrives up there tomorrow. Then he flies out to visit his dad, the one who is also recovering from a broken hip. (It never ends.)  How and when Sis and BIL return to FL is yet to be determined. Then Bro and SIL will go up for awhile.

MissS is on her way, so I will stop here.

Sunday

 Well,  number one, no money has as yet arrived. And the customer service supervisor never responded to my email. Unbelievable.  My rep Becka called me on Monday not to apologize, oh, no, but to inform me they would re-send the deposit since "for some reason" it didn't get sent the week before. She said it would be there within 48 hours.

However, by Wednesday no money was there in my account. Surprise, surprise. 

 At this point I was enraged. I sent off an email to the HR person at my former employer, detailing how inept, slow, and unresponsive this company was. She jumped in and took all this info in back and forth emails,  and then called them, speaking to someone who promised they would be mailing the check. She told me to keep checking my bank account, and maybe even ask them to overnight it if it was sent via mail.

Before this info from her, I called MofO also and spoke to someone  who discovered the second deposit had never been sent, but they couldn't try again because the bank had to return the money first. Umm, excuse me--how does that make sense?? I told this rep that the bank never received it, so how could they return it? He put me on hold for awhile. Then came back and said they'd send a check in the mail while they figured out where the deposit had gone. (I hope someone's head rolls.)

I recounted all this to J. He'd been sitting with me listening to all of my side of the calls. He was even more enraged, and asked if he could take over , and speak with the rep's supervisor to ask them to overnight it since we'd been waiting for weeks. I was by then so exhausted and frustrated and angry that I didn't want to have him do this. We ...discussed...the options. He left the room upset at the situation, and at me I think for not letting him jump in.

We continued on with our day (I was making a casserole for dinner, a new recipe which involved shredded chicken, cheese, veggies, and a white sauce--a variation on a Mexican recipe I'd found). While I was doing this, I was also thinking hard. 

Finally I asked him to call back and see if that option was even possible. I'd been resigned to waiting another week, but I was also at my wit's end and decided to trust him not to lose his temper on this call. He never has before, ever, but as a leftover issue from my previous marriage I am always afraid to "rock the boat" with authorities.

 So I gave him all the info, the paperwork showing who I'd spoken with and when and what they'd said.  And he called. Naturally he had to leave a voicemail for my rep, but then he called back and chose the option which was offered as "urgent". And as a result of this quite chatty and relaxed and reasonable phone call, using all his charm,  and his humble  "I'm only an old man and don't understand what is happening here" routine,  he got the whole mess to be reviewed by the supervisor of my rep. 

She promised to have the check mailed (but couldn't do  over-night).  And not only was it for the original amount, but it will also contain the amount due me for my entire leave, up through Dec 26.  

I'm cautiously optimistic. I've heard their promises before and am skeptical. J  is thrilled with the results,  proud of himself, and feels this is over now. He also brought up the upcoming transition to long-term disability, and she assured him it would be automated; they would get the chart notes from my appt with my pulmonologist on Jan 7, and it should be smooth sailing. We'll see.

In news other than the  Money problem.

Monday I screwed up my courage and called my cousin Ric. Actually he is my second cousin, whom I met once or twice way back in my teens and 20s. We aren't close, but we've kept in touch, as have my other cousins, Ric's brother Robert and sister Dorothy. Recently Ric texted me through Facebook and asked me to call him so we could catch up. 

I have so much anxiety even considering  picking up that phone. But I left a message, and he called back. We talked for almost a half hour!  It was surprisingly easy to keep a conversation going. I'd forgotten he has a slight stutter, and a very deep voice; he also  speaks very quickly. He is deeply concerned about me and my lung situation,  and about Dad (who was admitted to the ICU this week in Burlington, when his pneumonia worsened and the meds seemed to have no effect. More on that later.) 

Turns out he is buying an apartment which they intend to move into in the Spring. This is an assisted living community, similar to the one Gramma lived in, in Ft Myers. For the wealthy class, with excellently trained staff, beautiful layouts and designs in the common rooms, exercise area, pool, tennis; evening activities, housecleaning, and in-room dining options.  And he said with a hint of  (? can't remember the word--a grin, a wink, teasing me), "I think you'll be familiar with the area as you grew up there-- Redding!"  

Sure enough, Meadow Ridge is being built now, actually looks like it's just above the town of Georgetown's border. I know exactly where it  is, despite not having been there in over 45 years. I feel so nostalgic, my heart aches when I think of Redding. I so wish I could afford it. Such a beautiful place to grow up.  I will always be grateful that my Dad and mom found that town, and that property.  I can't say it was an idyllic childhood, but it was pretty damn good.

Robert is in NYC; Lynn's brother is close-by in another small town outside the city; and of course their only child Elizabeth lives in Brooklyn with her 3 children.  Dorothy is the farthest away,  in Vermont.  

My own cousins also live near there: Alec and Liz in Brookfield,  Heather is near by, and my aunt lives in Redding too, with Alec's son, his wife and their two small children. Of course Monks is in DC, but she is close enough that they can all get together for holidays.

So Ric and Lynn will sell their house in Chapel Hill. Lynn just had her second knee replaced 10 days ago and Ric is the sole caregiver, so he could empathize with my J.  He said to pass along his heartfelt love and strength to J, and me too, while I am recovering. He'd had no idea how bad it was. He will notify Robert and Dorothy, too.

He asked about Dad, remembering him as a "good guy"; and was shocked when I told him he was being treated for pneumonia. The day after this phone call,  Dad had a fall in the night, and couldn't get up; he was too weak. He was taken by a neighbor to the local hospital's  ER, where they did some testing and determined they couldn't manage all his conditions and sent him up to Burlington. 

(That was the day my brother arrived up there, the 7th, having flown up emergently. He and SIL had just gotten home, driving from Vermont after a long stay up there with him, thinking Dad was improving. 

My Sis arrived up there the next day; she was originally planning to drive up with BIL closer to Christmas, because Dad had a minor surgery scheduled and they would be with him for that and Christmas. But she jumped on the plane and got a flight to Burlington, where Bro picked her up. Only one visitor is allowed at a time, per day; so she and he alternate days that they spend with him. Bro is coming home here today, and Sis will stay with Dad.)

In Burlington, Dad was found not to have GI issues after all, but he has a parasitic infection caused by a tick, a nasty disease called babeosis. And he has been anemic so he's receiving blood transfusions, and the pneumonia.  He is on meds for the pneumonia and for the tick issue, and apparently this was developing for the past few weeks, if not months. All his symptoms, all the things he's been complaining of, were due to this horrible severe parasite infection. 

My God, the poor guy.  Thank God Bro and SIL were there and had taken him to the Urgent Care Saturday. He was feeling so much better the very next day that they felt it was all right to leave, and also because Bro was out of vacation days. We all arranged who would call Dad when to check on him and remind him of his meds.

But unknown to us, Dad was much worse the next day, confused, disoriented, not eating or drinking. So thankfully the neighbor had been checking on him daily, and was aware of the fluidity of the condition. That night he fell, and the next morning 911 was called by the neighbor, and they took him to the local ER. 

What a stressful few days, putting it mildly. 

J and I feel so helpless. We can't leave due to my own health problem, and so we just pray  and send love and hugs. So grateful for Bro and Sis for their being able to drop everything and get up there. 

I rest most of the day, reading, or watching old movies. Sometimes I work at my desk. J works outside, but only for a few hours at a time. Today he is finishing the French drain set -up on the other side of the house, and then he did the leaf-blowing. 

Later today a neighbor is coming to take J to Home Depot for some more drywall; they are going to fix the place where the leak ruined the bathroom ceiling.  Below are some photos.

 

 We'll have to pay this guy, but it has to be done. We have the money in savings, and Dad's most generous check allowed us to pay our bills. We are doing okay.

So grateful for family, and for J, and for Dad's improvement.

Yesterday morning I was at my AlAnon meeting, and it was so welcoming to be back. Even missing only one meeting, people were concerned over why, and how I was feeling, and I love the concern. Then back home, and we went outside, me masked of course. I did my pruning, and checking each of my plants for dead leaves, and then re-potted three little plants which finally had started growing roots.  

One pot will need actual transplanting into the ground. So I will choose a spot in the front lawn, and J will dig my hole and plant it for me. 

Okay, just have to go lie down for a brief spell before MissS gets here.

TYG

 

   

Sunday

 Another quiet week has passed. My life is pretty quiet now, while I'm recovering. 

Monday morning I called Mutual of Omaha and spoke with someone who (after being on hold for literally 48minutes) told me there was a paper check ready to cut and go out in the mail. It's over $1700. I was so relieved. 

But foolishly  I said, "Oh, can't  it be sent electronically? I signed the authorization to do so."  She looked and couldn't find it, saying it must have gone to another department; I'd called the short-term disability dept, and the release was for the FMLA side. Which makes no sense to me because STD is who sends out the checks, not FMLA.  Anyway, she told me it'd be there by the end of the week.

Then I called my friend Jennie, because we'd been planning to meet up in Orlando this weekend for months; I had to explain why I was cancelling, and that was a hard, emotional call. We were both looking forward to this so much. 

We'd had plans for a visit in late March of 2020, but then Covid hit, and all plans were off.  Still, we had a good long phone call, almost an hour, and apparently I hadn't explained previously just how bad off I was. So now she knows.

While it was wonderful to have both phone calls accomplished, with good news, I was exhausted afterwards.  Then Sis picked me up at 1pm and we went to Target for some light shopping, and browsing. We talked a lot of course. It was a gorgeous day--perfect temps, sunny, windy, striking blue skies. 

Back at home to discover the new ottomans I'd ordered arrived. J put them together in no time. Now we have ditched the old black footstool/ottoman/blanket holder, and the room looks so much more put together.   

Tuesday I received  a link to a  survey from MofO , asking my opinion on the previous day's phone call. Normally I don't participate in these things, but I did this time, expressing my extreme frustration over the whole process. 

That day also J received his new Chromebook. His laptop failed, and after some research this became the best, and surprisingly inexpensive option. Black Friday deals... thank goodness for online ordering and delivery was free. 

MissS came over that night after work to check out the new laptop, and assist with some technical issues. Thank goodness for her too.

Wednesday I received a phone call from my rep at MofO, telling me the electronic deposit had failed and that I needed to call Chase bank to figure out why. (WHAT?? )  

I was puzzled, but called Chase, and this involved another hour- long call explaining over and over to different people what was happening--or not happening-- and each person investigated and then transferred me to another dept. Eventually it was determined that there was no problem on their end, and that I needed to ask MofO to try re-sending. 

I called my rep back and got voice mail; I left a detailed msg as instructed and asked her to let me know an update.

During the rest of the week, Thursday and Friday, I left 3 more increasingly desperate  frustrated messages with her , asking what was going on. No one has as of yet returned my call. Nor have I received any money, electronically or in the mail.

So when I got an email from the customer service rep's manager apologizing for the Monday phone call's confusion, and asking me to call or email if I had any questions, I decided OK buddy, I'm going to lay it on you. I wrote a detailed email Saturday morning,explaining the events of the week.  I am livid, and confused, and so frustrated with their lack of communication. I hit Send, and tomorrow we will see what happens.

Meanwhile I had an appt that Wednesday afternoon with my neurologist, to check on my headache medication progress. After some discussion, she feels I am doing well on the current regimen, and said,  "I'll see you in a year, unless something changes."

J also had a dr appt Wednesday with his PCP,  who I hadn't met before. He had an xray done of his mid and lower back, due to the pain on his left mid-back (oddly this is exactly where I'm having the numbness and severe pain in my back; mine started during my illness back in September when all the other side effects/symptoms started.)

He was diagnosed with a moderate-to-severe sprain, due to a twisting motion he had done while trying to stop a ladder from tilting. So he was given decadron (a steroid to help with inflammation), and toradol ( for the inflammation and pain) injections right there.  Then we trotted off to Publix and got his new rx for prednisone; he has a muscle relaxer already.    We both rested that day after getting home.  

Thursday I got out the Christmas tree which J had retrieved from the storage unit.   He and I put it up, and then he went outside. He was feeling so good from the prednisone that he mowed front and back,  did the edging, climbed the ladder again to test the tarred area, and did the leaf-blower thing. 

After coming inside he was exhausted, but since I was having trouble with the lights on the tree, he worked with me (the dear sweet man was so tired and sweaty but he wanted to please me...) to figure out the issues and we got it done in about a half hour. Then he went to take a nap.

Sis dropped by that afternoon to bring us some lemons and oranges from her trees; she heard all about the various adventures we'd had that week and shared what she was dealing with at work.

Friday morning I had a few weepy moments, realizing that day, the 3rd of December, was officially the last day of my status as employed.  Yes, I am retired now.  I am in the process of realizing that, and accepting it, and adjusting to what that means. 

Jennie had a great suggestion for me: she took--gave herself-- 6 months to just adjust, and not make any decisions on what to do with the rest of her life, but to just consider her options.   And she strongly advised me to do the same, especially since  I am also actually fighting a health battle which requires a lot of rest, and was the reason for the early retirement. 

I really like this idea.  Once I have more energy and my brain doesn't feel like it's falling apart, then I can figure on options. Such as volunteering somewhere, or planning for more day trips around the state, or even going through all the damn boxes I have in my closet.   I don't have the motivation to do much of anything; I hope this fatigue and cotton-brain pass. 

I haven't even packed up my scrubs and lab jackets yet. I'm going to keep one set, just in case.  

Another night recently, I think it was Friday night, I did not sleep at all.  I was in bed by 9-ish, but woke at 11pm, and that was it for the night. I read most of the night. Saturday morning I just didn't feel right. I was, and still am, more dizzy than is usual, and unsteady on my feet, fatigued, headachy. 

 I didn't go to the AlAnon meeting, either. I finished putting decorations on the tree, and now have to wait for J to have time to put the lights up outside. He's doing so much for me now that I hate to ask another thing...

Nothing planned yet for next week. IF my money gets here, we have bills which I hate to see just sitting there; we'll catch that up.  My Dad is also so supportive and generous; without his continued help this whole thing would have been much more scary, financially.

Unfortunately he came down with pneumonia yesterday.  Fortunately my Bro and his wife had been visiting for a couple of weeks, and they were able to adjust their plans. Originally they were to leave Friday afternoon, but Dad took a turn for the worse and they brought him to the  ER yesterday. It sounds like some of the symptoms had been present for a few days prior to the actual visit to the ER, so with any luck this was caught early and is a mild case. Still, at 89, pneumonia is no joke.  

Bro and SIL had to leave, as he is out of vacation time; so they left early this morning, and now Dad is alone. He has friends and neighbors of course, but it's not the same as Family.  

Sis is scheduled to go up in a couple of weeks, the 17th I think.  She and BIL will be there with him over Christmas, and he will be recovering from a surgical procedure scheduled for the 21st. He'll need some help with that, assuming they allow him to proceed with this. I don't know how long this pneumonia will affect him.

Ok. Gotta go rest. 

TYG