Sunday

 JFC, it's just after noon, and it's 88 degrees outside. Sigh. I don't know why I am so surprised every year. I've been here 10 years now, you'd think I'd be used to it.  The pool is at 85 degrees, which is great for me.

It's also official Father's Day, so I've texted DrI and we are in the middle of a conversation.  We had our Father's Day celebration yesterday at Sis' house. BIL and she supplied the meats (chicken, pork, spare ribs) and sides of coleslaw and mac and cheese and garlic toast, and I brought the deviled eggs. I'd brought the meatloaf for Dad, and Sis put that in the freezer.  It was all yummy. It was just me and  Dad and Sis and BIL.

However, Bro and SIL arrived later bringing desserts of cookies and brownies and ice cream. Incredibly rich, and so good. Then Shannon arrived, and that was nice. 

We'd seen a doe and two fawns earlier, meandering around the lawn. That is so cool; it's endearing to realize they trust the residents in the house.

Missy and I left around 5, as Bro and SIL did, and I got in the pool when I got home. It felt wonderful.

That morning I'd gone to the AlAnon meeting, and got hugs from all my friends. I was basking in the glow of one long talk in particular with K, just standing out in the parking lot, in all the heat and humidity. He knows just what to say to help my aching soul.

One thing I'm mulling over: at one point I'd said my heart was cracked, and he instantly and gently said, but don't you see, that's where God is...    Hmm, must ponder. (Sometimes he says things that seem over my head. Once I commented that he spoke so eloquently and thoughtfully, was he ever a minister, a preacher? And he hesitated before saying  Nooooo very slowly. There's a story there, I'm sure.)

Last Sunday, MissS came over in the afternoon, and dragged the entire leftover branch pile out to the curb. It was incredibly hot. I could not bring myself to go outside due to the damn headache I'd had for 2-3 days by then. I'm sure it was related to the weather, because I could not shake it. Anyway, she did that for me in less than half an hour, and then we got in the pool and talked. 

She was due to officially start the new job the next day, a remote training, online, consisting of a number of modules to learn/read, etc.  She didn't stay for dinner, which actually worked out okay: my neighborhood lost power for less than a half hour, right around dinner time. I'd gotten a text that it would be restored by 10:45... but actually it came on much earlier.

The next morning I finished my nebulizer treatments, and found the paperwork for my appt with the PCP in time. I packed up all my meds, but nobody asked to see them. I learned that I'd lost 3 lbs. I'm not really actively trying to lose, and in fact I thought I'd gained due to my inactivity from the hip/leg thing.  

Instead we reviewed the labs and since the cholesterol level is too high we decided to start the statin. The CoQ10 clearly didn't work; I'll stop decrease the cheese. Sigh.

She renewed my GI meds, and is okay with managing these, so no referral to a GI is needed now. But she is putting in a referral to the Derm, and gave me a new rx for the cough pills which were working. Once again she offered an antidepressant, after learning I'm weeping with grief roughly every other day. I do think this is normal, and I really do not want yet another pill. 

Back at home I just collapsed.  Didn't do much of anything.

Tuesday I did some online ordering from Walmart, to take advantage of the free delivery trial again. Everything got delivered on time,  and the one thing I ordered apparently was out of stock, so that cost was refunded.

Wednesday I went to Publix to pick up my meds ($95!  two were free, two were the $45 and $50 items).  And that evening I started the statin, on the lookout for side effects. I attended the Zoom meeting, shutting off the camera part while I ate my dinner, but listening.

Thursday morning, Sis came over and helped me with figuring out two weird pieces of email. Fortunately both were legit. Then we picked up the cat carriers which held the two boys, and popped them in the car. I'd had the usual difficulty capturing them but at least I didn't get scratched.

I drove us to the groomer, and the place was pretty busy, yet we didn't have long to wait. Paul met Sis and then whisked the kitties off one by one.  I feel so much better now, with their toenails clipped. Next week I'll bring Missy and Willow.

Sis stayed for awhile after we got home, just talking and catching up. It looked like it might start raining heavily at one point, so she left to get home before it did.

And at 3:30 MissS called, hysterical. She had just been let go!  She wasn't able to finish all the online modules because she was denied access to the program, and when she explained this to the training supervisor, she was called dishonest!   I've never heard of such a thing. 

I shared this info with everyone in our family, as she didn't feel up to being at the Father's Day meal yesterday. Everyone is shocked and practically speechless.  No one quite knows how to respond, as this is unheard of.

I think that things happen for a reason... but I also know I don't always know the reason at the time. Sometimes it's not apparent until quite some time later, when you can look back and see how all the threads are connecting. 

I feel so much pain for her, and yet she has survived so much. I'm definitely hopeful things will turn around, but currently it is a slow path.

Friday morning I made the meatloaf and stuck it in the freezer. I hope it turns out well. I didn't feel right that day, very low energy. I mainly watched movies, and read, and embroidered.

One very nice thing happened this day: Ben, J's photographer friend, sent me a photo I'd never seen before. On a day trip to the Coast, Ben and J were standing on either side of a huge old-growth tree which had been chopped down who knows when. Ben has his arms folded, leaning on the base. J is also leaning on the base, smiling, one leg on the trunk. It's an amazing capture, and such a gift.  I adore this photo. I need to find another 5x7 frame. I was so touched-- happy tears indeed.

After the AlAnon meeting Saturday morning, I stopped by the Pinch a Penny to get more chlorine. It's now sitting in the car because damn, those jugs are heavy. I'll ask MissS to bring them in for me. 

And when I got home I made the deviled eggs, and packaged everything up including Missy to travel up to Sis'. I had given Missy a mild sedative, but it hadn't kicked in yet.  She shivered and trembled on the drive up, but calmed down a lot when we were sitting in the living room.  She and Rufus basically ignore each other, fortunately. 

This coming week I call the vet for an appt for Missy, and I have my ultrasound on Tuesday. This is the first time it's been just the US and not the usual accompanying mammogram. Interesting. Friday is my followup appt with DrA. The US results should be available by then.

And before next Saturday's AlAnon meeting can start, I pass the door key along to someone else. I can't believe this whole month is almost over.

Hoping to get a swim in today. I think it's pretty warm.

Very grateful, whatever happens. TYG